The guy I was seeing rejected me but insists on being friends. Why does he want to be friends so badly?

[Anonymous]

Despite begging me to hang out him for all most half a year, he told me that he didn’t think we were compatible for a relationship but would like to remain friends. When he said that he wanted to remain friends, I thought that he just meant cordial and not hostile. I said fine and left him alone.

Three days later, he starts texting me again like nothing happened. When we saw each other at a mutual friend house he cornered me and confronted me for snubbing him and giving him the cold shoulder and he keeps calling me back to back. He keeps sending me follow requests on different IG accounts despite the fact that I unfollowed him and he keeps looking me up on LinkedIn.

I don’t want to be friends with someone I have romantic interest in. Why is he so pressed to remain friends?

[Crimsyjo]

My guess is your an ego boost or an option. He wasn't to orbit you... that is... keep you on standby in case he can't find anyone else who will have him.

You are wise to not be friends with him. I wish I was as strong as you with the guy who rejected me this week!

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure what your relationship was like before, but he may just be trying to maintain that, except now it seems like it’s in excess because the situation has changed. Also, you aren’t communicating that you don’t wanna be friends, so he may think you’re fine with the normality you had before. It’s up to you to set the standard now, even if not with your words then with your actions. Like not engaging with him each time he reaches out.

[Asker]

We were acquaintances and we met through mutual friends. He pretty much let me know upfront that he was attracted to me. I did not see him in that way and I was also seeing someone else. He finally wore me down after about six months and I agreed to hang out with him. After hanging out with him, I started to see him in a different way and began to like him.

We eventually slept together, then he says via text that he doesn’t think that we are compatible for a relationship. He hope that I don’t have any animosity toward him and hope that he can still be friends. I ignore this message. He reacts with the “?” emoji and leave him on read. Then he pretty much became pushy and crazy despite me trying to ignore and avoid him. I’m just wondering why he can’t take a hint. He is a

[Opinion Owner]

I wanna give him the benefit of the doubt here and say that he just feels bad and doesn’t want you to be upset with him. I know that’s a concern for a lot of people when one friend catches feelings for the other that aren’t reciprocated, that person may try pulling away and the person who rejected them doesn’t want that. On the other hand, knowing you guys have hooked up, he may not want to lose access to that forever. At least until he finds someone else. Very scummy of him if that’s the case, which is why I wanted to give benefit.