Am I wrong for telling my LDR boyfriend he cannot decide colleges for me since he's not my parent?

[Anonymous]

I've been in an LDR with my boyfriend for 2 years. I'm finally going to a college I really like and will look good on my future resume. However, my boyfriend is basically deciding what college I'll go to so that he can easily visit me. My dad is obsessed with it lol, but I've explained that the hostel facility isn't that great, and I don't even have relatives or friends I can stay with in that area. My boyfriend literally asked for my application registration number so that he could check for updates. He says that I have to go there, he'll not let me give up on it, it's my dad's dream and that he wants a "bright future" for me. I then angrily told him that he cannot decide colleges for me, to which he replied yes he can and he just did. I then told him he's not my parent and has no authority over me, and he flipped out. Am I wrong for saying that?

[blueonblack22]

He’s welcome to have an opinion but not a controlling one. This is going too far.

How old is he? 18-19? I will cut him some slack on being controlling at his age because he still has a lot to learn. He might really want the best for you but this could be a red flag.

Also unless you are going into law or want to be a doctor the college name itself doesn’t matter. What matters most is what you learn.

There are people who go to community colleges who ultimately come out better educated then people who go to Ivy League undergrad schools. They are less distracted with all the worthless bs. More focused on brass tacks.

[TommyMountainFigure]

You have to decide what is more important to you. Your education, or your Long Distance Relationship. It would seem in this case you may end up losing him!

For what it's worth though? a LDR can collapse at a second's notice, but a good education will last your whole life! Oh and just a thought, but if he really truly cares about you, he will accept it, despite his objections and understandable frustrations over what he sees as a slap in the face!

[SugarSugarplum]

This sounds like a bad match. Decide if you want him or this other college more.

Some points:

• Current-day colleges are a massive waste of money.
• They all look about the same on a resume.
• Long Distance Relationships are basically pen-pals.
• If boyfriend wants to pick your college, then he's offering to pay for it, right?

[Asker]

Lolll I wish he'd offer to pay. That'll never happen haha

[DarkCarousel]

In my opinion, YOU should be the only one making the decision. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have important discussions with parents, friends, or significant other before you make the decision.

[RingOfFire]

Many times what you say is right, but you say it in the wrong way.

I think what you told him is right but maybe you should use a softer approach. You're not going to give up on your position, but you should try to add a little more cushion to the discussion.

Once you dig in too deeply and draw the line too firmly it becomes an argument. It's better to ease into it until he understands that you're not going to change your mind.

[onedarkcloud]

If he is like that now imagine if you are married to him. You can tell your boyfriend if you are agreeable to it, that if he pays the money it costs to go to his school of choice he pay for it all including books food housing transportation all paid for in advance you would think of going to the collage of HIS choice. See what he says and if he is not willing to pay tell him to shut up and that you are going to the school of your choice. Remember THINK ABOUT HIS COLLEGE CHOICE IF HE PAYS.

[KrakenAttackin]

@onedarkcloud Women want men who are leaders but women don't want to be lead. Do you see a basic problem here?

[onedarkcloud]

@KrakenAttackin My Wife and I never had that problem We argued about some things but never told each other you would do something 99% of the time we worked out the problem to mutual satisfaction and it worked for 33 years

[KrakenAttackin]

@onedarkcloud. Bravo for you, you chose well. Wine bare very different creatures today than they were many years ago. Women value social media more than their husbands.

[onedarkcloud]

@KrakenAttackin That could be good or bad. Social media can be right or very wrong all advice should be scrutinized for accuracy also not be taken as gospel as some offerings are way off base

[summiter]

That is your choice and probably your choice along with your parents. He probably wants you closer to him for personal reasons (or sex) Live your own life

[OlderAndWiser]

1. Why are you in an LDR?

2. The much larger issue is this guy's perceived entitlement to control your life. Don't you see this as a HUGE red flag?

[Astarlessnightsky]

You alone can decide this, neither your parents nor your boyfriend.

[HelpfulWoman]

dump.
its the start of controlling behaviour and shows he doesn't see you as a person

[DishLady]

He’s very odd. I don’t think he’s healthy to be around….

[MicahRaine]

Nope you're totally right. They should be free to share their opinion, and you should be free to make your own decision

[CrabCakes11]

No. This guy seems super controlling and strange

[slatyb]

Not at all. Go where you want and date other people.

[slatyb]

by the way, your parents don't get to decide your college either. You are an adult. Your parents can decide to support you or not.

[Anonymous]

Not at all. When you get to college, get an actual boyfriend you'll see in person all the time. Dump this controlling loser.

[Pete671]

If you let him decide your College he will control you for the rest of your life,,,

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a good relationship! You two should totally get married and have LOTS of kids!

[Asker]

I believe this is sarcasm?

[Opinion Owner]

You've got one thing right at least! Progress!

[Loner111]

I don't get women... They say they like anybody controlling them, but then they do this...

[In_Trance]

When will distance no longer be a factor?
How long have you been apart?

[236color]

No you are not wrong

[spartan55]

You need to dump that clown.

[Iron_Man]

Try to get along

[gorydetails]

lol, are you an adult or not?