Why did he mention this to me? What was the point of this?

[Anonymous]

so my question is there is this man I've been knowing him for 8 months and I like him and he likes me. Today he told me about this woman he used to be in love with and he told me that he abandoned her because of what he was going through and he knew he was getting too close and was afraid. Why did he mention this to me? What was the point of this?

[Oliverlogan263]

It's kinda hard to say for sure what his point was telling you about that past relationship. A few possibilities though:

- He might have felt guilty about how things ended with her and wanted to get it off his chest. Guys don't always open up about feelings stuff.

- He could be trying to show you he's capable of love so you know he's serious about you. Like "hey I cared about someone before."

- It might have just come up randomly in conversation and he was being honest about his history. We all have a past, ya know?

- Could be testing the waters to see how you'd react. Like if you got jealous it would tell him something.

- Might be wanting reassurance that you won't abandon him like he did to her if things get tough.

Who knows for real though. Best thing is just talk to him - tell him you care about him but don't need all the details of past flings. As long as he's focused on you now that's all that matters. Maybe he'll open up more about why he told you. Dudes are mysterious creatures sometimes lol.

[Asker]

Well said thank you!

[Oliverlogan263]

My pleasure madamé

[spartan55]

Have you explicity told each other that you are interested?

[Asker]

Yes.

[spartan55]

Hmmm... well either he isn't being honest with his feelings towards you OR it was some stupid misguided attempt to make you jealous.

[Asker]

Oh okay.

[Likes2drive]

I guess to use as example for you indirectly

[Asker]

Example of what?

[Asker]

What is being indirect about?

[Likes2drive]

He’s telling you how he is and how he would be with you

[Asker]

But he said afterwards that he has overcome so much.

[Likes2drive]

Trying to show you how he is now I guess

[Asker]

Oh. Ok

[Asker]

But then he also said that if he never would have done that then he would have been with her right now instead of the one he used to be with.