I distinctly recall discussions about whether guys categorize women as "women to marry" and "women to have fun with." It's a topic that often arises. Some men indeed have different categories or intentions when dating, with some women seen as potential life partners while others are perceived as more casual companions. But what all of you think that like this?
That categorization is very common.
For me though, I don’t have a “women to have fun with” category because I’ve only slept with women whom I’ve been in a long term exclusive relationship with, and are planning to marry.
If we aren’t going to have an exclusive, committed, long-term relationship, we’re not having sex.
If a woman I’ve been pursuing turns out to not be what I’m looking for in a long-term, committed, and exclusive relationship, then I friendzone them.
I don’t want to lead them on and waste their time, nor do I want to take advantage of their affection.
Their time is valuable, and so is mine, so we should both focus on finding the person we DO want to spend the rest of our lives with, rather than wasting our time investing in a relationship that has no future. That’s how I think about it.
In terms of categories, women mostly just fall within these categories:
* Stranger
* Acquaintance
* Friend
* Love Interest (LTR or Potential LTR)
I don’t mess with friends-with-benefits, or side chicks, or playmates, not even when I’m single.
Although I don’t have casual sex, if someone DOES participate in that, I believe it’s only ethical that they let the girl know that they don’t want anything serious. Then, at least expectations are set.
The worst is when a guy lies about his intentions to marry a girl, when really he only wants to take advantage of their trust and vulnerability.
I don’t flirt with friends either.
If I’m flirting, that means they’re in the love interest category and I see a potential future with them.
That remains unless I see enough red flags or deal breakers to revert them back to friend or acquaintance status.
I’m the same, I wish more people thought like you.
@oceangirl It’s nice to find other like-minded people. ✨ Thanks! I believe the main thing is empathy. If more guys would just practice empathy and put themselves in the shoes of the women they are seeing, and treat them as they would want to be treated, they would behave very differently.
I've heard similar categorizations for men. I've heard someone told that they are the type of guy that everyone wants to marry but no one wants to date. The issue with that is the guy that no one wants to date, or the girl that you want to marry but not "have fun with" wind up single as the others wind up saying and leaving toward marriage, and they're not likely to wind up married when no one sees them as a fun date to begin with
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I think that the way people try to describe these things and the words they use make it sound more horrible or more strange than it actually is.
Absolutely everybody who has ever had casual sex does this. People who don’t do that just won’t get it because they only think about the people they’re attracted to as potential boyfriends and girlfriends.
It often has nothing to do with seeing anybody as less of a person, but rather a lack of compatibility. There are people who you might find sexually attractive, and you’d enjoy having sex with them, but you’re not compatible for a relationship. Whether you’d still have sex with them only depends on your attitude toward casual sex.
Maybe you meet them at a time when you’re not looking for a serious relationship but you just want some fun. Maybe there’s a bit of an age gap that would mean that a serious relationship wouldn’t work because aside from sexual attraction you have little else in common , which is why it’s just a fling. Maybe you just have little in common outside of sex anyway. Maybe they’re hot, but you don’t trust that they’d be faithful. Those are all reasons for why someone might categorise someone in this way.
Women do this too. They’ll have a one night stand with a guy they met at the club, or bang some guy they met on Tinder, who is clearly a fuckboy. They know he’s not boyfriend material, obviously, he’s a fuckboy. But it doesn’t matter because he’s hot, she’s horny and they just wanna have a bit of fun.
Of course.
Are you really unaware of that? There are women that are attractive enough to him and have high quality factors about her life that meet his criteria, whatever those criteria are, high character, feminine and sweet and girly, brings peace and is loyal, she doesn't sleep around or party, she is trustworthy, loves kids, young, values family... whatever he is looking for.
There are women that he'd never marry and never take seriously long term. For me it was women with tattoos and piercings. Women that are drinkers and partiers, always in bars in clubs, participate in casual sex. They may be attractive enough to enjoy sexually, if the opportunity arises, but a girlfriend? No way. I'd never date a stripper or Onlyfans girl but I know lots that would at least hit it if the chance popped up. Marriage though? A sex worker? Yeah, here are videos of your girl legs spread on the internet for all the world to see. You are the 5,000th guy to see her naked. Who doesn't want to bring that gutter trash home to mom and to have a family with? What great values and character for a wife to have. She is so "special".
Anyway, since men are not that picky for sex but often very picky for marriage they'll often have sex with women he'd not marry.
On average, I would agree that those categories are common when meeting someone. Ideally, they would want to see if the person is worthy of a long-term relationship or if not, something just for the moment. I would note that when meeting you men would automatically put you in the "fun" category first and then after meeting you that is when they would want to shift you around. The difference between men is that they are willing to test things out even if it's not their typical go-to.
Women categorize men as either "friend-zone" or "I'd have sex with him" so men in turn will categorize women as "recreational use only" or "relationship material".
There's this girl I've known forever, like 30 years. She had sex with a bunch of dudes. She cheated on her boyfriend multiple times with my friend, then married the guy a few years ago. She cheated on him again with my same friend when he came back in town last year. Her and I get along great but I would never marry her.
It's very common. In fact I would say it's necessary for every guy to have. There's women who may be all out Victoria secret models and are great for short term fun, but are also the worst options for a future wife or girlfriend. And vice versa, girls who may not be all that sexy, but are great candidates for a wife or girlfriend
of course. everyone does that. women as well. i mean you might not consciously and actively go around categorizing people. but when you spend time with a person, you know exactly if you potentially see yourself spending the rest of your life with them or if you just wanna fuck them. and if you aren't the person who has casual sex, you still do it by distinguishing between friends and potential husbands.
I don't divide women into any particular categories, because there's only one category I'm interested in -- the category of the women whom I fervently want to serve, pamper, spoil, wait on and ultimately worship. That's the main category. The other category is the one whose occupants have rebuffed my efforts to humble myself to them.
Yes, more than women do. Men can see a 1/2 a thing in a woman they don't loke and she can never recover while we stupid women tend to give chance after chance.
Yes, and it's VERY easy to tell. The vast majority of women think they're good at hiding it. Check the number of women around who are either still single, or a baby momma a few times over, versus the amount that have been married a decade and still going good. For the former... they too, thought 10 years ago they were good at hiding it.
I meant still single or a baby momma at age 35.
Some do. Those types tend to end up divorced, though, for obvious reasons.
Yes we do we have Two zones
Just like girls have friends zone
Men will not tell girls in general because we will get judge for having opinion
It’s more of a mental view of women than an outright categorization. A woman who exercises restraint and her power responsibly usually falls in marriage material everyone else is outside of that. There’s conscious and subconscious behaviors men pay attention to in women that let’s us know whether we’d want to have a relationship with them.
Yes... I work with 90%men. Not all of them have that mindset, but most do. The "married " guys do it too. I work in law enforcement. I see a lot, but it's not my business.
I’ve never done that or heard of it. I knew right away when I was w a girl if she was someone to take serious or someone who was just to have a good time w. That’s cause a lot of the women I knew, my friends knew too. So I knew who was passed around. For instance one of the girls I know pretty much gave all of us blowjobs. So as pretty as she was she was just for fun. She tried to be w me, but I couldn’t.
Most of us probably do. At least in my case I do.
To be perfectly frank, I treat women with the same amount of respect that they have for themselves. Women in my life who dress well, speak well, have good morals etc would kick me in the balls if I tried to get away with some of things I get away with with lesser women.
I think it's true. When you see at a wife you feel a different feeling of if a woman will be able to handle the pressures. Being without makeup 💄 all the time but still be clean and keep the house in order.
Being ready to greet the husband like he is King and she is queen 👑.
Being able to accept when it's place to talk back and when it's good to bare it and so on.
Not anyone can be a good husband and wife
If you want to answer a question about men, look in yourself for the female version. If it exists then the male version also exists.
This is an easy one. Have you done the same before?
I haven’t looked for the “women to marry” list (as of yet.) My list are “women I trust to talk to about anything.” “Women who could be serious relationships.” (One or two are on both the first two lists.) And lastly, “Women I just want to ‘hit it and forget it.’ “
Men who think like that aren't worth a woman's time. Everyone is worthy of a relationship and shouldn't be separated into categories like that
Definitely not true. Everyone does this male or female
@Kingofkings1992 good people don't do this
That is human to have certain people you find sexually attractive, but wouldn’t want a relationship with them. It does not make someone a bad person.
@Kingofkings1992 sure but you don't put them into categories
Yeah, for me the girl has to really fuck it up to not qualify being in the commitment category.
That said, its not the Tattoos or being a little tomboyish. It's being a single mother or a cheater or doing OnlyFans or being promiscuous.
Men that say that garbage are the ones that are single and miserable and probably will stay that way.
I'm not sure what I am if my boyfriend does this. He hasn't told his parents about me and we've been together for almost six months.
Ok thank you.
No
Every woman is "marryable"
This is just men not being willing to "commit" and then blame the woman for it
Yes, it's established truth. Women do the exact same. I have heard, "Guys like you are only good after 30 ", like phrases from different girls. Women also only want carefree fun guys when they are younger and get sudden epiphany after 30.
So... just like women do when they'll go out with a guy for a free dinner but they aren't making him coffee the next morning.
Yes, even three catagories if you include simple friendship or she simply not beeing attractive both in perosnality and looks.
I think there are “guys who just want to play around” and “guys who want serious relationship”.
Well, yeah lol... But girls aren't so innocent either..
Yes, typically you have women to be serious with and ones for recreational use only.
Wth is a recreational facility use woman?
@theworldisbeautiful9 Recreational use. A woman to have fun w/ sexually.
That’s so dumb. Why the heck would that be a thing? Really objectifying too :(
@theworldisbeautiful9 its not unusual that you dont know this as most women dont really understand the male exprience. As a HV man you need to understand what category to put your women into in order to maximize their value to him. Recreational women can be a good time but making the mistake of taking them seriously can be disastrous.
Why would you waste your time with “recreational use” women, when you could just find one woman to marry, love, and be devoted to?
@theworldisbeautiful9 That's a female metric. Having sex is literally why men tolerate women so it wouldn't be a waste of time. As I said women struggle to see past themselves so they have a difficult time understanding what men actually want. Being stuck w/ one women is probably a huge mistake for a man, getting marries is an even bigger one.
Yes, that's absolutely true. If a guy doesn't do that, it's because he doesn't have any experience with dating.
Most guys don't put it that explicitly, but do have some notion of the idea.
Back in my days , yes. Modern women today are categorized as not worth it in regards to anything longer than a fling.
I would avoid guys like this because he has STD's. Also who thinks like this? They want to use woman? I don't want to marry a guy that thinks like this. I want to marry a guy that respects woman and is dating to marry.
Yeah, and most western women aren't marriage material.
Kind of, it depends a lot on both the guy and the woman and the circumstances
If she isn't fun, I'm not marrying her.
Yes. And many girls do also.
No guy I know of.
I never have heard that before
I don't.
Yes, as do women
I don't.
i never did
Absolutely
But I'll be honest about and tell her what it is. I wouldn't lead her on or anything
Many do.
Never heard of it
If I do it.
Yes its very true
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