How come a lot of women are wary of nice guys but very welcoming of toxic men?

[Chthou95]

[DishLady]

The toxic guy doesn't usually present himself as toxic right away... He's the adventurous "bad boy" and allows some excitement into a girl's life, so some girls (especially innocent ones) will fall for some of the most ridiculous dbags in existence. Meanwhile, the good guy is on the up-and-up, usually the guy with the warning to the girl about the dbag, or the guy she'll run to for protection, etc. etc. ... and it will take something like that for the girl to realize the good guy is the real deal.

It takes some girls longer than others to figure it out... and then they complain that all the good ones are taken... Bc there's no reason for a good man not to get snatched up by a good woman instead of waiting for the girl to figure herself out.

[Chthou95]

But there's plenty of good men out there who wouldn't do anything to her but women don't want these men. a lot of women chase after those toxic men hoping they'll change or hoping it'll be different with them. Women shoud just be smarter and learn from other women and not do the same thing they did

[DishLady]

(We’re basically saying the same thing… Though in defense of the girls it’s not always easy to spot the toxic guy if he’s a v smooth sort of PUA, you know?)

[Chthou95]

Don't women have good personality detectors?

[DishLady]

Aaaah! THAT is the million dollar question. I have to say that as a very young kid I still remember having a great gut instinct about people till a teacher f-ed with it and told me "YOU HAVE TO BE NICE. A YOUNG LADY SHOULD BE NICE" and from there I was messed up till after my bloody divorce... So there's that... It took YEARS after my divorce to trust my own gut instinct again... it's literally never wrong.

Guys don't get the "be nice" thing, so their gut instinct gets to build... And still many of them fall for the gold diggers and tramps... So... there's that...

[Chthou95]

If they're desperate enough sure

[Agape93]

Because self proclaimed nice guys, are just discreet toxic assholes, which make us wary of anyone else like them

[Chthou95]

But the same guys women bitch about that cheat on them and use them just for sex do the same thing. What's the difference

[Agape93]

With one, we know what to expect. We know and we can prepare, especially if it's just a relationship for. fun and excitement.

Which would you rather deal with at a dinner party, knowing who exactly is gonna be a dick that you can kick out if he causes trouble, or the one who acts nice until he catches someone alone and hurts them before you can recognize the issue?

[Chthou95]

If you know how one operates, how would you not know how the other one operates? The men that a lot of women end up dating show early red flags before hand and still decide to go through with dating those said men they'll complain about later

[Agape93]

Answer the question

[Chthou95]

Neither. Why would i want a woman with a problem

[Agape93]

Pick one. You don't get to pick neither.

Which would you rather deal with at a dinner party, knowing who exactly is gonna be a dick that you can kick out if he causes trouble, or the one who acts nice until he catches someone alone and hurts them before you can recognize the issue?

[Chthou95]

I choose both

[Chthou95]

Because one way or another, I'm going to run into a problem with both of them

[Agape93]

Pick one. That's singular.

[Chthou95]

The one who acts nice

[Agape93]

Then you're an idiot.

[Agape93]

Rather than dealing with someone you know is a issue so you can prepare to kick em out or mitigate them, you'd rather deal with someone who goes under the radar and hurts people before you can stop em. Good job

[Chthou95]

Yup. I like the women. I like that toxic shit

[Billlewis]

That's the way it always is and always has been. One thing I've heard , which I described earlier is the phenomenon of a sexually active beauty who's being boinked with regularity a minimum of 5, 6, 8 or more times every single week, by a veritable procession of lucky men whom she has often met just a few minutes earlier, and they're very glad to have made her acquaintance. However, when a sweet, inexperienced guy who may very well still be a virgin falls in love with her, and is obviously hearing wedding bells,. she doesn't let him have sex with her for months!

[worldscolide]

Dude self proclaimed nice guys are usually anything but. They are almost always toxic controlling, and often times they are abusers and some times they are rapists in disguise.

[Chthou95]

But the mem they end dating and screwing exhibit those same traits. What's the difference

[worldscolide]

Those men are better at hiding it.

[Chthou95]

What about the men who flaunt it around and wear their toxicity like a medal who still have women who want to date them?

[worldscolide]

Don't care all part of the same bucket

[Chthou95]

But yet still succeeds despite having the same traits as the nice guys

[A_Wild_Redhead]

Because the men I call Nice guys is a group of men who call themselves nice, but aren't really nice. It's a different type of toxic man.

[Chthou95]

What about men who call themselves assholes

[A_Wild_Redhead]

I don't even give those a chance.

[Chthou95]

But plenty of other women do. That's why there's so many single moms who bitch about how there aren't any good men out there after being pumped and dumped

[A_Wild_Redhead]

That's their problem. If they lack the social intelligence to see a good person from a bad one, that's on them.

[Chthou95]

That personality detector doesn't work it? seems

[A_Wild_Redhead]

Works for me. All you need is time and a person's true colors will show.

[Chthou95]

a lot of women need that personality detector in the early stage

[jahaims]

Unresolved trauma