My crush asked me to be his friends with benefits ( friend with benefits)?

[Anonymous]

I told my crush that I like him and asked him to be friend but he says that he can’t be just friend with me because attracted to me sexually but he doesn't want a girlfriend then he asked me to be friends with benefits and I said no because I never did that before and I don't know how it works. Did i do the right thing? Also, is there any hope for us in future?

Updates

4 mo

The thing is that he is saying that he went through a bad breakup with his 2 years girlfriend recently and he is not ready for new one and he told me he will contact me when he is ready. But then he came back and said he likes me and he wants to have sex without boyfriend girlfriend thing.

[CalmUntilAbused]

Well... "Friends with benefits" is basically a rotten relationship where one side is likely to have more serious feelings for the other. I'm not sure about the "friends" part, but as far as I know, the "benefits" part is the key part of this kind of relationship, and I'm not sure whether there even has to be any friendliness besides those "benefits" (knowing what our reality is like, I say there doesn't have to be any).

Thus, You've done the right thing, but it's possible that it will cost You Your crush and a heartbreak (if You are truly serious about that guy).

[Asker]

Actually, I am really struggling because I love him. I think it needs time to heal and accept that. But I can’t do friends with benefits

[CalmUntilAbused]

And that's the spirit. Honestly, pain and suffering are so common in life one has to get used to them anyway. This one might heal quickly if You find someone more worthy (and honestly, just about anyone would be more worthy than someone who assumes "friends with benefits" is even anything close to a proper relationship).

[Asker]

Really appreciate your advice🙏🏻

[MrCommodore]

Him wanting you as "Friends with Benefits" actually means he wants to use you for regular sex until he meets someone who is girlfriend material.

He is your crush you say, meaning you actually like him, so don't waste years of life being a sex doll for him to use and later discard, then you watch him parade around with his girlfriend and your heartbroken.

[MrCommodore]

No hope in future either if you accept being friends with benefits, he doesn't see you as girlfriend material, yet your ok to help him get off. Move on, otherwise you'll be on here posting in 6 months from now at your frustration that he isn't falling for you.

[Asker]

The thing is that he is saying that he went through a bad breakup with his 2 years girlfriend recently and he is not ready for new one and he told me he will contact me when he is ready. But then he came back and said he likes me and he wants to have sex without boyfriend girlfriend thing.

[MrCommodore]

I don't buy that, I think he is bullshitting you.

[Asker]

I am thinking with my heart. It is really confusing to me why he asked me that I never gave him any indicator that my intention is sexual

[MrCommodore]

You probably haven't given him any indication of sexual intentions, that has been all him so far. Look ultimately you really like him and will try to justify getting involved with him as friends with benefits, but it most certainly will end in heartbreak. I don't mean to be hurtful.

[Asker]

I will never do that. I don't have to. I don't need to. Thanks for you. You have been very helpful not hurtful😊

[MrCommodore]

Cool. We'll you seem to be an intelligent person you have been cautious. I just see so many stories on here, even some stories this week of various girls getting messed about in friends with benefits scenarios. Like 2-3 years of it until the guy meets a girl that is girlfriend material. It's wrong, unnecessary.

[Asker]

👍🏻

[Hulk_kitty]

Him having a bad breakup is not your problem, He either wants to date you or not. Flaming cheeky to ask you, to be friends with benefits. What he should say to you, I am not ready for a new relationship any time soon, be we can be friends, or you can move on.
His troubled past, is not your problem.
I would even suggest you, move on from this. He doesn't sound a great guy to me. He is a red flag to me.

[Asker]

@Hulk_kitty Agree with what you said. Thanks

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Accept the fact that you’ll lose lots of wonderful people on your life road.

It will hurt.

But that’s your road and you’ve gotta keep on walking on it.

Someone who wants to walk there with you, will keep up with you, get you by his side and will let you know that he isn’t going to go anywhere without you.

If he doesn’t do that, keep going.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I seem to have answered the wrong question…

[NewMaybe]

Since you really like him, being friends with benefits with him could lead you to deeper pain and suffering. Some situations like this could turn into relationship, but it is very rare. My advice would be to save yourself and find someone who will turn the world around for you. Let them chase you.

[robhazelnut]

I think you did the correct thing. Such an intense physical connection without any devotion or commitment wiuld be very hard on the heart.

[robhazelnut]

If you see potential in him, I would condone your telling him of his error, forgiving him for it and telling him your standards for a romantic relationship so that he can decide whether or not to try to meet them.

[Asker]

Thanks for your advise

[Asker]

Advice*

[robhazelnut]

You're welcome, though rather than advice, I'd call it only what seems appropriate.

[Asker]

Agree👍🏻

[robhazelnut]

Acknowledged 🙂

[spartan55]

You made a good decision friends with benefits is rarely a good experience for girls.

[Anonymous]

Friends with benefits is for sluts. You did the right thing.

[LiamJHayden]

So he wants to use you as an object for his pleasure.

[Asker]

This is what it looks like

[Tharithi]

He’s a street walker