Was I too harsh when I rejected him?

[Anonymous]

So I met this guy in class. He asked me for my number, we talked for a bit and about a week later he confessed that he liked me. Now I absolutely hate mind games so I was blunt with him. Was I too harsh? I didn't know how else to word it.

Updates

+1 y

God i still feel guilty about it. Looking back at it i definitely could've worded it better

[charlean]

I would have said “I’m not interested” rather than “I don’t really have any feelings for you” because some people (like him) see that as still a window of hope because they think “i don’t really have any feelings for you AT THIS MOMENT BECAUSE I DONT KNOW YOU VERY WELL”

[charlean]

But no, I think the rejection was good

[charlean]

Could have thrown him in a compliment like “I think you’re a lovely guy but” or whatever tho

[MTC29]

The truth is the ultimate defense. If you have no feeling for him say so. Don't play games. In high school I asked a girl out and she told me that she'd be free on February 30th. I graduated in 1978. That's how long this has stuck with me.

On the other hand, women who simply said "No thanks" to dates, aren't even memorable. Trust me, you did fine.

[sensible27]

Could've explained why you don't have feelings for him?

[Asker]

Yeah but I feel like that might have made it sound worse

[sensible27]

A little odd. What was the reason?

[Asker]

Well I don't feel any attraction to him and I think we're too similar.

[mamasan]

That wasn't harsh, but I'm sure it was still tough for him to hear. Either way, better to be honest with him than to lead him on or ghost him.

[Spookydood]

You rejected him the best way you could. Clear and concise, I'd say polite even. Rejection is harder to handle than it is to give it out, but not by a whole lot.

[20yearsolder]

Actually that was perfect, it wasn't too harsh. In my opinion people beat around the bush too much. Offering to still be his friend is very sweet

[Any1iguess]

As long as he understands your intention I think it’s fine

[Hangry06]

He still has hope. So it ain't rude

[Tiger288]

That why I don't approach women anymore

[Asker]

Ah I'm sorry about that. I do feel bad for rejecting people tho