Do guys even care when they ghost you? What reason do guys ghost especially after a date?

[Anonymous]

Don’t you think he should at least say something…. I get he wants to avoid confrontation … but why not be upfront.

[spartan55]

Shall I remind you once again that you didn't want anything with this guy? Why are you just conveniently leaving that out?

[Asker]

Okay but I told him that I was willing to take things slow… I wanted to give it a go

[spartan55]

That's not what you said before.

[Asker]

Yes… I agreed to take it slow and he asked me “what does that entail?”

[spartan55]

You said you wanted to be a placeholder, just stop.

[Asker]

Okay but people can’t change?

[spartan55]

Maybe, but not with the same person...

[Asker]

I don’t understand what you’re saying

[spartan55]

You don't tell someone you want nothing and then change your mind... it doesn't work like that.

[Asker]

So why did we keep talking… why did he want to meet?

[spartan55]

Maybe give you a chance to redeem yourself in person. I'm not sure.

[Asker]

Yeah… I didn’t redeem myself… I was horrible … I didn’t talk much… I was awkward and agreed with him on everything.

When he asked me what I wanted at the cafe… I said “I’ll get what you get”

He ask me what I wanted… (relationship wise) …. He tells me what he wants.. when I tell him he said he feels like I’m copying what he’s saying.

He never blocked me.

[spartan55]

Were you copying him?

[Asker]

Maybe.. we’ll no I felt like we were on the same page

But what do I look like telling him …” I don’t have dating experience” “you’re my first date” “I’m a virgin” “I really don’t know what I want” “ I’m scared to will use me”…

[OlderAndWiser]

Ghosting is easier for the ghost. It's that simple: taking the easy way out!

[Danny_dan92]

We ghost the same reasons why girls do

[HateyouxD]

He's a coward

[Asker]

Would I be fair to say that I gave him a hard time during the talking stage … he put up with me a lot…

Or was he just manipulating me for sex…

[HateyouxD]

Could be both honestly...

[Asker]

I wish I could know which one… I felt like he genuinely wanted something in the beginning.

[HateyouxD]

Don't they all. I guess he changed his mind. Sorry
It's happened to me too

[Asker]

I think I saw him in the store with someone else….

My friend called him and he pretended he didn’t know me

[HateyouxD]

That sucks.

[Asker]

I just don’t understand what I did to her treated that bad…

I even told him in the beginning that I only wanted to be a placeholder until he found someone else… but no sex involved. Just chat…

But he was puzzled by that statement and asked why I would want to do that.. he said that he didn’t want that… he would end up liking me for nothing… he was going to stop talking to me…

I also asked him that I wanted to protect my emotional well being and he asked me what’s the safest way to interact with him…

I thought he was trying to make me feel safe

[HateyouxD]

It seems like he was but you self sabotage

[Asker]

But why ghost me?

[HateyouxD]

You might come off crazy

[HateyouxD]

Unstable...

[HateyouxD]

That's not how dating works

[Asker]

He said that I come off as unstable …. That’s why he wanted to meet

[Asker]

But how does that come off as crazy

[HateyouxD]

Because only crazy girls like to be used... strong minded women want something stable and open and honest and to not be a placeholder

[Asker]

… true.. I just have low self esteem

He prob just wanted to use me too.

[HateyouxD]

Yea or he wouldn't of ghosted😢

[Asker]

So you’re agreeing that he wanted to possibly still have sex with me?

On the meetup he said that he didn’t want to sleep with me bc he didn’t want me to be “crazier” he said my emotions would be higher than they already are…

[HateyouxD]

I think when a woman has sex she does tend to get "crazier"... for the guy. Does he just want to be friends? Can you be friends first with this guy?

[HateyouxD]

This is kind of confusing. I think he might be a bit genuine he does sound like he likes you cause he's avoiding sex with you and doesn't want to use you. But you acted unhinged and that's why he acted like he didn't know you I guess

[Asker]

It’s confusing to me too… there were signs on the date that he wasn’t interested.. he was a gentleman …. But him asking when was the last time I was intimate… and him saying something about the next guy I date… and he didn’t mention another date.

I just feel like I wasn’t acting like myself… didn’t really talk… he asked me numerous times what’s on my mind… I just couldn’t say it. I was nervous… but I just loved being in his presence.

I think him saying… I’m scared to sleep with you bc you might be crazy … just makes me feel like he was going to hit it and quit it.. he wasn’t trying to make me feel safe in the end…

But I’m a virgin

[HateyouxD]

Oh yea not many guys like virgins because of that very reason. Anyway a guy into you wouldn't talk about sex right away anyway...

[Asker]

Well he didn’t during our taking stage… he didn’t talk about sex at all. He was asking about my Job ect…

But I just kept asking him annoyingly if he just wanted sex with me…

Maybe he just didn’t find me attractive

[Asker]

What do you think happened here? I really want to let this go

[HateyouxD]

You got what you wanted lol you talked so much about sex he's wondering why are you so horny so maybe that's why he asked. I don't know too sure what happened. He could be embarrassed that's why he denied you about knowing you. You gotta move on.

[Asker]

I still like him … part of me feels like I messed things up. Idk… I regret everything.

[HateyouxD]

I understand but now you have to grow up and move on people don't communicate anymore

[Asker]

So are you saying I ruined things or was he just after sex?

[HateyouxD]

You definitely ruined things

[Asker]

But for him to ghost makes me think it was my face…

[HateyouxD]

Whatever it is... he ghosted. And if you went back to him he'll ghost again... and again... now I'm done for the night. I'm sorry this happened to you and I hope you heal

[Asker]

Appreciate it💖

[Asker]

Hey I came to a new revelation… he ghosted me bc he couldn’t sleep with me… he had no use for me… if it were genuine he would have kept me as a friend right?

[HateyouxD]

Yea he might just wanted to use you