Why would a guy not have the courage to tell a girl how they feel?

Question

blueonblack22 · Accepted Answer

Well it used to be already very difficult given:

The guy might not know if the girl is taken: Some women “hide” this in early conversation because if they mention husband/boyfriend then the attention will cease.

I chatted up a young woman 4-5 conversations at a local CF gym I went to 2 years ago. She never mentioned the word “my bf” in any of our conversations (I was listening for it). One day I gathered my courage to ask her to get breakfast. She smiled but said she had a boyfriend. I was “oh so sorry I didn’t know” (I am about 10+ years older and I didn’t want to look creepy). But the smile she gave me showed she liked the attention.

She could easily casually brought up she had boyfriend in our earlier conversations. That would of spared me that awkward embarrassing moment. There is a way women can do that without being defensive. But she didn’t. She either liked the attention and/or was confident that I would be okay with the friendzone (I’m wasn’t).

Women are supposed to have good intuition if the guy is interested. Older guys know this and having to “tell” a girl he’s interested is pointing out the obvious in a way. She can see it in his body language, tone of voice, the way he looks at her, etc. Women are supposed to be better at recognizing body language. Asking a girl on a date is really a more smooth way to go about it.

Men are paranoid about getting rudely rejected and/or publicly humiliated. If the guy is respectful the chances of this are very low. But many guys have had this horrible experience in their youth at some point. It’s not an easy to forget that experience for some guys.

And now we are living in a post #metoo society: Yes this whole ass backward movement was started and propagated by Down syndrome radical feminists. It started off with the right intentions (calling out SA). But then it quickly got extended to anything that made a woman feel “uncomfortable” including regret. I also know most women aren’t that bad. But the guy has no idea if you are like that or not if he makes a move.

So there you have it. Women could do a better job at giving more direct signals. If they know the guy likes them and they like them back they could at least smile and say hello. If they are not interested then ignore the guy and if he brings up the obvious say “I respect your courage. I really do. But out of respect I have to be honest. I just don’t feel that way”.

When women respectfully reject men it goes further then they think. He might not thank you but he will be thankful.

Static_In_The_Attic · Accepted Answer

Anything is possible especially nowadays & when it comes to some guys the fear of rejection could stop some & others could simply be nervous or shy or get really bad anxiety thinking about it.

In life I always say if you never try you will never know & as for me I rather try & fail rather than not try at all.

If you like someone you shouldn’t be afraid to tell them.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

1. The girl is difficult. 2. The guy is shy. 3. The girl is always surrounded by other guys/friends. 4. The guy is always surrounded by other girls/friends. A longer list along these lines…

dustybiker2 · Accepted Answer

Men can feel hurt too. When hurt enough it makes them think twice before sharing.

TheRealPepperPotts · Answer

I think it's because there is a lot of shame surrounding rejection for a guy. It's not that a girl rejects his suggestion, it's that she rejects him. His personality, his appearance, his insights, his career, his sexual prowess... everything is connected in that attempt. I'd guess it's probably the one area in a guy that is not a box, because it is so deeply correlated with his identity. It's like a single thread that connects all the boxes has an electric current shot through it. He takes a risk on a hope that that particular girl might see him for who he really is and accept that. When she doesn't, it's very hard to deal with because he just opened up his most vulnerable area, and it wasn't the right person. I would imagine it's much easier for an older guy who's been hurt a lot to lock down the thread and isolate the effects, but the damage from a lifelong pattern of that would be pretty devastating.

That's the way I think of it, but I'm not a guy, so correct me if I'm off base here, gentlemen.

Anpu23 · Answer

I spoke a bit about the way men can be rejected here:   it can go very wrong. And there is no going back, especially if she doesn't like you at all. How many "ew no..." can a guy take before "it's never mind?"

KrisKris81 · Answer

We have all experienced a woman, or other male, who immediately turned against us after we showed the slightest vulnerability. Either that or the dynamic of the relationship changed irrevocably. I'm not harping on women here, I know it goes both ways, but with this particular issue it's not necessarily about courage, it's also about previous experience.

Loner111 · Answer

Different reasons...

Such as being labeled creepy, desperate, scaring her off because because he comes across as too strong too fast.

Different reasons. women have made it really hard for a man to pursue, express their love, to chase.

EmisElite · Answer

I was going to speak on this but the women's opinion in this post says it all. With that said, hey men, women are spying on us and they know our secrets. So which of you men have been snitching and leaking our secrets.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Because it only takes a couple of tries to realize how intensely unpleasant so many women can be when they find out you have feelings for them. ESPECIALLY if she doesn't quite feel the same way.

It's like a switch gets hit.

Lionman95 · Answer

He may not know how or fears that she later mocks him. Other guys are just shy and want to ask out a girl in a perfect way not knowing what that's like.

sgsantos313 · Answer

Fear of rejection

She has a boyfriend/husband and he respects that

Perceived missmatch in expectations (guy is in casual stage and finds a girl looking to date more intentionally hot but doesn’t act because he isn’t ready to give her that.)

Sharkstealth · Answer

That's hard. Women tend to make very rash and harsh decisions. Who knows what they heard from friends or off the internet? Seems like anything a guy says now about what they want or feel is an instant red flag.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

I often feel horny. I can't run around and tell everyone if I want to get other things done. It's not so much about ''courage''... practical thinking, rather.

madpete1111 · Answer

Fear she doesn't reciprocate. Duh. Reverse the roles

Unit1 · Answer

Getting shamed and embarrassed and stuff.

LaurenM1997 · Answer

Cause some of them are like that they fear rejection and are scared

Booklover_90 · Answer

Rejection and the fear of being (falsely) accused of sexual harassment.

pinconon · Answer

guys have had their feelings used against them so he might be hesitant

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe same reason women don’t have the courage to tell men how they feel.

Makeushiver · Answer

Because guys are cowards esp. when the subject is emotions

SotiCoto · Answer

Because maybe he doesn't want to deal with being publicly ridiculed for it.

FuqUFggt · Answer

Because there is no benefit. Girls don't care about what you feel. Girls don't feel. Feel is a male thing and it's stupid

Anonymous · Answer

Seriously? Women almost never have the courage to do the same.

wiltingrosepetal · Answer

Starts with R and rhymes with injection

spartan55 · Answer

How do you know how he feels?

laly520 · Answer

maybe fear of being rejected or mocked

Bricealan · Answer

That involves a commitment

elizamichale1 · Answer

Coz of fear of rejection

BarryLiverstone · Answer

She might not feel the same way

Anonymous · Answer

Is this about you?

grega239 · Answer

Because women weaponize it against the man

ellefia · Answer

He may be afraid of rejection

MikeyPH85 · Answer

Afraid of a negative response!!!

DreamLife7 · Answer

BRUH HE doesn't FUCKING LIKE YOU ARE U SLOW? WTF

Anonymous · Answer

MeToo statutes and the firing squad

Anonymous · Answer

He does like her for the right reasons?

Marred0710 · Answer

Scared of rejection

leahzrc · Answer

fear of rejection

sheikalana · Answer

Fear of rejection.

Why would a guy not have the courage to tell a girl how they feel?

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