Struggling with severe depression and loneliness... how do I keep going?

[Almost_Incel]

It is taking its toll on my health and well being.

I am 27, turning 28 this year. I hardly have any friends, and I have never had a real girlfriend. I live alone in my apartment with my cat.

The girl I was wanting to marry at one time is marrying some other guy in less than two weeks. He gets to be her first love and everything. He is also taking her virginity on their wedding night. I am sick to my stomach about it.

Meanwhile, I am still single as ever.

It is starting to effect my job. I cannot focus. I am afraid to lose my job, as I will lose my apartment and be in massive debt if that happens.

People have mentioned Meetup groups. There are not that many in my area right now, and the ones that do exist aren't really aimed for young adults like me. Plus, I noticed a lot of misfits attend these groups.

I am needing a solid place to meet young adult singles like me. A place where I can meet people that share similar life circumstances. I work remote, so it is not like I can meet people at work. I am also no longer in school.

I am really struggling.

Updates

+1 y

I called a mental health crisis line. They were not much of a help. It was ok, I am just missing a solid solution.

[HollyK21]

You post about this to a very obsessive extent, and despite how many others offer you advice and suggestions, you put this up again, so clearly there aren’t words anyone can say to help a bit. Honestly if the situation with her is really messing with your mental health to such an extreme extent then this is far beyond what anyone on here can help you with anyway, and it’s time to consider therapy or other psychiatric help. That’s if you really want to move past this girl, accept that she’s getting married and get on with your life. But this has to stop.

[HollyK21]

I think thats a good first step (your update), but I think you’d do better with someone committed to your mental health in the long-term. What you’re going through is far beyond what’ll help in one call. Can therapy get pricey? Sure, especially if your insurance doesn’t help. But your mental state is worth the investment so you can let this situation go. It’s just far too obsessive, dude.

[Almost_Incel]

It is helping to some extent, but I feel like I am trying to get myself out of a hole I dug too deep.

I am now seeing a therapist. I see him again on Monday. I am just struggling to find a concrete solution to my loneliness issues. Also, I am struggling to be patient, because it just feels long overdue.

I am struggling to find motivation and purpose. Simple daily tasks feel like such a chore.

[HollyK21]

It’s good to hear that you are seeing a therapist, and hopefully in the long run your sessions will benefit you. I get that you’re having a hard time being patient, but in your situation I think you’re going to really need to keep trying. You’re quite stubborn and adamant about wanting a very specific sort of girl, but you won’t find her easily. In your mind there’s so much urgency, but who knows maybe it is not your time. Sure you can want a girlfriend, maybe even feel a strong need to because that one girls getting married soon and you can’t stand it. But on a deeper level I don’t think you’re in the right position to be a good boyfriend. You need to work on yourself and heal, otherwise you will become very codependent and put a lot of weight on her shoulders to try and pull you out of your depressive episodes, which just isn’t fair.