Guys, Why do guys ghost?

Question

Multiple occasions I have been talking with a guy continuously over snap for days (10+). There was clear flirting, sonetines just faces, bitmoji/duo bitmoji use, and light conversation. Almost every time he's been the first one to start talking! They always seem to have so much interest and then they just stop replying? What's with that?

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

To ask this question is to admit that you don't understand men (or boys, as the case may be).

What are you looking for when you are "talking with a guy continuously over snap for days (10+)"? What is HE looking for? Are those answers the same? Almost certainly not.

YOU are most likely looking for either a FRIEND or a BOYFRIEND, right? The guys are absolutely NOT looking for a friend, and while some may be looking for a girlfriend (and even if they are, you aren't necessarily a good match, though sometimes you will be), virtually all of them are looking for SEX - or at least, the closest thing they can get to it (sexting, nudes) if they can't hook up with you in real life.

If you don't understand that, and grasp that guys are NOT *primarily* looking for a relationship, but rather PRIMARILY looking for casual sex (with a relationship as a secondary goal ONLY if he finds a girl he thinks is especially awesome and a good match for him), then it's better to not try to have online relationships with guys until you ARE able to accept this - because otherwise, you're just wasting your time and theirs.

These guys are ghosting you because, after investing 10+ days of time and effort, they aren't getting what they want from you... and there are dozens or hundreds or thousands of other girls out there, and some of them WILL give him what he wants.

To use a metaphor, he's "fishing" for sex or sex-related activity, and he may find a spot and fish in it for a while, but if all he gets are nibbles as the fish steal his bait but never bite the hook, it won't be too long before he tries fishing in another spot.

They have so much interest because THEY HOPE TO GET LAID, or at least some hot nudes to look at or hot sex chat to whack it to. Once they figure out that isn't gonna happen, they're history.

Guys who are looking for RELATIONSHIPS are mostly older, and mostly going to be found on PAID dating sites. Guys you talk to on SnapChat, or worse, on Tinder, only want to fuck. Have no illusions about that. Sex is the only reason they're making an effort to talk to girls the vast majority of the time.

You're far better off meeting someone in person and talking for a while, or on a paid dating site. Otherwise, the ONLY safe assumption to make is that the guys are looking for casual sex, and SOON.

SnapTsch · Accepted Answer

as MrOracle said, they are clearly fishing
plus
why attach your feeling to people over snapchat?
why aren't you out there with real people?
Don't do this to yourself and I'll tell you exactly why,
it's the internet, you can pretend to be the person that you aren't, guys who are just looking for some action do it day in and day out. You are just another girl for them to get their pipes cleaned, these guys will never show you any real affection because they simply don't care about you.
go for guys that are actually around you and care for you, those relationships/ friendships are more likely to be more fruitful and rewarding than thermae social media hookups

you are better than this, don't be just another fish at the lure, go for long term satisfaction and validation than temporary
hope I was able to help

lightning32 · Answer

it's the wrong guy likely with the wrong intention. maybe they feel you're to distant or too hard to get. sometimes they just look for the easy trashy girls. you're still young so the guys are (often, not always) immature and not looking for 10+ days of connection

AnilPilla · Answer

There's a thing with guys. It's in our flirting rules book.
Test #23: Make a lot of conversations initially. it's not an problem to break your ego and start the conversation. But when you feel like you got her attention. Stop there. Let's see if she's really interested in you.

This is a foolish rule though. But it worked many times.

IEat70sBush · Answer

He probably lost interest. Happens rather often, especially when you've never physically met in the real world (and sometimes still happens if she is a bad lay). A few weeks ago I was chatting to this hottie I met on Hot or Not (they really need to just name that site Would You Go Down On Me since that's the metric most actually use). She started the convo and sent me some pics and I sent her some of mine. Both liked what we saw and chatted for a few days, but when I realized she was 2000 miles away that basically put a bucket of water on our campfire and she ended up ghosted. I don't know of anyone worth the hassle of going that far just for a hookup, though a few virgin nerds have done so in the movies.

Diamondknight420 · Answer

Actually most guys do this and I find myself doing it a lot to, a lot of times we start talking to one person then another person will start talking to us then we'll just start talking to that person. It's strange and I don't know why we do it but if you message them back they'll normally start talking to you again, you just have to keep them busy :p and if they still won't text back then they're probably just dirtbags :D

Caaarl · Answer

I was bored and having negative feelings but I didn't know that at the time.

I think there's other reasons like depression can make you want to be completely alone.

However most of the time the guy just isn't interested and more or needs a break from you.

Anonymous · Answer

if there your age, thats why. Just young bucks, haven't matured yet. As they get older they'll see thats not cool

Schectis · Answer

depends a lot on the guy & how you met him? i'm completely new to this app but if you can message me with more details i might be able to explain it.

FemWorship · Answer

Cold feet Close to being found out as a fraud, a poser Ran out of things to say (low IQ) Found another hot prospect to bother

mi2precious · Answer

has to do with demand and supply on the internet. and the culture of how people date and choose people to talk too. may be it builds a habit of moving on quickly or keep searching for a new one

Words_and_Wisdom · Answer

"Almost every time he's been the first one to start talking! "

YOU NEVER PUT ANY INITIATIVE! YOU ALWAYS WAITED FOR HIM TO HIT YOU UP FIRST!

If it's not equal, the guy will disappear. He won't feel like you care as much as he does and he will drop. Christ, it's not rocket science. Put some initiative ladies!

JollyGiantGuy · Answer

Usually they get bored if they dont get what they are looking for in the girl. if they wanted nudes, they will ghost. even if they dont outright ask. or if they find someone they think will be easier

yourbigdaddy · Answer

it's either been too long and your bot flirting back or you're just *that* boring to even bother talking to. Harsh I know

musicmanXL · Answer

I've never done that, it's usually me that gets ghosted.

ThatOneBoringGuy · Answer

They loose interest I know that I'm a victim of doing this a few times in the recent past.

PrinceNeo · Answer

it's a mixture between trying to seem interested and not be annoying so we try to space out the conversation over a certain amount of time although timing is not exactly the best

ArïanSnemmel · Answer

Maybe try and push the convo beyond flirting and get a real topic, or ask him out if you're interested

Mclovin394 · Answer

because if you get even a hint that your gonna make a fool out of yourself like I always do you'll stop replying

Nargle · Answer

He either lost or never had interest or assumed you didn't.

Anonymous · Answer

They found someone else, or are busy with someone else... some guys stack up women.

riffraffsgv · Answer

not what he's lookin 4

Guys, Why do guys ghost?

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