Great chemistry with guys in-person but he's not into texting?

[Anonymous]

Is it a hard sign of disinterest when a guy doesn't reply to a complimentary text (like "you're cute/fun")? Even if you get along great when you see each other? 😕😬

I don't know if it's a problem with my mindset and approach. But I've had the same issue reoccurring thousands of times. We flirt strong. But I get scared when the guy actually physically touches me. He gets scared and confused. I send a text telling them they're attractive. I get no reply and I get scared. Then we both send mixed signals and ruin it lol

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Now with the current guy Graham. We were working at a big festival as food vendors. He seemed to be a quiet dude. At first we were distant, but warmed up after he saw my work. I was working efficiently and my team had great things to say about me. In fact, when I changed locations, they all wanted me back.

Now Graham and I, were like 2 goofy partners in crime. We both liked to drink 🍸 and smoke. As we worked 14 hour shifts, we drank Jameson. Then when we had separate drinks. Everytime I drank, I noticed he would too. Liking the same music, dancing and singing go it. Some eye contact. He was giving me huge smiles that he wasn't even giving to his good buddies.

But very unfortunately, mixed signals again... I think he came over next to me to "fiddle" with an electric cable (that didn't need no fiddling 😂). Graham tapped my hand and I jumped away out of instinct. Then he stopped any physical touch

By the end, I wasn't entirely sure. I think he was somewhat interested. We had other things going on, but there's a word limit so I'll add it as an update. I shot him a text suggesting we go out for drinks. Graham agreed and also suggested I join them for their Coachella food event as well. Impulsively... I told him he was "cute and fun" at night. He hasn't responded for half a day. But I was looking for a fling and not anything serious. So I'm disappointed but not devastated.

Updates

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Additional information because of word limit:

I carpooled to the event with 2 guys, Matt and Alex. Seeing that me and Matt were good buddies and chatting a lot. Graham asked if "we came together". And then he started backing off a little.

Honestly, Graham is a pretty cute guy. He seemed to be a big partier back in his early 20s. He did say it was a thing of the past in his youth. But maybe I'm just scared of rejection bevause I'm human. Thanks for any advice!

[_Maya_]

Well from my own experience the majority of guys aren't really into texting. It just isn't their thing. I would say 99% of the guys (be it friends or the couple I dated) are pretty dry texters and take forever to reply. They just read the message and I think they don't really know what to say to messages like the one you sent and just think "alright" in their heads. He also could be busy. It is after all only a half day. Have a little patience. He may be trying to not look too eager. So don't read to much into especially because you guys have great chemistry when you are togther in person. Isn't that the important part? Just because he isn't into texting doesn't mean a thing if you guys get along great when you are with each other.

[Asker]

Aww. Thanks for the sincere advice Maya. I'll see what happens. I tell myself to not generalize all guys. But it's kind of true that a lot of them aren't into texting. It makes sense considering lots of my guy friends are the same.

I'm nervous because he flew over from Cali to my city with his team (who knows my team). He'll probably leave this week. I guess I'm nervous about if I'll ever get to see him again. Or if I'll have to wait until the next time I go to Cali or next year (Coachella 2025...).

Thanks for soothing a girl's mind!

[_Maya_]

You're welcome and maybe when he is gone he will have more incentive to text. I just know that my general experience are guys are just not into texting like we are. Good luck and have fun while you still can and enjoy the in person company that seems to be clicking so well.

[spartan55]

No it's a sign that guy's don't like texting. Somehow, even though evidence is everywhere, girls just can't/won't understand this.

[abc3643]

Guys generally are not into texting.
If a guy is into texting, check under his skirt to make sure that he has the right parts.

[SotiCoto]

If the texts aren't working, why do you keep trying that way?

[Asker]

I don't know. I guess I am also really shy and get extremely nervous. I prefer to use texting to be as direct as possible. It did technically work for my ex of 3 years, but he preferred calling and didn't like texting either