My boyfriend used to be a big drug dealer and a player.

[Jayy210]

OK so my boyfriend used to be a big drug dealer and a player. He used to f*** girls and then leave. But when he met me I guess I changed him. Even his family said so like before he we would never bring a girl around his family, I'm the first and now he always wants to hangout with them. We are in love but recently I've been wondering if he could ever love me after all the girls he's been with, what do think?

Updates

+1 y

And whenever we go out I watch him, I NEVER see him look at other girls so like maybe that's a good thing?

Updates

+1 y

Also it kinda bothers me that he f***ed his best friend should I worry?

[MrOracle]

Is it *possible* that he's *really* changed? Yes.

Is it *likely* that he's really changed? Probably not.

Change can and does happen, but only if that person wants to change. No one else can make a person want to change, much less actually change. And change is hard; it is much easier to fall back on your old habits than to make and maintain a change.

But, there are plenty of examples of people who do so successfully, whether it is quitting smoking, losing weight, or leaving the life of a drug dealer. So it is possible.

We don't know enough information about THIS guy. You give some postive signs, but you also need to be cautious and pay attention, because once the euphoria of a new relationship wears off and he starts to be comfortable, there's a high risk of him reverting back to his old ways.

As far as how he feels about you? The past really doesn't matter. Many guys, especially "players", can have a ton of sex with a ton of girls and not care about any of them other than they were attractive and, at least for a night, were fun. He may have genuine feelings for you, but they may also be immature or idealistic feelings, since he probably has little experience with real emotions and real relationships. Again, we don't have enough information to make a call one way or the other.

So, again, you need to pay attention and be cautiously optimistic. But if he starts doing things that YOU know aren't right, do NOT let your feelings for him allow you to ignore or "okay" those things. Guys with his background are good at sucking good, naive girls in, and then slowly integrating them into their old lives. Don't let that happen.

[Jayy210]

Thankyou so much!

[Belgie]

Until he gives you something to worry about, no.

Show him some level of trust. The worst thing you could do would be to start going through his pockets, his emails, his phone, etc.. looking for evidence. You'll invariably get caught, and then it makes you look like the bad guy for not trusting him.

So trust him. Keep your eyes open though. And if he ever does cheat, walk away.

[The_Supid_Genius]

Of course he can. When a guy loves a girl enough to change for her...the other girls don't matter.

There is the capacity for old habits to return if he falls out of love. Until you see such signs have some faith in him.

[Jayy210]

Thanks:)

[The_Supid_Genius]

Update:

It's a good sign. Good luck to you both :)

[Jayy210]

Thanks:)

[Anonymous]

oh you're one of those girls who thinks you can change a guy?

you can take the monkey out of the jungle, but you'll never take the jungle out of the monkey

[Jayy210]

Oh I don't think I can change hi, I don't believe people change just like that, that's why I'm asking\:

[Opinion Owner]

he won't be changed.. maybe for a while but not for long