Why would someone always blame shift when I accuse them of something?

[Anonymous]

I've been seeing a guy for a few months now and have recently been feeling like he only uses me to get over his ex and to get sex. When I told him that I feel like he is using me he got mad, told me I should see a therapist and told me he felt like I was using him (which doesn’t make sense in my opinion because he has nothing I could get out of him). Why does he always play the blame shifting game instead of taking a stance to my accusation?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

It’s an ego-based defense mechanism. When some people are confronted with the negative consequences of their own actions, their first instinct is to defend themselves and play the victim. It’s a sign of emotional immaturity at best, and abusive tendencies at worst. If you feel like he’s just using you, stop fucking him and move on. He might get a little pissy about it but he will too.

[Asker]

Yeah but do you think it’s a sign that he is guilty?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Does it matter if he feels he is or not? You’re the one affected by his actions, if you feel that he’s the issue, get rid of the issue

[DishLady]

A guy wanting to be with a girl for sex? My goodness, what shall we do… As for the ex situation, if you think you’re just the “rebound chick” then why are you still with him?

[spartan55]

I don't know, I'd be pretty pissed if the girl I was seeing kept accusing me over and over of wanting to be with my ex. And your reason was..."I feel like he would rather be with his ex"... WTF? You think he is going to be happy about that? Why is her name coming up AT ALL anyway?

[Serkee]

I don't know about him, but I'd be pretty hurt and upset if my girlfriend thought I was just using her. I wouldn't flip it around on her, but I would feel attacked. Did he ever say why he thinks you're using him? And why do you think he's using you?

[Asker]

No he just blocked me afterwards.
I feel like he is using me because I he is way more charming with everyone except me and I feel like he would rather be with his ex. In company of other people he always has to remind himself to not neglect me which I find weird because if you’re in love you typically don’t forget about them

[Asker]

Do you think he is guilty?

[Serkee]

With what you're saying yes, but it also sounds to me like you already knew what everyone would think about that before you even posted it. Of course neglecting and using your girlfriend is bad, nobody thinks otherwise.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Blame transferral is a technique used by those who are usually guilty of something!

[Anonymous]

Most do