Are we in a talking stage or just being friends?

[Anonymous]

I chatted with a guy everyday almost a month. And we also called like almost every day lately. He always send me good morning text, tell me his days and good night text. However, when we talked, he didn’t seem to ask any questions about me. He only talked about general topic or our daily lives. I casually ask him without being obvious if he talks to family or friends everyday and it sounds like he only talks to me. He is not really flirty or saying sweet things to me. He doesn’t ask me about personal things or past relationships. It’s vague here because he is quite neutral when we talk and texts. So I’m confused if that means anything or it’s just friendship. But would you tell every step of your day to your friend?

Updates

+1 y

Thank you all for your response. Yes he talked about himself and asked about me but as mentioned earlier it’s not very personal. We discuss various topics like life abroad as we both live abroad. But I just don’t get the sign that he is flirting with me. (Probably not that kind of flirts I had before). We both also turning 30 so I wouldn’t think it’s just for passing time either. I’m sure he has other things to do. I just don’t want to be so emotional invested if I read the wrong sign.

Updates

+1 y

Thanks again for replying. Many of you have asked if I have flirted with him. From my perspective I do in a subtle way like calling him when I wake up, showing concerns. Or if it’s not really obvious I don’t know. Give me some ideas! I have almost no experience with this long distance kinda stuff.

Updates

+1 y

recently he hinted that he thinks of me more than friend. He casually talk about coming to meet me when I move to new city. I think he is getting to know me like asking about my mind and perspective. He still hasn’t asked me personal questions. I asked about his friends and female friends. He never ask back about this. When I told him I see my friend, he never seem to bother who or gender. I am thinking of casually ask about his past relationship. Why he is not curious about my relationships?

[MissStrawberry912]

Not sure girl. Maybe it’s bestieship zone? Lol. Or safe zone? I had a close guy friend who used to do that to me every single day… except he did flirt here and there. But I never reciprocated cuz it’s just his personality & he once told me when we first met that he didn’t see a future for us since I didn’t know what I want for my career at that age lol. But guys are weird and confusing. I think we just missed each others timing. He also did say I was also like a bestie to him. Therefore if you like him.. try something such as “your hair looks cute today” to break the friendship ice haha. Sometimes it’s hard when you’re really close to someone to break that ice… typically I don’t do it cuz a good friend is a good friend most of the time to me.

[Asker]

I am the same once it falls to friendzone, I don’t really consider as romantic partners. Well I had a similar situation before like you. That guy was just what people called today “situationship”. I told him to keep distance and later we were officially dated. It was my worst breakup as we were friends long time. I think you didn’t miss anything. Maybe it’s for the best.

[MissStrawberry912]

Thanks girl! No worries that was years ago in my early 20s! Haha. What I like then is not what I like now and I’m so glad we didn’t date. Im sorry it didn’t worked out, but it means there’s someone else meant for you! So you don’t like your male bestie? If not, I hope you can set healthy friendship boundaries with him and respectful for his new girl.

[Anonymous]

hm yeah see this is the major problem with long distance and why it never ever works out. you can't even go on dates to get to know each other more organically (like, going to an ice cream shop and being like oh i want the oreo ice cream). i think he knows this so he's keeping it at a distance. friends is the most you guys are, at best.

[virtue2332]

It's hard to say maybe he is shy and waiting for some sign on your end to feel comfortable enough to be flirty. He may have had an experience that he got flirty and misread a connection and now he is gun shy. If you like him you might have to be obvious. I'm not saying it's not possible because I don't know him but I don't know of any guy that spends that much time talking to someone unless they are interested. I wouldn't and I don't talk to my guy friends that much.

[virtue2332]

There is nothing wrong with making a move or ratcheting up your flirting skills. He may just not be comfortable doing it for the same reason you are. He doesn't want to face being rejected. You should never be afraid to fail or you are going to miss some opportunities. It's not like the world is going stop everything that we are doing and laugh and ridicule you if you are going after something you want. You do like him right? Then grab your ovaries and go get him. If he doesn't feel the same move on.

[Asker]

Ok and another point is that he always tell me “glad you are home safe” “be careful” “drive safely” like all those showing concern messages. I to be honest will get really annoyed if all of these are just simply as friends. We are surely in long distance situation so I don’t feel like I should pursue anything unless he makes the first move.

[virtue2332]

What happens if you both feel that way

[RavVid]

He does seem to putting in some effort as a friend. So i am inclined to think you are talking. He might feel a barrier at this point to talk about personal stuff.

[Asker]

Ok and another point is that he always tell me “glad you are home safe” “be careful” “drive safely” like all those showing concern messages. I to be honest will get really annoyed if all of these are just simply as friends. We are surely in long distance situation so I don’t feel like I should pursue anything unless he makes the first move.

[RavVid]

Yeah. How distant are you? It is not so important to meet as friends as it is if it is a guy gal situation.

Also the conversations appear to be action oriented as I term it rather than have emotional content. The showing concern messages are pretty light weight to be honest and guys know girls like us to express them - so we do.

Maybe you should ask him if it is just friends.

[serious]

As of now it looks like he wants to start with friendship and then maybe he may take it forward

[Asker]

Ok and another point is that he always tell me “glad you are home safe” “be careful” “drive safely” like all those showing concern messages. I to be honest will get really annoyed if all of these are just simply as friends. We are surely in long distance situation so I don’t feel like I should pursue anything unless he makes the first move.

[serious]

Well he surely cares for you. Men are protective towards the ones they care about and especially this is true towards women they care about, it is something that is natural for men to do so.

He is protective for you.

[Joshydavid25]

You never know fully.. He could be attracted to you, but doesn't know how to proceed, or is too cautious to actually make any moves hinting at it.. Right now it seems as though he is just being friendly and enjoying texting you..

[Joshydavid25]

Well, you say that you were thinking about him when you saw something. Maybe say he looks really nice whatever day you guys are talking. Make a little more overtly flirty gesture like teasing him.. Stuff like that..

[yourmom202]

Definitely give it a little more time, he’s probably still just getting comfortable and having a feel for things! Try throwing in a few subtle flirty messages and see how he responds, that should give you a feel for where you guys stand. But if he’s talking to you everyday with good mornings and updates i’d say you two are doing pretty well.

[RedInnocent68]

Even friends have to want to know something about you or want to tell you something about themselves. 🤷‍♂️

[Asker]

Yes he does. But not like relationship kinda questions.

[RedInnocent68]

Do you flirt with him?

[RedInnocent68]

You’ve got to break the barrier where he can engage with you in a sexual way. Here’s an idea, pick a movie star who has similar features (or not), talk about watching a movie, ask ‘what do you think of her?’ If he says something positive, ‘don’t you think I look like that too?’ Or negative,
‘Don’t you think I have better…’ Boom! He’s talking to you about how you look, and how attractive you are, and you’re set up to more. 🤔😉

[HaleyCatgirl]

You could just ask him it would save you a lot of time in both aspects

[strateguy632]

it means he wants to meet in person and then ask.

[sheikalana]

Seems like you’re more of a friend/companion for now.

[driven159]

if you were the only person he talked to then maybe he just wants someone to talk to him

[AndreaH]

You seem more of a friend

[Cute_potato01]

Talking

[Anonymous]

You're good for timepass

[he-takes-a-part]

Chodu stage