Why does the guy I’m dating want to lose weight?

[Anonymous]

He mentioned to me several times that he used to be 10kg lighter and that he would like to lose a few pounds to get back to his ideal physique. I feel like he tells me that in order to motivate me to do the same. Am I reading too much into it? I told him several times that he looks fine as he is but he still has complexes about his looks.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm it's hard to say for sure why he's bringing that up, but a few thoughts:

- Some guys are really focused on their physique and weight even if they look good already. It could just be his own insecurity or desire to look a certain way, not about pushing you.

- He might worry you'll lose interest if he gains weight as the relationship progresses. Bringing it up first is like a preemptive thing so you know it's something he cares about.

- On the other hand, constantly mentioning it could be a subtle way to get you thinking about dieting too without directly saying it. Like low-key planting the idea.

- Or maybe he's hinting he'd like couple's workouts/meals as quality time and shared goal support.

I'd just keep reassuring him that you think he looks great as is, and watch to see if he starts policing your eating too much. Then it may be more about controlling your body than just his goals. Stress your attraction is about more than just weight. Go with your gut - if it bugs you, have an honest chat!

[Anonymous]

Maybe he feels like he has to lose weight to be with you.

[spartan55]

Yep, everything is about you.

[Anonymous]

Both of your heights? Weights?

[Asker]

We’re both normal weight for our height

[Opinion Owner]

Then maybe he wants to look tall and skinny. Why do u feel attacked

[Asker]

I think it’s weird that he so desperately wants to lose weight because 1. he is a guy and 2. he looks good so I feel like he wants me to lose weight

[Opinion Owner]

Ughhhh. Wdym he’s a guy? Does he have abs