Mixed Signals!! ASAP what should ya girl do?

[Anonymous]

So me and my baby daddy have been messing around I guess you could say for a while. I always thought I was just something of a convenience to him but then he tells me he’s been thinking about us getting together. Is he just saying this so I’ll stay around or is what he actually says true. He said he’s willing to try but is it worth it it’s been 8 years almost?

[SallyTho87]

8 years, together, and just NOW he claims he is ready to commit? GIRL, fk that.

I spent 8 years with a man. We planned marriage together, had the same values, traditions of the relationship, etc. He confirmed many times he needed to "work on himself for a while" before he was ready to commit to engagement or marriage.
He then lead me on, making me believe he was infact working on himself, getting his sh1t together, when in reality he was drinking, getting high, abusing drugs, getting suspended from work due to his own actions, and disrespecting the relationship we had by allowing his family to have a say in everything involved in the relationship.

This relationship ended, i wasted 8 YEARS of my life waiting for this man to actually get his act together, and despite his words, promises, he did NOT. PLEASEEEEE dont be fooled by words. Actions show true meaning, and if your man, after 8 YEARS cannot see what a catch he has, or has had all along, its not worth your time to give him anymore of your commitment.

He absolutely is saying this to keep you hanging on, and keep you around. He clearly enjoys what you bring, maybe its the way you treat him, or how you love him, or the what you bring to his life. Whatever the reason, he is likely only saying this so you'll stay, and hang onto this hope, even after waiting 8 years, that one day you two will end up together.
He is leading you on with false hope, and unfortunately for you its likely he is content with what he has now, and the situation you both are in. No sense changing anything if you agree to stick around. He WILL NOT change hun.

You can do soo much better. It doesn't take ANYONE 8 years to know if you are someone special that they want to keep you in their lives or not.

[Asker]

Thank you I really needed that

[D_Bonez_nutt]

Fucking A, I think you're on point. Got my like.

[SallyTho87]

You're so welcome <3 Hope you're okay!

[SallyTho87]

@D_Bonez_nutt Thank you!

[Asker]

I am okay I just don’t wanna put most the blame on him bc I’ve never brought up us being together til recently like I just laid everything out ya know

[D_Bonez_nutt]

8 years... and you had a child with him. So, now he wants to settle down and "try?"

I'm going to be honest. I bet he's just hit a rough patch lately. A pussy drought, maybe money problems. I don't know what it is, but I think there is a reason... I just can't see what that reason is.

You obviously seem to want this. So what is it that's been keeping him from wanting it as well? I guess I'm asking why didn't this become a thing already?

I'm also trying to point out that once his circumstances get good again... it's just going to go back to the way it was. You know that right?

[Asker]

Our entire relationship before has been casual we’ve been messing with other people and we had just recently talked about getting serious. It’s not like I’m fucking him everyday maybe once a week if at all.

[D_Bonez_nutt]

That's what I was thinking was happening. I guess I would call it a really loose tie or relationship. Room for other people or things basically. But I really think you want this to be more. My question is why all of a sudden is he bringing it into a place where that is a consideration? That's the question I would strongly push you to ask yourself... what's changed?

What has changed? Yeah there is a small chance you changed something, but as a betting woman, I bet it was his situation that's changed and you haven't changed a damn thing. I would bet you've been there the whole time just like you are now and then something changed for him.

Am I right? ... or am I just being a dumb bitch?

[Asker]

No and that was really aggressive I only just recently brought it up bc I’d never really been one for relationships but I just wondered id it was worth a try. His situation hasn’t changed I’ve told him if he doesn’t wanna do that he’s free to do whatever I have no problem with it.

[D_Bonez_nutt]

Sorry about being so aggressive. It's hard to calm my tits in a situation like that. I hope you make the right choices because there is a child watching this all go down.

I'm going to STFU and go away now.

[MsProsperity]

He’s going to find someone and marry her within a year, that’s how evil men can be