Was I harsh when I denied him money?

[Anonymous]

My dad asked me to lend him 10 000usd. He’s building a house. This sunmer we went holiday together and I paid both of our plane tickets (he said he’s credit card is not working and he will pay me later). Still I haven’t got 850usd back that he promised to pay me back. I do understand things got in the way (our grandpa died and now he’s started to build this house)

10 000 is a lot of money and is half of all of my savings. I’ve grown up in very dusfubctional family and learn from very little that I have to be independent and not seek help from others.

this causing me a lot of anxiety because I might not get my money back or it will take long time. This year so far I’ve already lend 1600usd to my family (my dad and my siblings)

[NathanDavis]

nope, don't do it...

you're not obligated to risk half of your savings

and you should first, let them pay back what they borrowed from you

[Asker]

So I’m not crazy that I said no to him? It’s just in my culture you should always say yes your parents and help them. This is causing me anxiety….

[NathanDavis]

nope... this is not something he requires help with

and not if affects you in negative ways, there should be limits to everything

there is a line between being helpful and being taken advantage of

[Asker]

Yeah I feel like he’s taking an advanyage of me. He didn’t pay me yet the money fot his plain tickets. The onlu reason why I even paid is because he told me his ”credit card is not working”

[Billlewis]

No, not at all. Guys are supposed to give women money, not the other way around.

[Asker]

It’s my dad not random guy