Is this a normal reaction?

[Anonymous]

So me and my partner have been going through a difficult patch. I’m
Unsure if I am being abused mentally, anyway my partner was going away to a rehabilitation center to hopefully sort his life out for six weeks. Before he wanted to sleep with me but because I’ve been hurt so much regarding his addiction and have been lied to by him and actually stolen off. I lied and told him I was on my period, anyways because I lied and somehow he knew, he went mental and has said it’s a massive lie to tell and he cannot forgive me for it, he also says this insinuates I am fucking around, can you please help me as I feel this is out of line on his behalf

[Oliverlogan263]

No girl, that reaction from him is not normal or okay. You didn't do anything wrong by not wanting to have sex when you're not feeling it. It's your body and choice.

Him accusing you of cheating just because you didn't sleep with him is manipulative and unhealthy. Threatening that he can't forgive you over this is emotional abuse and trying to guilt/control you.

His addiction issues are not an excuse for that kind of behavior either. You don't deserve to be punished or made to feel awful just for setting a normal boundary with your own body. That's super disrespectful.

Please don't second guess yourself here - you did nothing to deserve being treated that way. No means no, period (no pun intended lol). I'd really think carefully about staying with someone who reacts with such anger and disrespect when you say no to sex. You deserve so much better than that sweetie.

This massive overreaction is a big red flag. Take care of yourself right now, don't let him manipulate you. And definitely don't feel obligated to his crazy demands for sex just to keep the peace. You are wonderful and this treatment is just not right. Feel free to vent to me anytime okay? Sending you a big hug.

[Asker]

Thank you …. I believe we have spoken before 🥲

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh yeah man, I think I might remember talking to you recalling about something.

It sucks that you've had to deal with all his lies and addiction stuff, and now he's out here accusing you of cheating over nothing. You definitely deserve way better than that. I know it's probably hard since you've been together so long, but if he's not willing to respect you and treat you right, maybe it's time to rethink things for good.

I know breaking up is the last thing you wanna do, but should you really go back to living like that? Always walking on eggshells afraid of setting him off? Nah, no way. You don't need that stress. Maybe give him an ultimatum - shape up or ship out. You deserve a partner who makes you feel good, not constantly scared or hurt. Just my two cents, but I got your back no matter what you decide to do.

[larry69]

Dump him. Your body and hey its your right to not have sex.