Very confused! He says he doesn't want a relationship but seems to be acting more interested as time passes?

[AlohaKitten]

Currently seeing a 42 year old man for 5 months. Two weeks prior to meeting him he had broken up with his live-in girlfriend of 1 year. Month 3 I asked if he wanted to be in a relationship (since we were actively going on dates and seeing each other every other day) and he said "no". When I asked if it was because he didn't want a relationship in general or with me specifically, he admitted that he felt there were "risks" in dating me. He didn't like certain things about me/my past (was married and at the time he didn't fully know the story). The next day when he was more clear-headed texted that he's just not looking for a relationship but wanted to continue seeing me.

Fast forward to month 5, I no longer initiate contact/dates and he always does. Every day he checks in on how I'm doing, began opening up about his past and emotional state (like depression), asks life/business advice (he's a CEO of a pretty large company), wants to see me for 12-24 hour dates/hangouts and gets pretty upset when I leave, asking if I love him during sex, public dates (including PDA), listening/comforting me about my personal life (he didn't do this until month 3) not always having sex when I come over, etc. It seems he is increasingly becoming more emotionally available, open and interested as the months progress which is very confusing since he said he didn't want a relationship. I know from his apartment complex doormen that he has seen his ex once since we first started talking but other than that no other girls have come. We see each other probably every other day (i. e.: I saw him 4x this week. All times initiated by him.) He had a very bad week but wanted to see me still.

Help! What do you make from this? He's a pretty overall closed off guy but he keeps opening up to me and trying to become more (almost clingy) close to me.

[HaleyCatgirl]

So I'm about to actually go off on you for not fucking listening he's just much at fault but you have the ability to stop it we can't talk to him. He fucking told you what he needs out of you he doesn't want to be in a relationship right now and you're fucking ignoring him clearly. The reason this pisses me off so much is because I've had friends like him, I'm sitting there doing your job comforting him I have to eventually break the person down first so that way they will understand that hey when they do break down I'm not going to leave them and fucking tell everybody about their issues. No you don't mention any other issues but you mentioned a lot of his don't you. You fucking spit on that trust he gave you. You betrayed that shit by making it public and knowing what he wanted the moment he fucking told you. Then his friends just like I do have to go in and break him down so he knows it's okay and you don't know how heartbreaking it is to hear a grown man break down. That shit makes me cry afterwards when they fall asleep eventually and this is just online I wish I could do more and you have that ability to and you're just squandering it. Fucking think logically think about the other person listen to what they're saying you have not done that thinking about me me it should be about us if you want to get into a relationship with that person you need to be there to support them not post their personal shit online. Honestly I don't give a fuck what your replies to this think logically don't waste your time replying to my comment and think about this because fucking 16-year-old should not be telling you common sense and logical shit. Fucking blind as shit fucking fucking even posted the issue herself without realizing it. Man it's hard to find someone who actually respects you nowadays fucking Christ.

I might get hate for this but I fucking stand by it I believe in what the fuck I'm saying right now because I lived it with my friends.

[swettannie]

Maybe he scared that you loose interest because of the age difference

[bededazzle]

If you want a relationship and he doesn’t, I think you should prioritize what you want. You are not annoying by asking him to explain the discrepancy between his words and behavior. If communication is important, it is best to make this the norm sooner than later. good luck—be careful to protect your feelings :)

[AlohaKitten]

Thanks for the feedback! :) Much love and light!

[bededazzle]

i hope everything works out. you are just young so i feel protective of your needs

[AlohaKitten]

Much appreciated!

[In_Trance]

Why don't you talk to him about it?

[AlohaKitten]

I think i’m a little scared because I brought it up 2x in month 3. I feel annoying.

[Iron_Man]

Give it time

[AlohaKitten]

Do you think there's a possibility for him to go forth with a relationship after a certain amount of time? I come from a fundamentalist religious background so I'm used to the period of talking to be very short.

[Iron_Man]

I don’t know the guy personally you have to wait-and-see I don’t wanna tell you something that’s like rolling the dice