I guess I took her for granted...Now I want her back. Have you been in this situation on either end?

[Anonymous]

i dated this girl a while ago...she was really into me, I liked her a lot too but she liked me more. we kept dating, things got awkward, I became distant. she decided we should just hook up instead of date, we did this but I became even more distant and she eventually told me she doesn't hook up with people who won't otherwise talk to her for long periods of time. later I did something that was unforgivable in her eyes and she cut me out completely. it was upsetting but I didn't care so much and I felt sort of liberated. I left her with unanswered questions as to why I acted the way I did. months and months passed and we didn't talk at all. I texted her recently and she wasn't rude but distant. after calling her out on this she told me she doesn't care about me at all anymore and to not speak to her anymore. I feel lonely and I know it's my fault. I can't stop thinking about her but there's nothing I can do about it.

have you been in this situation before? I feel like a complete a**hole. I had my reasons to be distant (she was doing or saying some stuff that she thought I was too stupid to figure out) but I still regret how I handled things. I can't get her out of my head

[Anonymous]

Dude I feel you on this one. I made a similar stupid mistake breaking it off with this one girl. We both liked each other. But a new girl came into the picture so I broke it off casually. Then, after several months I wasn't feeling it for the new girl, I wanted to get back with the girl that I get along with. But the feeling changed she became distant. Basically it was completely over when I said lets stop it. The stupidest thing was I broke it off with a girl a really connected with. But as the months went by the feeling was eventually gone.

I had the feeling of being lonely as well. It hurts, the way the made it stop for me was to keep myself busy with things / school / work / going out with friends/ seeing other women. Eventually I was over it with my Exs. I even ran into one of my Exs at a med convention / got some closure to see if there still something there.

Long story short this my two cents on the matter of how I coped with it. Best of Good luck!

[Asker]

thanks man I appreciate it and I believe your advice works. I guess the pain I'm feeling right now is that it is for real never happening again. it's just crazy to think how much of a delay there was for this. I'm pretty sure she was upset directly after we stopped talking and got over it. I'm only feeling it now, like half of a year later. crazy man..haven't felt this way since my ex from years ago. I would still like some closure with her. I guess I just have to get over this...

[Anonymous]

I'm in something fairly similar. The best I can suggest for your story is to send a long letter with every apology you want to make, and explanations for your actions. Remember, as you'd compose this letter, that you're the one asking for forgiveness. (i.e. Don't lay any of the blame on her. You'll regret it later.) Hopefully that will give you enough closure to move on.

[Anonuser2020]

I was on the receiving end on being taken for granted, my situation is different as I was in a serious relationship w/him. Realizing that he didn't treasure me when I gave my all was the most hurtful thing I have felt. He always said how much he loved me and appreciated me, but I didn't feel that. I am not angry or resentful towards him, but I know that I will never take him back as I cannot trust that he will ever appreciate me and if I get back together he will prob treat me even worse.

You may never be able to get her to trust you again, try to talk to her and see what happens, if she rejects you then time is the only thing that will show you. If she moves on take this as a lesson to cherish what you have and never take anyone for granted.