A guy sexually assaulted me as a child. He was a few years older only. He now as a adult continues to make me uncomfortable. I'm scared , what to do?

[Anonymous]

He walks in on me when I'm alone , calls me nicknames. He even recently tried to hug me and i froze. He's said something weird once too. He's v close to my family so I have to meet quite a few times a year. Honestly even the touching that he did to me and all , I had to stop it myself by threatening and then yelling for my mom so he didn't stop on his own accord. He just knew that I'd started getting the idea that what he was doing was wrong. I'm scared be might r@pe me.

[_Maya_]

How does he walk in on you? If you live with family then who is this guy and why do they let him around you? If you live on your own then how is he getting in your place. First start by locking the doors. The next thing you do is get a restraining order. Write down everything including past behavior and what is going on now. Call the police the next time he does something like what you have mentioned. That will build a case for you to get a restraining order where he will have to stay a certain distance away from you or risk going to jail. That is exactly what I would be doing if it were me.

[Asker]

Hi so he's basically a relative and all of my relatives usually meet up at my grandmother's place every two weeks. He doesn't show up every time but he comes quite a few times a year. I usually do my best to avoid him but it's esp hard when the entire family is sitting together and they ask me why I'm leaving or I'm working in my room at that house and he comes in. Me and him both have rooms in that house as I used to have sleepovers there

[_Maya_]

Does your family know about the past abuse?

[Asker]

Nope they don't. I recently told my mom and his family's moved for a while. I mean I guess I should be relieved but we might go visit them esp for his wedding and uk it's a diff country where I won't know half the people and I just feel really scared.

[_Maya_]

If you are that scared for your own safety you need to tell your family why. They would certainly then understand why you would not want to go or be around him. If you aren't comfortable telling them the whole story you can say that he has acted inappropriately in the past and leave it at that. That isn't what I would do but it sounds like while you genuinely are scared you also don't want to make trouble within the family.

[jahaims]

You are an adult with free will. You don't have to be around your abuser and you definitely don't have to go to his wedding.

[sheikalana]

He knows he makes you uncomfortable that's why he tries to get close to you. I would tell my Mom and tell her I don't want to be anywhere near him and if possible I'd like to avoid any family events where he's going to be at.

[dudeinohio]

You leave. You are an adult. You aren't legally required to listen to your parents. You disassociate yourself from him and them.

[jahaims]

Why spend time with someone who sexually assaulted you?

[dustybiker2]

Do not allow yourself to be alone with this person.

[Anonymous]

Remove him from the gene pool

[war_daddy]

call the police