My boyfriend is on methadone.

[Anonymous]

he has been on methadone for a while now, and used to be addicted to heroin. he has no sex drive and if I do manage to make him hard, he looses it quickly. we have sex less than once a week and he doesn't look at p*rn or masturbate at all. it makes me feel like crap about myself because I don't feel like I'm sexually attractive to him and its my fault I can't keep him/get him hard. I know its the methadone but I can't help but feel that way.

is there anything I can do besides support him? like is there anything I can do to increase his sex drive? I feel so alone& unattractive though he swears he's attracted to me. he says he just has no energy or will to do it. I try and support him and I try not to put pressure on him but I get so frustrated. so what can I do to make a change? please help!

Updates

+1 y

he is really sweet and I haven't met one person who had a bad thing to say about him. he is very affectionate and thoughtful and even my most judgmental family memebers like him. I trust him so please no comments about how he's a bad person.

Updates

+1 y

i just want to fix this problem because its the only flaw in our relationship

Updates

+1 y

thanks everyone for the answers. we ended up breaking up because he replaced heroine with alcohol, marijuana, and cigarettes, and when I realized he couldn't go one night without a 6pack of beer, and smoked cigs in my room while I was sleeping(when I told him he can't smoke in the house), I realized that dispite overcomming his *heroine* addiction, he really was just a loser overall. what also pushed me to the conclusion was seeing his activity on a certain dating site.

[Undoubtable]

You obviously care for him. And it sounds like he's trying to kick the habit. I personally never trust drug addicts, and in your shoes I would stay away from him. But I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, you must get enough warnings from other people.

What I think is that you should take his word for it that he finds you attractive. You even said it yourself, you believe him, but you can't help but feeling unattractive when he doesn't respond to you. The thing is, he's a recovering addict. He probably feels ashamed for being addicted, for one thing. The other things is, kicking habits wreaks havoc on your mind and your body. Until it's reasonably sorted out, sex isn't gonna be a priority, might not even be in the top five.

What you can do is let him know you're proud of him and that you support him. Find other ways to be intimate together. Also, if being sexually attractive is a huge part of your self esteem, you need to work on that too, and get a grip, because that's a whole issue by itself, and it really shouldn't be for a young girl like you. This will take time, just so you know it, and you two should communicate about it. But it's not the biggest deal in the world, helping him through this is. Like I said, tell him you're proud of him for what he's doing.

Anyway, that's all I have, I hope some of it helps you. Cheers.

[Bvroon]

It sounds like you really care about him, and while I know it's tough, I'm sure he very much loves you, and it's really just the Methadone not you at all. Something you might want to keep in mind is that for any sort of medication that is administered to modify behavior, (anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds, mood stabilizers etc.,) they all have a similar effect, in that if someone was very extreme in their moods and or behaviors, it is intended to level them out, and facing the facts how often have you been turned on and felt level at the same time? As you indicated before, you have been able to get him aroused before, but it doesn't last long, because of the medication, it's hard to get things going because the meds prevent it. I'm certain you are a beautiful young lady and that as he is able to wean off of the Methadone, he will be able to once again show you the way you are more accustom to. Hang in there it will get better.

[sunnistar11]

well as a lifer on methadone. just think he will never cheat and he is alive. so your blessed. tell him at least he could satisy you other ways. yes orally. you are not wrong tell him how you feel. and methadone does not prevent him to orally or finger or a toy way. there is more going on how old is he? get him viagra. dont let him sleep his life away and keep blaming methadone im 66 been on methadone since 87. i had sex. i have a lot of knowledge its not all methadone s fault. how about a date night some fantasy. play he lost his MOJO, I will help you , with it. herion he should not want sex you have to talk. no lies. has he ever been unfaithful. maybe he is depressed. im sorry i know how your feeling.

[DirtyDlish]

Just don't go all tough love on him Be nice. He is not trash don't through him aaway like trash . Baby I know its hard but he can break this I know

[Anonymous]

Girls love bad boys because they haven't matured and don't yet want a man. Why do girls have to be so freaking stupid and encourage guys to be jerks that won't ever make them happy. LEAVE HIM

[Asker]

ive never encouraged him to be a jerk. I wasn't with him when he was on drugs. I don't understand where you got this answer from.

[zany1234]

... Leave his drug addicted ass and find yourself an alcoholic.

[8string]

I used to have the same problem on methadone but tell him he needs to get in the gym and work out and watch porn even if he doesn't feel like it. just make him go, go with him If you have to and watch porn too. trust me just do it. It works.

[ItalianBro]

"... Leave his drug addicted ass and make something of yourself."

[TheGoodTheBadTheHOT]

... Leave his drug addicted ass and make something of yourself.

[TheGoodTheBadTheHOT]

@update: good girl.

Shame it took 9 months.

[greenout420]

uhm ... nothing you can do about it sorry just gunna have to ride it out I guess if you love him you will wait

[snackeyg]

Find someone that's not a druggie?

[snackeyg]

See based on the update that's different. He's a good person so get him in rehab.

[Asker]

hes on methadone. methadone helps people get off opiates like heroin.

[snackeyg]

Ok. Was he supposed to be off it by now? It sounds like he just found a weaker, less deadly heroin to have fun with.

[Asker]

no he's meant to be on it for another year. you should check your facts on these things before you comment, methadone doesn't make you high it kills the high from opiates so even if he did heroin again he wouldn't feel it.

[snackeyg]

You posted the question. You explain what Methadone is. I'm not gonna go look up a bunch of sh*t. If you didn't notice I'm trying to be helpful. I could have stuck with my original answer and not said anything else.

[Asker]

if you don't understand what something is then don't comment. if you want to comment and don't know what it is look it up. if you don't feel like looking it up then ask what it is instead of adding comments that don't make any sense. thank you anyway I appreciate your input

[snackeyg]

Fine then. I was just trying to be nice. Then you threw on bitch mode because I don't know what Methadone does exactly.

[Asker]

if you didn't know what it was why did you assume instead of asking or looking it up? I turn on bitch mode when people start off on jackass mode

[snackeyg]

I was never on jackass mode. Have fun trying to help him. I'm sure everyone you talk to is a huge genius on methadone.

[Asker]

my definition of jackass is people who throw in their 2cents when they have no idea what they are talking about and have no sense to ask. anyway, I obviously don't have many people who know a lot about it which is why I came on here to ask.