How do I keep my mental sanity and keep going if I’m broke (I work much for little), lonely and single for the last two years (girls I like reject me?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

To me this is a part of life, for a majority of people. Especially men. A lot of women can easily have a man take care of them, men not so much. I don’t know of any woman who would take care of a man financially for the rest of his life while she worked. Maybe there’s a handful. But in order to get where you’re going you have to have a destination. If you have no destination in a mind it’s like a boat out in the ocean, it’s just going to sail wherever. So having some short as well as long term goals would be a good start. Short term could be from 6 months to a year. Most men usually in their 20s, maybe even 30s are barely making money. It’s not till you reach your later years that most men start making good money. I was in the military for a while, maybe made about $900 every two weeks when I first started. Even than I was broke, but I had no bills to pay. Why? Poor money management. Now that I’m in my 40s I make about $7000 a month. You really have to take a look at yourself. What are you doing that’s not benefiting you? Maybe sleeping half your day away? Playing games? Partying? Look at what you do w your spare time. If the things you’re doing don’t benefit you then you need to cut them out or minimize them a lot. Most of us do the same thing everyone else does. Which if you look at a majority of people, they’re not rich, so obviously it’s not working. I’m not saying I’m rich either. But in order for me to make what I make now I had to change some things. I had to start listening to audio books on finances. I hate to read. I think a lot of people hate reading but there’s a lot of useful information in these books. So if you’re not doing that already then start. Maybe 10 minutes a day, build it up. Eventually it becomes routine that if you don’t do it, it feels like your day is off. What are you doing w your money now that you make? Do you live alone? W family? You have to sacrifice for number of years in order to live a better life 10 years from now. You’re still very young. I know it sucks to do things you don’t want to but bro if you don’t change you’re going to be doing the same shit you’re doing now for the rest of your life. So think, 10 years maybe of sacrifice to live a better life or die living the same life I live now? Learn to invest. Even if it’s $20, over time as your income grows you add more. Over time that’ll all grow. If you don’t want to work the rest of your life then you need to find a way o make money even while you sleep. There’s endless options, it’s just up to you if you’re willing to go after it or not. As for the women. Well women like security, hypergamy. So once you start becoming more financially secure that will come as well. Just be careful though hard to tell who just wants to take your money vs who just wants to be in a secure financial relationship.

[lightbulb27]

It's tough at times, and you'll have other tough times. So learn to be strong in your weakness.

My answer is find Christ inside so you have a solid foundation of faith and can work on yourself emotionally. If that doesn't work, try buddah's advice or someone else. there's a reason for all these "beliefs".

Focus on living your life, keep it simple, find joys in the little things. shrink your world down but give from the heart and connect with others. you must be wise about that so you don't give yourself away, thus foundation in Christ.

Go to church, learn to love others. start with animals if you have to. Be genuine self.

Work on small successes daily, ... make your bed, cook food, learn something new, share with others.

turn off all the social media that compares you to others... it's poison.

...

If you spend time dwelling on what you don't have, comparing yourself to those whom do... you'll fail. If you watch others to learn what they are doing to be successful, practice, learn, grow, you'll feel successful.

[SugarSugarplum]

Yeah there's no future in dating a broke guy.

• Expand your skill set. More skills open better doors.
• Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You may get pity and sympathy, but achieving things gives a much better result in the long run.

I just read a book called "How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big". There are some good ideas in there.

[Asker]

By broke I don’t mean I can’t survive and I can’t pay bills. I mean that I can’t go on holidays abroad or to the restaurant more than 2-3 times a month.
Yeah, I’m working on skills and networking

[uniquelyshy]

I feel your frustration I'm in the same boat, except I'm still trying to get this one guy I like him he likes me but he still as no for reasons I'm unaware of s I'm gonna keep trying with him. But the broke part well good lord I sure feel you on that.

[Loner111]

Well, life is hard and lonely.

In regards to ur financial situation, have u considered moving back in with family?

This way u can save up for your own house someday and u will help ur family out both emotionally and financially.

Being alone?

Well, sadly I don't have the answer to that one as I am in that same boat with women. Because anything and everything can easily be considered harassment, inappropriate, etc... it's not a simple task. But, dating sites and going to social gatherings are always an option.

Don't give up without trying. How can u say u don't like Mac n cheese if u haven't tried it first, right? :)


Being broke honestly shouldn't play a role in u being single. Love, relationships should be based off ones personality and interests.

When I lived alone, I trained in Brazilian jiu jitsu and it kept me busy as I was motivated to learn.

If u like combat sports, maybe u should try it. Definitely a great way to make friends and maybe even a BJJ girlfriend.

[Asker]

I’ve been back with my family since I broke up with my last girlfriend, and I don’t mind it because they are moving out and they are leaving me their house. I’m going to a gym, but when I strike conversations with girls, they kinda mind their own business

[Loner111]

Well, that sounds normal, most women will do exactly that unless ur some type of famous athlete...

In that case, do what ur there to do and sooner or later, a girl will approach.

[Fireguy17]

gee, welcome to the star of being an adult.
As for being broke do like so many of us did, we just went out and got another job.
I had 4 at once and still had time to have fun.
Rejection is a part of life.
Take a hard look at yourself and see if you can figure out why you are being rejected, and work on it to fix it.
Laying around and going oh pitiful me is not going to change a thing.
Who wants to be with someone like that?
Very few, so maybe that is why you are being rejected?
Get off your butt, get out there and take charge of your life like many of us did that got tired of the pity party for 1 and make something of yourself.
It doesn't come easy, it's hard work but if it is important to you then do it.
Otherwise, this is your life.
It is your choice what you make of it.

[Asker]

I have a 9 to 5 job. How can I have 4 jobs? Maybe I can have 2. I don’t need fun, just rest so that I can keep on going.
You’re wrong because I don’t complain in front of other people. That’s why I ask you strangers on the internet, so that I don’t complain about my life with other people. So people don’t really know my struggles, because I seem quite cheerful all the time. In fact other people don’t think there is something wrong with my life because I afford to live, eat and survive like so many others, but not more beyond that. They also assume I don’t have a girlfriend because I don’t want to. You got it wrong that I don’t take charge of my life, but maybe it’s hard to understand that sometimes self-motivation has limits, particularly when you try hard and don’t succeed. That’s when you start feeling a little frustrated. You must have probably had such moments in your life since you are 59

[Fireguy17]

I had a lot of those moments when I was growing up, but I refused to give into them, picked my self up and pushed on.
I had a $50 car, yes you could buy them for that back then, it ran fine, had a 3 on the tree (a manual shit car with the shifter on the steering column) that if you shifted it too fast it got hung up between 1st & 2nd, so I had to pull over and go under the hood and move the linkage, it had 1 front bucket seat, the front end was so worn out so the front tyres were visibly pointed in, but they were 13" tyres and were pretty cheap so I would wait until they wore down on the outside then take them off of the rim and remount them so they good tread was now on the outside and ran them until they were junk and go but 2 more new ones.
I drove a school bus in the mornings, the worked my real job, was a bouncer/bartender at 1 place, and bartended at another place.
Figure it out, you are an adult.
If you work a 2nd job 3 or 4 days a week, that would probably be an extra $1,000 a month, or 12 grand a year.
That might help out a bit.

[Fireguy17]

Just because I had nothing better to do this past fall and winter I gave plasma.
I used the money to buy new wheels and tyres for one of my classic cars, along with some other parts.
You can do it twice a week, no more than 2 times in 7 days.
Most larger cities have places, takes and hourish to do.
The place I went to was bio life. Just do a search if that interests you.
We are all good at hiding our inner struggles from other people.
It's just how we come from the factory. It helps if you have a friend or family to talk to.
What might help is to start out with little things, the second job, then you may not have to struggle so hard to make ends meet.
Then you can work on something else so things may start to get better.
It's a 1 day at a time kind of thing.
It won't happen overnight, but once you take that first step you are on your way.
There is a saying "The Journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step." Yes it's kind of corny, but when you think about it, it really is true.
So, until you take that first step nothing will change.
Once you do take that step you are on your way.
Good luck, and you are not the only one in the planet with these kind of struggles.

[TopShelfMan]

Look into taking low cost online courses (or free with PELL grants) that can get you a certificate or associate's degree in some field you are interested in that makes more money than you make now. Depending on where you live, there should be at least 20 + options for certificate programs.

Keep a budget every month to track expenses. Figure out which ones are necessities and which ones are optional to decide what you should keep spending on and what you can cut back on.

If your family is leaving you their house, look into renting out one or two rooms, just be careful who you rent them out to.

[Anonymous]

It's all about hope and keeping the faith. There's going to be times in your life when everything seems hopeless. That's when you have to start thinking about dreams and the good things that lie ahead. As long as you're still living there's always hope and you have to learn to hang on to that

Life may seem gloomy now but the sun will come out at some point. It's a series of ups and downs. When you're down just think about the next time the Sun will come in. Everyday is a new opportunity to begin again.

Keep pushing through and you will get there. Things change and often when they least expect it.

[Anonymous]

All of these things can be fixed. Not overnight it would take time but that goes for any changes you make in your life. Look for a job that pays more so you aren’t working that hard for little money. Work on yourself so you can be in a place where your confident enough to pursue dating.

[Asker]

Yeah, I should get a bit more experience then pursue a better job. I’m confident enough to approach dating. The problem is that girls I approach, who are very open to getting to know each other, pull away the moment I ask them out.

[Opinion Owner]

So who are these women? Where are you mainly meeting them and how are you building up to asking them out?

[Asker]

Events, parties, church, volunteering. I ask for their Instagram and then I ask them out the next day. Generally they say no first when I suggest a day, then they say yes, then before that day they say they are busy.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe try getting to know them a bit first. I know that’s meant to be done on a date, and you can save some of that for the date. But it could be something about asking for their socials then asking for a date the next day without much conversation in between.

[Asker]

Most of the times I have no chance of seeing them again soon, so I shoot my shot

[Opinion Owner]

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If you choose to act based on this same mindset and it repeatedly doesn’t work, then maybe that’s a sign to try something else. Even if you aren’t seeing the woman often, you could ask for her number or social media then chat for a bit prior before asking her out. Maybe it won’t work but at least it’s trying something different than what you’ve been doing, at least once.

[Asker]

Yeah, you could be right. At least you can try to build some trust like that even if she might think you are hesitant

[Opinion Owner]

That might be the key. Honestly nothing sounds bad about what you’re doing, I just feel like if it repeatedly produces then there’s just something about it that isn’t working out. So maybe it’s worth a shot trying to build a little bit of relationship first, like a couple days of talking.

[Opinion Owner]

**produces the same result

[Nirmroth]

Are you able to invest in furthering your career trough a study etc?

Bec thats the best time in your life to focus on career and hobbies to bring you forward. When you're in a rl you have to balance that with the needs of a partner.

[Asker]

Yeah. I’m doing a master’s, although I have to see how far it can take me.

[DishLady]

Sounds like you need to train up and switch jobs so you can be happy and then meet a nice girl. If you’re miserable in life others pick up on that.

[Asker]

I’m actually not miserable. I enjoy life as much as I can. But sometimes it feels like life can’t get any better and that I’m stuck. At that point I find it hard to accept it. I can’t find better jobs because most require 5+ years of experience in the specific job.

[Anonymous]

By remembering it's not where you start it's where you finish. I was broke at your age as well. Now I got a high 6 figure net worth. Just keep plugging away mam. Just do one thing to better your life each day, you'll get there. Then you can reject those women who rejected you 20 years. Earlier.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

In times of darkness, hope is something you give yourself. That’s the meaning of inner strength. Believe things will get better and they will

[CrabCakes11]

Work on self improvement, go to the gym, get some hobbies and good friends. Maybe a pet.

[Asker]

I do go to the gym. I do have good friends and hobbies like football. However, having a partner is a human need which cannot be completely ignored. Although those hobbies distract you

[CrabCakes11]

Having a partner is not a need. Having human connection is one. Learning to be ok single is the first set of getting a healthy relationship

[Asker]

Exactly. The human connection you form with your partner. But we also have physical needs. And I’m not the type who has one night stands

[CrabCakes11]

Or any other human you don’t have sex with. Sex also isn’t a need. It’s a desire.

[Unit1]

Welcome to being a man and being stuck in the matrix.

Find your gold mine and escape from the matrix.

[Asker]

Andrew Tate fan much?

[Unit1]

You could say that. Fan is a strong word here but yes, you have detected it.

My gold mine is swing trading. I'm still waiting for profits to expand my capital continuously.

As for getting girls. It turns out girls are too passive/scared/lazy to do anything to get a boyfriend. They wait for a boyfriend to land on their lap. Except for the top 10% of men, that they'll run after.

[Asker]

You sound like an AT acolyte lol

[Unit1]

AT acolyte? I'm not familiar with that

[Unit1]

Ah, i see. Andrew Tate Acolyte. Or a disciple of Andrew Tate.
Can't dodge his statements though.

[DrPepper12]

Don't give up. Hang out with guys at affordable coed places. Work on building a career, not a job

[Asker]

I’m on a career path, let’s say, although not that far on it

[DaBiggestBird]

Never tell yourself “I think I can’t”, always tell yourself “I can and I will”

[AngryCarl]

Do you have friends? Everyone needs friends.

[HaleyWalker]

I have a second job for that reason

[Logan2000]

talk to someone if you're lonely

[thisAppIsGarbage]

You focus on things that suck. Stop doing that.