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I guy have pursuer me hard for the last days. I’m turning 30 this year and i come from a culture that thinks a 30 year old woman is ”spinster”. We also traditionally get married quite young.
i feel like many guys in my age group are already married or if not they’re low life etc.
a guy who’s 32 is interested in me. He’s studying engineering. He has one year left his studies. He’a also tall like 6’4 or 6’5.
The things that made me apprehensive is that he’s to be married and has multiple kids (4 kids). They live in another country with their mom (maleysia). We live now in Europe. We’re both from maleysia.
should I give him a chance?
Updates
1 y
Bump
What Guys Said
So you want to 'give a chance' to a guy who is engaged to marry someone else and has four kids? Did I read that right?
He’s not engaged. He’s divorced. He used to be married
I would still take a pass.
Why do you think so?
He wants to ditch his kids, you think that's a quality guy?
He’s already here in Europe to finish his engineering studies.
Yeah, away from his kids. Then he has his ex-wife taking care of his mother? You think this is all okay?
Obviously since the divorce the ex wife isn’t anymore living with his mother. His mother has the custody of his two kids and the ex wife has the custody of the other two kids
Why is it obvious? You never said this until I mentioned. No one is a mind reader here. So, why does his ex have custody of the kids.
She has only 2 kids. His mom has the other two. You are missing the point. He never wanted to bring the woman over to Europe. He wanted the wife and the kids be in their home country. He married her because his mom wanted him to marry from backhome. His mom wanted a daughter in law that’s close to her after she moved back home.
They divorced because she insisted that he takes her to Europe
Why wouldn't he take her to Europe with him?
What point am I missing? He has FOUR kids by two women and doesn't have custody of any of them... that's okay to you?
No he has kids with only one woman BUT his mom ( kids grandma) has custody of two of the kids
Why is that? Why wouldn't all four kids be together?
Why wouldn't he take her to Europe?
Because in third world countries divorced woman don’t have to means to support themselves let alone 4 kids. That’s why his mom has 2 of the kids.
He didn’t want to bring her because stereotypically are after men from western countries because they want to come to Europe. Also like I said previously he married her only because of his
mother insisting it.
His reason for not taking her makes no sense. If you don't see how this dude isn't covered in red 🚩 flags then I really don't know what to tell you.
We’re muslims and families do have a lot of power over who we marry. I don’t think he loved her tbh since it was basically a arranged marriage
Whatever, this isn't the guy.
First find out why his wife left him specially with 4kids? Don't be desperate go slow
He married her because of family pressure. She wanted him to bring her to Europe but he didn’t want to do that. He married her so she would look after his mom who lives back home in asia
Red flag
Why do you think it’s a red flag?
You're blind right now..
You won't understand even if I explained
Pls explain me
No, he's married
He’s divorced
Sorry there’s a typo in my text
Well it seems like he abandoned his family to go to Europe. What is to stop him from abandoning you and going to Africa next?
He was living on off between Europe and our homecountry. He wants to settle in Europe
Away from his kids.
He was pressured to marry her
That is no excuse