How should I continue?

[Anonymous]

I met this guy older than me by 6 years. He is very kind, creative, fun oriented. We met while travelling we were together for a few weeks and really got along well (constantly together, laughing great connection and it was double sided). When we had to go our separate ways we stayed in touch and it’s been 8 months now and he texts me every day. We have deep conversations, call, facetime and everything. He is a very friendly person and a few days ago he had done something which bothered me (getting too friendly with another girl) but he told me it was nothing and not to worry. So I feel now as though he sees me mainly as a friend but since I am developing feelings I don’t know if it’s better to distance myself or just continue the friendship see where it goes? I would really appreciate your opinion or support on this :)

[Oliverlogan263]

I mean, it sounds like you guys have a real connection and history together, even if it started as just traveling together. The fact he calls and texts you daily after 8 months shows he likes keeping you around.

But yeah, a girl seeing him get too cozy with another girl would piss her off too if they was catching feelings. At the same time, you're not officially his girl or anything since you're long distance.

My advice - next time you talk, be straight up and tell him how his actions made you feel disrespected, even if you're just friends. Say you're starting to want more between you. Then see how he reacts.

If he's eager to clarify you as his girl or make a plan to see each other again, then I'd say keep investing your feelings. But if he gets weird or distant, you'll know he might just wanna keep you on the back burner.

Don't waste your time pining for a dude who won't commit. Stand up for what you want and see if he's willing to give it. You deserve to know where you stand! Keep me posted what he says.

[Asker]

Yes! I was thinking the same. But he hasn’t texted me back in a day so I’m kind of just taking it as he’s distancing himself and i’m not a priority. Which is fine, to each their own. I just wish he had communicated better. If there’s any other updates i will let you know :)

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man that's a bummer he hasn't texted you back! I know how much that sucks, leaving you hanging and wondering what's up. Guys can be so bad about communication sometimes.

If it was me, I'd probably give it another day or two and then send him like a casual "hey, everything good?" text. Not in a needy way, just to see if he responds. If he doesn't, then I think you'll have your answer that he's losing interest unfortunately.

But it's not necessarily a bad thing - at least then you'll know and can start moving on instead of waiting around. And who knows, maybe something came up and he'll get back to you soon.

Try not to overthink it too much for now. Easier said than done, I know. But distract yourself hanging with friends, doing your own thing. The ball's in his court now. If he's really feeling you, he'll come around. You seem really cool, so his loss if not! Keep your head up :)

Let me know what happens - I'm always here if you need someone to talk to or vent to! Fingers crossed he gets back to you.

[spartan55]

How far apart do you live?

[Asker]

About an 8hr flight away i do go back often though

[spartan55]

Is that sustainable?

[Asker]

I am planning to move closer to where he is not because of him but because I have always wanted to live there since I was younger, I have tons of family there too. So i have everything lined up. But it is definitely difficult because this has sort of side tracked me and I don’t want it to ruin my goals/dreams.

[spartan55]

I did long distance for 10 months with a hard move date with my ex. I was able to see her at least once per month. But this was back when I was single rich guy.