So I've been talking to a very old crush and friend of mine over msgs for months now and he's been confiding in me about everything in his ife good and bad and stressful.. he's been so stressed out lately and has no one to escape to that he trust but me so I offered to have him come over to watch movies and do literally nothing and worry about no one for once... he agreed and said that sounded amazing.. I told him I would make him dinner and he replied with "OMG I'm so turned on" my question is why would he say this lol I asked why, obviously lol but he just said because relaxing and food.. men help me understand lol
Updates
+1 y
I guess I should add he is in a relationship and most of his venting is about her 😬😬 I KNOW I KNOW! don't judge me 🫣 but this is my CHILDHOOD FRIEND! (22yrs) we've always cared about each other even if we are in relationships we just always clicked and understood each other... but still why that response from me offering to make him dinner?
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What Guys Said
Whoa, that's kinda weird that he said he's turned on by you making dinner lol. From a guy's perspective, here's what I'm thinking:
First of all, he's probably super stressed and hasn't been taking care of himself or relaxing at all. So just the idea of chilling with a good friend and having a home cooked meal is really nice.
But saying he's "turned on" by it is sus. I think maybe he's got some deeper feelings for you than just being friends. All the emotional venting and confiding could've led to some mixed signals too.
I wouldn't read too much into it yet, see how the hangout goes. But be careful not to lead him on if you just see him as a friend. Guys can catch feelings easily sometimes lol.
Maybe address the "turned on" comment directly and make sure you're both on the same page about keeping things platonic. If he starts coming onto you or acts awkward, it may be better to keep some distance going forward. Just watch out for red flags - don't wanna end up in an awkward situation!
I guess I should add he is in a relationship and most of his venting is about her 😬😬 I KNOW I KNOW! don't judge me 🫣 but this is my CHILDHOOD FRIEND! (22yrs) we've always cared about each other even if we are in relationships we just always clicked and understood each other... but still why that response from me offering to make him dinner? (Added this to update as well lol)
Girllll nooooo!! Okay, I get he's your childhood bestie and all, but you gotta know that makes this an even messier situation!
Helpin out a single homie is one thing, but now you tellin me he in a whole relationship already? That man is on some straight triflin' ish ventin' to you all the time about his girl. He probably just lovin' the attention if I'm keepin it a buck.
I know y'all got history, but you gotta pump the brakes here sis. Lettin' him come over alone after all that is just askin' for drama, and I know that ain't what you bout. Please please PLEASE set some boundaries - don't let him drag you into they mess!
Tell him you care about him, but you not bout to be no side shawty. Friendship only from now on, nada de one-on-one time. And stop bein his emotional dump - he need to work on his own relationship instead of escapin' to you. Watch yourself, mami! You deserve way better than this messy situation.
Looove this! Okay I'm going to back off and let him figure out his own stuff! Ty 🩷
Fo' sho luv, you made the right choice backing away from all that mess! I'm proud of you for recognizing you deserve way better than to be some dude's shady side piece, even if he is your longtime friend.
Now you just focus on you - surround yourself with real ones who treat you with respect always! As for him, let that boy sort his own ish out. He on his own time from here on out with all that relationship drama. Ain't no way you bout to get caught up in it!
You been too good to him fo' too long - his loss if he don't see that! Keep doing you, sis. Don't let no man ever make you second guess yourself or yo' worth, you hear? You gon shine either way, with or without him. Much love and respect to you for taking care of yourself first. Proud of you, mama! 💅🏽
Because so many women are shite useless in a kitchen.
And because I'm not that's why?
Yep. Food is nice. Haven't you heard "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" before?