Why won't my boyfriend let me lose weight?

[Anonymous]

please explain to me why won't my boyfriend let me lose weight when we first started dating 7 years ago I was 30 pound lighter what's his deal he "says" he doesn't find skinner attractive as much I find that every hard to believe from any guy please guys help me out

[Cryostatic]

Look, my girlfriend's gained 25 lbs since we met. She's devastated by this. I couldn't care less. Have I noticed her weight increase? Of course I have. I see all of her flaws, I just don't care about them. I hope that she, in turn, overlooks my own flaws. I don't love her any less, and I'm not any less attracted to her sexually.

This being said, she feels gross and ugly, and my opinion seems to bear very little weight. When I tell he she's beautiful, she tells me that I'm lying, blind or crazy. Kind of hurts my feelings a little, I'd hope that my opinion in that matter would count at least to some extent, but it apparently doesn't.

And it does affect her. She's not as outgoing as she used to be, and she's less interested in having sex. She rarely initiates it anymore, and it's because she feels ugly. That being the case, I'm resolved to help her meet whatever goal she sets for herself. Because I want her to be happy.

Chances are, your boyfriend loves you the way you are, and is attracted to you all the same. Your self-image is your hangup, not his, so don't blame him for it.

[malekoniky]

You better believe it!

Look at this:

link

I think that most men would change middle or right one. I certainly would.

Why would he lie?

[toulouse]

the one on the right is taller has nicer skin & a prettier face. plus people at that size don't usually look smooth. they look chunky. that pic is air brushed.

[toulouse]

more importantly-its not his choice.

the Q was 'why won't my boyfriend 'let' me lose wight'.

[Cryostatic]

God, the one on the left is hideous. I'd take the one in the middle if the one on the right wasn't available, she's f***ing sexy.

[malekoniky]

Yes probably is air brushed.

Doesn't change the point.

U love shape of middle one and hate too skinny. So do many other men. And many love skinny.

Also toulouse you are right. It is never been his choice! But his preference makes very good sense for me.

[malekoniky]

correction: "I love shape ..."

[toulouse]

its not his right to give you permission, or forbid you from gaining are losing weight. its your body, not his. do what you want.

if you think you should lose weight, don't use him as an excuse to be lazy.. which is what it looks like. you know its not his decision. this post is not serious.

[Asker]

thanks for your answer but its not that I'm lazy I could go on and on I was a member of ballys and he made me cancel it and when I go with my friends to the gym as their guest he flips out and when I eat salads and veggs and fruits he says that's all your gona eat this is a serious post I'm looking for help and how to tell my boyfriend that I NEED to lose weight without starting a huge argument like always if you have any supportive suggestions please help thanks

[toulouse]

well, I assmed you didn't want to, bwcause it oes not make sense, hat you would allow gim to tell you what to do.

you do not have to convince him of anything.

it is your body. he has no RIGHT to interfere. him saying he prefers you to be heavier- is not supportive. but he is getting into abusive territory.

he has no right to tell you what to do with your body. anymore than he has a right to rape you. I'm SERIOUS.

stop worrying about him agreeing, & focus on respect and not being manipulated.

[Jackelray]

So what happened here in the end?
Did you manage to lose weight or decide to stay thick?
Are you still with your bf?

[Love2Ball]

Tell him you are doing it for your own benefit.