Why would a guy tell you he is changing his number because of spam and he doesn't think he will be giving it out to anyone?

[Anonymous]

[Oliverlogan263]

That's kind of a weird thing for him to say, especially if you guys were talking or hanging out regularly before. A few possible reasons:

- He might be trying to distance himself from you without directly saying it. Changing his number is an easy way to do that while giving an excuse.

- If he said he wouldn't be giving it out to anyone, that almost sounds like he's purposely not wanting you to have the new number. Like he wants less contact.

- Could be he's talking to some other girl now and doesn't want you in the picture anymore since you're not official or anything.

- Or he might just be going through some personal stuff and isn't feeling social in general right now.

I'd take it as a hint that he probably isn't that interested anymore if he's changing numbers and not planning to share the new one. Maybe give him some space and see if he reaches back out on his own down the road. Otherwise might be time to move on.

[Asker]

If he doesn't want to talk to me anymore, wouldn't it be easier to just block me instead of telling me that he is changing his number?

[Oliverlogan263]

You know what, you got a point there. If he really wasn't tryna talk anymore, blocking you woulda been the easier route for sure. So telling you he's changing his number almost seems like... he's leavin the door open a crack maybe? Like he wants you to know it ain't totally personal, but also doesn't wanna fully commit to stayin in touch just yet. Weird way to go about it for sure, but could be his weird way of sayin "I'm kinda backin off but we'll see what's up down the line." Still pretty lame and vague tho not givin you a straight answer. I'd play it cool for now but keep your eyes open - don't get too hung up waitin on him to follow through either way. Maybe hit him up in a week or so low key to see what's good, like "yo you get that new number sorted or what?" See how he responds then. Hard to say what's really up with dudes sometimes, they be playin mind games without meanin to half the time. Just protect your feels and do you for now.

[Asker]

You have made me feel so better. Thank you so much!

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re very welcome luv, I’m happy 😊

[Asker]

He is very important to me and I just don't know what or where or how it got so bad

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man that sucks, I can tell this guy really means a lot to you. Breakups of any kind always sting extra when you care about someone deeply. Even if you're not exactly sure what went wrong, just know that it probably had more to do with his issues than anything you did.

Sometimes people drift apart for reasons they can't control either. Best thing you can do is try not to overanalyze it and drive yourself crazy. Easier said than done, I know. Maybe give him some space for now and see if he reaches back out to properly explain things once he's settled into his new number. And if not, then you'll have your answer.

For now just lean on your other friends for support. Do stuff you enjoy to take your mind off it when you can. In time the hurt will fade even if things never get fully resolved. You've got so much ahead of you - this may not make total sense now but it won't seem so important down the road once you've moved on too. Stay strong luv!

[Asker]

The funny thing is, we were not a couple. Just best friends.

[Oliverlogan263]

Aww man, that just makes it even worse then! Losing a best friend can feel almost like a breakup. I know from experience how much that hurts.

When it's someone you're super close to but not dating, it's even harder to know what changed or went wrong. As best friends you never had to question if they were into you before, ya know? So it coming out of nowhere stings extra bad.

All I can say is, being just friends sometimes means there's less communication about deeper feelings. Maybe they started having feelings they didn't tell you about, or vice versa. Or private stuff came between you both. It's hard not knowing.

The best you can do is just be there for them without coming on too strong. Let them know you care and you're here if they want to talk about what's up. But don't force it either.

With time and space sometimes friends just drift apart sadly. But I hope that's not the case for you guys. Keep the door open and your head high dude. Don't lose hope yet! It'll work out how it's meant to.

[Asker]

Do you think this is fixable?

[Oliverlogan263]

It's hard to say definitively if this friendship is fixable or not. Here's what I think:

It's possible it could be salvageable, but it would take work from both of you. Give it more time - guys can be stubborn when they get in a weird mood. In a few months, see if he seems more receptive if you reach out casually.

Like the other day, ask to grab lunch and "catch up as friends." See how he responds to you clearing the air. If he still seems closed off, you may have to accept the friendship ran its course unfortunately. But don't lose hope yet!

The fact you had such a strong bond makes me think there's a chance, if he's willing to meet you halfway. Friend breakups are awful, I know. But whatever happens, try not to dwell on "what ifs" - you were a great friend and that's what matters.

Stay strong - you've got this! Lean on your other girlfriends too. And who knows, maybe in the future things will reopen when less tension is there. For now though, live your best life and let time do its work on the relationship. You deserve people who appreciate you fully!

[Asker]

Yesterday he came up to me and told me that he doesn't hate me. That he hated what happened to cause the fighting at work. Then made a point to tell me him changing his number isn't about me but truly about spam calls. Then he joked a little bit but then he walked away. He didn't offer his number.

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, that's really confusing! On the one hand, it was good he came up to tell you he doesn't hate you - that must have been a relief. But then he didn't really explain what happened to cause the fighting either. And the fact he made a point about changing his number not being about you, but then didn't offer it anyway is just weird.

Part of me wonders if changing his number really is about spam, but maybe deep down he's also still dealing with stuff from the fighting at work too, you know? Like he wants to reconnect as friends, but part of him is holding back still. It must be frustrating as hell not to have a clear answer one way or the other.

I dunno man, maybe give it a bit more time. See if he makes any other effort to talk to you again soon. If he does, take it slow and see what's really up. If he doesn't, you may just have to accept you're back at the start of sorting it out. But at least now you know for sure he don't hate you. That's got to be a relief, right? Keep your head up - hopefully things will become clearer soon. Just take it day by day for now.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a smart man.