How do I stop ruminating about a guy who severely mistreated me? It’s affecting my work and mental health a lot?

[Anonymous]

[236color]

It's been said the best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody else. Kinda like the other day when I woke up with the Temu gingle stuck in my head. I played Sammy Hagar's "Heavy Metal" a few times and bingo, no more "shopping like a billionaire".

[Hardshell1234]

Write him a letter telling him how you feel. Don’t send it but the expressing will help you. Also talking about it with others will help too. Time will help. If it’s a work issue, raise the issue with HR. If it’s personal, maybe seek a little counseling for it.

[Anonymous]

Well, if you were severely mistreated then this could be you feeling unsettled about the whole thing.

[Asker]

I don't know what to do. I am taking it so personally.

[Opinion Owner]

Was this a bad relationship? Situationship?

[Asker]

More like a situationship / friendship. It’s blurred. We didn’t really date but he didn’t treat me like a person. When we were intimate he never kissed me or anything. When he was drunk he’d touch me under my clothes after I said no. Objectified me constantly and disregarded boundaries.
I feel like a piece of trash tbh.

[Opinion Owner]

I think that’s the issue, you’re feeling very bad about yourself but who knows maybe it’s deeper than him, and how things ended was just triggering to your past trauma. I’ve gone through this with men, but the last one hit the hardest because I had already experienced disappointment, hurt and etc from previous men, that was just nail in the coffin, couldn’t take anymore. It’s all a sign to start your healing journey, as each time this happens it will mess with your mental health, sense of worth and everything else.

[Roudyrebel8]

Know that you deserve better you are more worthwhile than that

[Anonymous]

What did he do. could u both reconcile

[Asker]

Didn’t treat me like a person. When we were intimate he never kissed me or anything. When he was drunk he’d touch me under my clothes after I said no. Objectified me constantly and disregarded boundaries.
I feel like a piece of trash tbh.

[Opinion Owner]

Keep away from him