He has been in a relationship for the last 6 years. Yet I'm the first person he calls after he returns from his trips and not his girlfriend. Why?

[Anonymous]

He even gets pissed if I don't contact him often or go silent on him. Why?

Updates

+1 y

He used to like me before he started dating his girlfriend. But i wasn't ready for a relationship back then. But after being in a relationship for last 6 years why he is like this with me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo look, this whole situation sounds super sketchy to me. If he's in a serious relationship already, he shouldn't be acting like this with you on the side. A few things could be going on:

- He likes the attention and validation you give him, so gets mad when he isn't the center of it. But that's emotionally cheating on his girl.

- Maybe things aren't as great with his girlfriend as he lets on, so he turns to you to fill that void instead of dealing with issues in his actual relationship.

- At worst, he could be a manipulative guy who wants to keep multiple girls on the hook at once to feed his ego.

None of it is cool that he's disrespecting his girlfriend like that. And you don't wanna be some dude's side piece either my friend. Have some respect for yourself.

I'd say tell him straight that his behavior crosses a line since he's in a relationship, and you won't be an option on the back burner anymore. Then cut contact - he'll just keep playing games otherwise. You deserve way better than being second choice!

[Asker]

He has stated clearly that he loves his girlfriend. And he doesn't see me as an option. We have been friends for last 8 years even before he met his girlfriend, he used to like me but i wasn't ready for a relationship back then so inorder to move on he started dating his current girlfriend

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah I see, that definitely changes things a bit. In that case, it could just be that you guys have known each other for so long that you're really close friends, even if there was romantic interest in the past.

It's not that weird then for him to want to check in with you after trips or get annoyed if you don't talk - some friends are just super tight like that. As long as he's clearly committed to his girl and doesn't act flirty or give you the wrong idea, then the friendship itself isn't too suspicious.

I'd say as long as he respects boundaries and doesn't say or do anything that disrespects his relationship, it's probably fine to stay friends. Friendships can evolve over time, so it makes sense you'd stay close even after he started dating.

As long as you're both comfortable with where you stand and neither of you have lingering feelings, a close friendship can work. Just be wary of any signs he may be emotionally cheating or taking his girl for granted. But it sounds like he's been honest so far so give him the benefit of the doubt for now. Keep chatting as long as it feels right :)

[Asker]

So is it normal if he asks my body count or how many times I masturbate?

[Oliverlogan263]

No, him asking those personal and sexual questions is definitely not okay at all. That's some creepy, disrespectful stuff right there.

As a girl, you shouldn't feel obligated to share anything intimate about yourself just cause some guy asks. Your body, your choices - period.

Honestly the way he's acting gives me a bad vibe. I'd be REAL careful with this dude, ya feel me? Like you said you've been friends for years, but people can still surprise you sometimes.

Please don't be alone with him or give him any private info until you know his intentions are pure. And if he keeps pushing those convos, don't be afraid to cut him off sis! Your safety is what really matters.

Stay close with your good girlfriends too for support. Any real friend would never make you uncomfortable like that. You deserve people who uplift you, mama!

Much love - protect your peace always. Let me know if you need anything else, a'ight? Keep shining queen 👑

[Taylorbb]

Based on questions like these.

I can see why Roe vs Wade got overturned.

[DJB72]

Sounds like there's still feelings there. Just because we don't get the relationship we hoped for doesn't mean we stop having the feelings.

In my early 20s I fell in love with a girl. We missed our moment. I told her how I felt and her reply was "Well there's nothing I can do about that now". The "now" floored me. She'd committed to taking a job the other end of the country. We stayed close and I started to make plans to move closer to her. I intended to say something to her when I went to stay with her for a few days. The night before I was due to go she called and said she'd met someone.

My feelings didn't just go away. It's been almost 30 years now and although we lost touch for a long time we're back in contact now. I still have residual feelings for her. I care that he turned out to be an abuser. I'd still like to pulverise the SOB for hurting someone I love. BUT I'm married now for 20 years. I love my wife and son. I still care. I likely always will.

Just not the same way.

[DannyUk2017]

Because he wants to "pump you" Duh! I'm sure he Never got Over you even if 6 years have passed.🤷‍♂️

[Asker]

Pump me?

[DannyUk2017]

👉👌💦💦💦... Hope u got it, now. 😁

[Asker]

Sex! Is that all he wants from me? He knows I'm not into hookups. And he claims to be in love with his girlfriend

[DannyUk2017]

Yeah, yeah, yeah... A woman like you looking like that? And HIM? Playing the "denial game?"... nah... i'm sorry but even Me as a male not falling for that! Clearly you "sparked something" in him "again"... that Now made him want You even more... and yes, i'm talking about Sex.

[Asker]

He loves his girlfriend. I am very blunt with him. And we are very very good friends. Yes he used to like. me but what I don't understand is why he would always call me first after every new thing he does instead of his girlfriend. He comes back from every single trip he calls me first.

[DannyUk2017]

He doesn't want go show it, But he does Fall for you even if he says that "he loves" his "girlfriend so much"... he just wants "to see" the desire in you and the happiness that You are Happy with what He is Doing, and Want!

[LunarEclipse433]

She doesn't understand he wants her for sex

[DannyUk2017]

@LunarEclipse433...👏👏👏👍

[Finchie40]

Because he wants you instead of his girlfriend. He doesn’t truly love his girlfriend, he just likes the convenience of her so , if you told him you wanted to be with him , he more than likely will dump or cheat on his girlfriend , to be with you. He is pretty much waiting for you to make the move since he already tried making a move on you before he was with his girlfriend, so the ball is on your court

[Friendlybro79]

Why are you asking us? We don't know him. You claim to be good friends and he's made it clear he loves his girlfriend so go ask him. I bet you he can give you an answer as to why he is like this with you? Also, since you're good friends, don't you realize good friends act this way? If you don't like something say something to HIM.

[Asker]

Don't answer if you can't help. Just ignore the question and keep swiping

[Friendlybro79]

I can absolutely take that advice. I will be sure not to answer your questions going forward. Sorry you didn't like my direct feedback but I did answer your question just so you know.

Anything we say is a guess which really won't help you at all. If you seriously want to know the answer to the question you have to ask him. Good luck.

[RavVid]

I'd say you are better girl friend to him than his girlfriend is at being a girl friend.

There is potential for you to swoop in I think.

[FunkyMonkee]

Maybe he thinks of you as a kind of gal pal. When you have something "big" happen in your life, don't you wanna go and tell your girlfriends as soon as possible?

[Asker]

Probably

[Pudsmucker]

How long have you known him? Have you been friends since childhood? He may secretly likes you if he contacts you first.

[Asker]

7-8 years

[Pudsmucker]

Do you like him and he may like you more the just a friend.

[Asker]

I like him. I don't know if he does.

[Miristheiss]

It sounds like he is over this girl and doesn't have interest in her anymore.

[exitseven]

He is really in love with you abandoned doesn't know how to deal with it.

[LunarEclipse433]

I would say because you are hotter than his girlfriend

[Asker]

Read the whole. description of my question

[LunarEclipse433]

Again, I say because he thinks you are hotter than his girlfriend. Trust me on this

[HouseMoat]

Why does she let him have girl "friends", if you're so worried about it?

[Asker]

I've been friends with him for the last 8 years even before he met his current girlfriend. He used to like me. According to him, she happens to be very open minded

[HouseMoat]

Then why didn't he get with you then. He likely never liked you. Or he's using her, to make you jealous

[Asker]

I left him... I wasn't ready for a relationship back then

[HouseMoat]

You can't "leave" him, if you were only friends

[Asker]

We were kinda hanging out but then we just stayed friends and didn't take it to the next step

[HouseMoat]

Because noone MADE A MOVE

[Asker]

He did. I wasn't ready for it back then

[HouseMoat]

No, he didn't

[Asker]

Yes! He did. It's my situation not yours. Stop forcing your assumption into my situation

[HouseMoat]

No, he didn't!

[jshm2]

You're his wife-mommy, basically.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Beats me, his intentions don't seem pure tho

[LoverOfBooty23]

Hmmm message me about this

[Asker]

Why?

[LoverOfBooty23]

It was just an excuse to get you to message me

[Asker]

Didn't work

[LoverOfBooty23]

Clearly ha. Was worth a shot

[LoverOfBooty23]

He clearly still desires you though. Even if he has a girlfriend. I think his actions make that pretty clear and obvious

[LoverOfBooty23]

@crystalline0909 can’t fault him for not being able to get over you

[ThrillSeeker01]

Sounds like you're special to him.

[CubaPirate]

Because he's an asshole

[Jmmmfi4]

PROBABLY TRYING TO GET HIS DICK WET

[riverrat3]

Maybe you are his first choice

[Anonymous]

You are his crush.

[FenixG45]

Yup! He likes you!