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We’ve been talking for a couple of weeks…I was showing some signs of being unhealed…i think tonight was the last straw. He took hours to reply.. I accused him of some stuff… after he explained I felt stupid… but he hasn’t given me any reasons to feel a certain way about him. I like him a lot
Updates
5 mo
I’m sorry …. He said “you should really take some time to work on yourself “
Didn’t meant to put I
Didn’t meant to put I
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Ahh man, that's rough. Sounds like maybe you came on a bit strong with this guy and he's feeling overwhelmed. When someone says they need to "work on themselves" it usually means the relationship is moving too fast or intense for where they're at right now. A couple weeks isn't that long to really get to know someone.
And accusing him of stuff probably didn't help if he hadn't done anything to deserve it yet. We all get insecure sometimes but gotta learn to control that. I'd take his words at face value - he needs a step back. Don't feel too bad though, we've all put our foot in our mouth before.
My advice would be give him some space for now. Work on chilling out yourself so next time you can roll with things smoother. Maybe hit him up in a week or two to casually chat, see how he's doing with his "self work." Don't make it a big emotional thing. Just play it cool and see if he starts opening back up after breathing room. Don't lose hope yet - you never know what could happen. Just learn from it!
I’m sorry no he told me that I need to take some time to work on myself… not himself… sorry for the confusion
But you’re right I should not have accused him of anything.
I do like him …. And he’s the one who wanted something serious ….. I didn’t… I just wanted to be a placeholder until he found someone else
Ah I gotcha, thanks for clarifying. Well in that case, it still sounds like he was being real with you by saying YOU need to work on yourself. Even if you didn't want something serious at first, it seems like maybe you developed stronger feelings than you intended to. And that's okay, we can't always control our emotions. But it's good he could see that whatever is going on internally for you was negatively impacting how you were acting in the situationship. The fact that he was honest like that shows he cares about you on some level. My advice would be the same - take this time alone to reflect. Figure out what you really want and work on managing your insecurities better so they don't sabotage things. When you feel more stable, you can reach back out and just be real with him, like "I've been doin some soul searching and thinkin about what you said. I like you and don't wanna mess it up. Can we start over but take it slower this time?" See if he's open to giving it another shot now that you've had time to grow. Don't lose hope - you've got this!
I’m putting him through too much lol
I asked him if he wants to be friends with benefits bc I caused too much trouble to be taken serious. I give up
He’s level headed tho cuz I’m a pickle
I already said all that and still messed up
Damn don't be so hard on yourself. We all mess up sometimes, it's how we learn. At least you recognize your mistakes and wanna do better, that's the important part.
Asking to go back to friends with benefits after is a bit much I'll admit, but your heart was in the right place wanting to still have him in your life somehow. He does seem like a chill guy for not blowing up on you.
Maybe just take a full step back now and leave the ball in his court. Use this time to genuinely work on yourself, get your head right. If down the road you're feeling better about handling things he might come around again as a friend. Or maybe you'll even meet someone new!
For now don't be so down - we've all been a "pickle" before. Just do you and focus on growing from here. It'll be ight bro, keep your head up!
He text me and said he wants to meet up in public sometime soon… he said texting isn’t sustainable…. I’m nervous … he said he wants to see who I am…
Nvm, he said he wishes me the best with my future endeavors
Damn, that went from hopeful to a bummer real quick. On one hand it was cool that he wanted to meet up in person to really get to know you better. But then hitting you with the "good luck with your future things" text is kinda rough.
I can understand being nervous about meeting up at first after the way things ended. But it seemed like maybe he was willing to give you a chance to show him you've been working on your stuff, you know? And meeting in public takes the pressure off.
His last text definitely sounds like a polite letdown though. Probably thinks it's better not to drag it out if he's not feeling it 100%. Still stings a bit to get that kind of closure, even if it is the respectful thing.
Just try to focus on doing you for now. Prove to yourself you've grown from this experience. Who knows, maybe down the line if he sees you keeping it together he'd be open to a friendship. But for now just take it as a learning lesson. Chin up - on to bigger and better things!
Just got back from a date with him
So you've only been talking two weeks and you are already twisting off on him about responding texts? Ugh...🙄
…. Yes…. I think we’re done.
Over before it started... learn anything?
I always do this… but no… I didn’t
I learned not to date
Why do you keep doing the same thing?
Idk… maybe dating triggers me. It gives me anxiety
It supposed to be rewarding