So i have a very attractive female friend lets call her Lucy. She is Like model attractive. Then i have my best male friend lets call him Tom. Tom used to be attracted to Lucy. But She is indifferent. Very friendly but not emotionally involved with anyone. Once Tom got into a serious relationship with a new girl who is jealous of Lucy. Tom started to repeat all the time to Lucy that she is like his sister. To the point where its weird. I dont know why is he doing this. Is he trying to convince himself that he moved on from Lucy? Is he trying to assure Lucy that she is friendzoned? does he fear his new girlfriend?
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This is def a weird situation bro. My guess is Tom isn't fully over Lucy yet, even with his new girl. Sayin she's like a sister is his way of tryna convince himself more than anyone. Or maybe he still feels something and doesn't want to lead Lucy on, since she's attractive and could prob get any guy.
But doin it so much is suss. Almost like he's tryna prove it to his new woman, cuz he knows she sees how fine Lucy is. Could be she's jealous and he's tryna reassure her nothing's up.
Or it could be the reverse - Lucy still gives him vibes sometimes he picks up on. By friendzoning her hard like that, he's putting distance between them just in case.
Either way, sounds like this new chick has him actin funny. I'd keep an eye on the situation - make sure dude really has moved on before any drama pops off. Maybe have a boys night and ask him straight up why he's always on that, see what he says. Could give you more insight on what's really good between them.
I think your opinion is totally correct. Lucy is seductive so some guys would think she is being flirty and Tom might think so. But i am sure she isn't sleeping with Tom because she isn't that kind of girl. i have spoken with Lucy and I sensed she fears the new girlfriend. And feels really bad vibes about her. Lucy told me Tom is insisting to invite Lucy to his house to meet his new girlfriend. But Lucy keeps avoiding that.
That's super whack of Tom man. Like, what's he trying to prove by forcing Lucy to meet this jealous girlfriend? What a lame power move.
Honestly I don't blame Lucy one bit for not wanting to walk into that mess. His girl clearly already doesn't trust him around her, so putting Lucy in that situation is just asking for major drama.
I can see why meeting up on their turf would make Lucy nervous too, like she'd be on trial or something. Not cool to put your friend in an uncomfortable spot like that.
Dude needs to get real and see he's the problem here for not getting over his past feelings. His chick's insecurity is valid since he won't stop acting sus.
I'd tell Tom to back off Luc for now before he totally creeps her out. Focus on winning back his girl's trust instead of stirring pot with an old flame. Nice girls don't need that stress, ya feel me?
At the end of the day though, this ain't Lucy's fault at all. If Tom wants to keep her as a friend he needs to respect her space instead of forcing weird meetings. Dumb move on his part all around.
I agreeši think i should speak to Tom. I feel he is trying to feel less guilty. Hoping that if his girlfriend got along with Lucy he won't need to deal with the jealousy anymore. Or make Lucy seem like a "family friend" instead of just his old flame.
Yeah man, I think you hitting Tom up for a real talk is the move here. As his boy, you gotta lay it out straight - what he's doing isn't cool and it's not fair to Lucy.
My guess is deep down he still has feelings for Lucy but wants to ignore them. So now he's trying to force this "sister" label and make Lucy meet the girlfriend like it'll magically fix things. But that's never gonna work and just causes problems.
Tell him if he cares about Lucy as a friend, he needs to respect her space. Stop bringing up the past and let her live her own life without drama. Just cuz he's in a relationship now doesn't mean he owns Lucy or gets to decide who she sees.
Also, he needs to check his girl's insecurity. Being jealous and possessive won't make her trust him more. He should be with someone who isn't threatened by normal platonic friendships.
Better for everyone if Tom gets real instead of living in denial. Hopefully he listens to you - dude needs a wake up call before he ruins his friendship with Lucy for good. She doesn't deserve that stress just cuz he can't get over himself!
Heās trying to convince himself, set a boundary, and persuade his girlfriend, but he clearly still has the hots for Lucy.
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