What to do when your husband rejects food and sex from you?

[Anonymous]

It’s been over a year with no sex and then when I cook for everyone I offer him food he always says no. The very few times and it has only been twice he has liked my food but since then he is always rejecting it even when the food it made specially for him as a way to show me caring for him. Its very sad how I keep getting pushed away in everything i do for him and no he isn’t cheating I checked his phone once without him knowing and he didn’t have anything other than typical friend conversations and work stuff. I confronted him about the food today in a kind manner asking why and he just said “this is my time to eat don’t ruin it” as he cooks himself eggs… i just put the food away and walked away.

[MrOracle]

The problem is that you aren't communicating - and, yes, he's part of the problem, but so are you.

Did you vet this man before you got married? Do you know what his morals, values, and life-goals were? Did they align with yours?

Getting married is among the most important decisions you will ever make in your life, and if you didn't vet your partner, or you didn't base that vetting on his morals, values, and life-goals, then it's easy to get into a relationship with someone where you have no long-term compatibility. It's essentially like shooting yourself in the foot.

At this point, the best you can do is sit him down AFTER he has eaten and had a chance to relax, and discuss what you need from each other. You can also discuss what you WANT, but you first need to start with what you NEED - and you can't just ask for everything - you need to prioritize.

Expect to be surprised when he tells you what he needs from you - it's probably going to be very different than what YOU need or what you *think* HE needs. Then tell him what YOU need. Once you have that out on the table, discuss how you can meet each other's needs the best. Either you're going to learn that a few simple changes will make huge improvements to your relationship, or you're going to learn that you made a huge mistake and that you never had any long-term compatibility and you need to end your relationship before it gets any more complicated.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he’s done. I wouldn’t doubt he’s been seeing someone else. A year of no sex? Especially at that age. If he’s the same age as you he’s at his prime sex wise. Has he given a reason to be like this? Obviously there’s something wrong. Maybe you’ve gained weight I don’t know. Maybe you haven’t had time for him w two kids. Maybe you’ve changed. There’s a lot of possibilities.

[DishLady]

Girl, what kind of question is this? He’s your husband. You need to talk to him and see what’s going on.


(A year without sex? You’re sure he’s not just your roommate and stepping out on you?)

[jahaims]

You are both immature and don't know how to communicate

[Anonymous]

Marriage counselor and if he says no then divorce lawyer. It won't get better by itself.

[Asker]

We are in counceling. I been trying all ways to make it work and he puts nothing of effort. I am tired now. We have 2 kids together

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your divorce is a little late.