New boyfriend told me to go f myself, but he may have been drinking... do I dump him?

[SalisaSD]

We have only been dating a little while, but boyfriend was upset with me over texts because I was depressed about my day. He said I bring him down. So I sarcastically said thanks for making me feel better (he didn't) and then he called me a selfish a and told me to go f myself. This seemed uncalled for in the moment, nobody has ever said that to me before. But he does seem to drink at night and get nasty sometimes. What do I do?

[teamvic]

Being drunk only makes you say or do what you've really wanted

I feel it also take away your awareness of consequences and care

If you ask me that relationship is already showing some bad signs of you being really unhappy

Typically in these types of scenarios the girl gets verbally abused, because they're expressing how they feel. The guy, in this case doesn't want to hear it and in result. Makes the girl, you, not want to speak about stuff like that anymore because it causes arguments

If you ask me leave him. He's already talking shit to you keep in mind in a fairly new relationship, and he doesn't seem to give a fuck about your feelings

Let me ask you this, do you think this is only a one time thing? Do you think it'll get any better than this?🤔

I say you leave. No one should be telling their significant other that, in a serious matter anyway

If you're joking, okay then fine. But he wasn't

[SalisaSD]

I needed to hear this, thank you. No I don't think it will get better and I don't think he cares about my feelings. Appreciate your help very much!

[teamvic]

you're very welcome😌 good luckkk

[MrOracle]

How about dumping him and finding a guy with better morals and values, who doesn't drink and night and get mean? You DO know that drinking isn't universal, right? And you'd probably be happier in general with a man who is happy to share his life with you.

Yes, I know that such a man might not be as good looking, or might not make as much money, or whatever, but what REALLY matters in a relationship?

[SalisaSD]

I agree, that is truly what I want. I didn't know he was this way in the beginning. I don't drink at all. I thought he was different. Appreciate your response :)

[MrOracle]

Most women don't like to hear this, but if you think about it honestly, you'll agree that what matters in the long term is your man's morals, values, and life-goals. No matter how hot he is, no matter how much money he makes, no matter how high his status is, if those things aren't in alignment with yours, the relationship will not survive. The looks, money, and status won't be enough to overcome those problems.

It's also naïve and unrealistic to expect that you're going to find a man who has it all - hot looks, great income, high status, AND the morals, values, and life-goals that you're looking for. That's like winning billion dollar Lotto jackpots back-to-back - it may technically not be impossible, but it's SO incredibly unlikely that you should behave as if it IS impossible. You will likely have to lower your standards for looks, status, and income a few notches in order to get a guy who has the morals, values, and life-goals you need to have a sustainable relationship.

[MrOracle]

Anyway, going forward, I strongly recommend that you take time getting to know a guy and actively vet his morals, values, and life-goals, and make sure you have long-term compatibility BEFORE you commit. Accept that you will get to know men you really like and find really attractive who you will have to eliminate, or who will get frustrated by the vetting process. That's part of the process, and even though it sucks in the moment, it just means the process it doing its job. If you do this, your ultimate outcome has a FAR better chance of being successful.

[SalisaSD]

Appreciate your advice, thank you!

[RavVid]

There are happy drunks, morose drunks and nasty drunks. Stay away from nasty drunks.

Dump him for that rather than what he said. After 'a little while' he has shown his colors.

[spartan55]

Leave and avoid being abused, or stay and get abused

[Avicenna]

If it was said when he was drunk, you shouldn't dump him

[slatyb]

Dump him. He's a nasty alcoholic.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

Yep, clearly he's an asshole

[Anonymous]

People are more honest when their drunk