Is it ok to be used to get to other guys?

[Anonymous]

So one pattern I have noticed about myself is I alone am not good enough for a girlfriend but I’m used to facilitate other relationships such as giving the girls number to another guy

[MrOracle]

in my opinion, it sounds like you are not asserting yourself enough, and you are letting girls use you, which means that not only do THEY not respect you, but YOU don't respect you. And no one else will ever respect you if you don't respect yourself.

When I've been single, I intentionally don't have female "friends" - I have plenty of acquaintances, but I didn't accept being "friend-zoned" - where you hang out with a girl, being her "close friend" as you wish to be with her and while she takes advantage of you to use you for attention, comfort, and endless "favors." If you accept being in a girl's Friend Zone, no girl will respect you.

Instead of spending your free time hanging around girls who aren't interested in you (but will happily use and abuse you), go make some guy friends and start doing things with them. Play some pool at the pool hall, or go jet-skiing with them, or have BBQs together, or play some football, baseball, soccer, etc. In other words, find fun, enjoyable things to do that are outside your home and out in public. Let girls SEE you having a great time without them. And feel free to talk to them and be pleasant with them, but never, EVER act even a little needy or desperate around them. Treat them like your kid sister, and go have fun and laugh and have the best time around them. Don't be afraid to sing and dance when there's music playing. Tell jokes. LAUGH. Interact. BE THE PARTY.

What will happen is that, while you won't attract every girl, you'll start attracting far more than you ever have before, because they see that you're always having fun, and they want in on that. If you can be nice to them in a platonic way, but not CARE *at all* what they think of you, the strange thing is that many of them are going to think incredibly highly of you. And they'll start making that interest in you obvious. And, now, instead of them having ALL of the power, you actually have quite a bit in that situation. But, continue to move slowly. Let the girls prove their interest. Don't jump at the chance at going on a date - let it be known that it's an option, but don't make it any big deal whether it happens or not, and SHE'LL make sure that it does.

You don't need to lie, you don't need to be mean or rude, and you don't need to use anyone. You just need to respect yourself and your own boundaries, and you need to make sure the girls are putting as much emotional "skin in the game" as you are.

[DrPepper12]

You're not being used, your being a dutiful wingman!

[DishLady]

If you allow this to happen you’ll never be seen for who you are.

[Asker]

What do you mean

[spartan55]

Stop being a go between. No girl respects that.