Guys, what's the best way to get turned down after shooting your shot over text?

[JetplaneJane]

One of my new co-workers, whom had been suspiciously friendly since I arrived, has finally sent me the dreaded "wyd" text after a Thanksgiving get-together we both attended.

I'm very likely to end up as his direct supervisor at some point, and I'm already part of his leadership as is, so I'd like to be as quick and kind as possible with my rejection.

Updates

+1 y

He has since followed up with "What's up" and two phone calls. He's obviously drunk so I've ignored the calls and just replied "respectfully, no". Fingers-crossed that's the end of it.

[RoronoaZoro8]

I would just say "I'm sorry I'm not interested in anything more than being coworkers" and leave it at that.

[LiamJHayden]

I never ask over text so no experience, but I am fine with a girl not being interested so anything polite

[RedInnocent68]

Yeah, it’s a challenge. You’re a leader. As much as you want to feed off the love and admiration. Sometimes you have to settle for the respect. Unfortunately, some people just never get it, and can’t see when they’re digging a hole. Just remain task focused and don’t worry too much about hurt feelings. #LikeABawse

[Holsen]

I think the most effective method here would be ignoring on socials like not even seeing his messages or lile if you have work messages then as formal and strictly as it can be without any grain of understanding!!

[Billlewis]

I always feel much better if she gives me an opportunity to serve her in some other, non sexual manner.

[JetplaneJane]

He can serve me by doing his job and leaving alone outside of duty hours unless it's a work-related concern.

[Billlewis]

Yes, ma'am. I never pester a woman who has rejected me.

[Unit1]

A simple "no" does everything, that needs to be done.

[BoopBoopBeep]

anybody who shoots their shot over text should be used to rejection in all forms

[Tim2nice]

You have a very good excuse already. You don’t date co-workers

[JetplaneJane]

My reasoning is solid, no doubt. But I was trying to reply in a way that did the least amount of damage. Last thing I need is a subordinate hating my guts because of something unrelated to work

[Tim2nice]

Ok, you could tell him. You’re not interested in him as well. Don’t feel bad about it. I get turned down a dozen times a day and I take it with a smile.

[KrakenAttackin]

Ignore the text. "WYD" is a total fuck boy text anyway. As for you, don't fucking cock tease him.

[JetplaneJane]

Don't worry, I take personal offense to my coworkers showing attraction to me and go out of my way to be as unappealing as possible within workplace standards. And after this, I'm only speaking to him if it's absolutely necessary for work.

[deus_ex_sisyphus]

Rejection is going to sting regardless of how you deliver it. Just tell him you are hanging out with your boyfriend and he'll get the picture

[Anonymous]

Any guy who shoots his shot over text deserves to get brutally shot down. That would hopefully teach him never to do that again--a lesson that if learned, would greatly improve his life.

[2willi]

no interest in relationships with people I work with

[buff006]

Just turn him down gently but firmly, what is the big deal...

[JetplaneJane]

The big deal is verbiage. I didn't want to accidentally word something in a way that a dude might misinterpret. This is only the second time this has happened to me so I had no idea how to handle this situation and I wanted to make sure I did it right.

[buff006]

Only second time, you gotta be cute / gave charm.. I think dont overthink & sweat it... Thanks but I have a b friend, fiancee, have an ongoing relationship, I would like to be professional at work.. but dont start dating sone from work afterwards...;)

[buff006]

have

[TheSpaceGnome]

How is asking what you're up to considered in any way to be "flirting" 😂
We say that to everyone, even dudes. It usually just means "I'm bored".

[JetplaneJane]

There's a lot of context I didn't include for the sake of brevity. Also, do you normally double-text and try to call dudes you've just met?

[TheSpaceGnome]

I don't give out my phone number to people I've just met.
You said he was a co-worker that you're a superior to, and that your upcoming promotion would increase that social gap, that statement would seem to imply you already knowing him.

I don't know what you mean by "double text" If you mean sending the same text twice, then thats nothing. Me and most of my friends have spammed eachother by name 50 times in a row, just to say stupid nonsense or "hi" when they reply, because it's funny. Then we go play video games, and no one ever has the idea in their head that anyone was flirting lol.

[JetplaneJane]

1. Facebook messenger exists. I don't need to give people my phone number for them to text me.

2. I am not being promoted, I already exist in a position above him by default.

3. I have interacted with him for less than 30 minutes total over the few days I've known him.

4. As I've said, there is additional context. Your assumptions have failed to capture any of that. Also, whether or not you think he's coming on to me is irrelevant to the question.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I don't use facebook or social media apps in general, that shit is social cancer.
Also I was talking about your "likely promotion to direct supervisor".

If you only spoke with him for less than 30 minutes total, then unless the parts you left out are mentioned and very telling, I'm going to say you don't know him well enough for any sort of read on his intent, which actually is relevant, because if he's not hitting on you, and you send a rejection message, its going to be really awkward at work.

[JetplaneJane]

Your use (or lack-there-of) of social media is irrelevant.

I know what you were talking about, and I'm telling you that becoming his supervisor is not a promotion. I am already a supervisor, just not his.

Also, for the third time, yes. There is very telling context that you don't have. Thank you for almost comprehending what I've been saying.

Unfortunately you've still understood pretty much nothing, and assumed that I (the person experiencing this) have no idea what is happening in my life. Congratulations on consistently and confidently missing the point and contributing nothing to the conversation.

Have a gold star 🌟

[Vegasrunner]

Just be honest and tell him you're not attracted to him and will never be. Sounds like you like the attention.

[JetplaneJane]

I hate it, actually. I want my coworkers to like me because I'm cool and good at my job, not because they want to have sex with me. Thanks for assuming irrelevant things, though!

[Vegasrunner]

@JetplaneJane I want a blow job from Scarlett Johansen but we both have to live in reality

[JetplaneJane]

Which reality? The one in which you somehow know me and my life better than I do? If that's where you live, you could probably get that bj from Scarlett. Keep being delulu, I'll be over here handling my business.

[Vegasrunner]

@JetplaneJane No the one where you believe avoiding direct communication is the best way to communicate a message directly.

[JetplaneJane]

Can you point out where I said I was avoiding direct communication? God forbid I take a pause and ask for input on how to handle something with kindness and grace 😂

[Vegasrunner]

@JetplaneJane Can you point out anywhere were you said you told him directly you had no romantic interest in him?

[JetplaneJane]

Wow! It's almost like I was asking for advice on how to do that without being a jerk! My bad, I'll make sure to do things before considering how best to approach the situation. That way, when I ask for redundant advice later, everyone can just tell me how wrong I was.

[Vegasrunner]

@JetplaneJane Apology accepted. Yes, that's why I gave you advice w/ my response. You're not the first woman to ask this question and won't be the last. TBH I think you know the correct way its just that women don't like confrontation and deep down lime the attention they receive.

[ohsheeT]

Did you say out hunting turkeys

[B5567]

Hang out with him and then ghost him.

[shortster]

"No thanks"