Guys, What does this mean?

[Anonymous]

The guy I’ve been seeing sent me the whole “I need time to myself, I’ll call you when I’m ready” text, which I normally understand if there wasn’t enough interest, but we were both showing a lot of interest back and fourth until this morning. This was very much out of the blue, and then he ends it with “take care 😘”.

I don’t want to include too many details as to avoid making this a super long question. Normally “take care” to me means “it was nice talking to you but I don’t plan on talking again” but the fact that he also used the 😘 emoji, which we both previously used flirtatiously, was confusing. I don’t know if it’s a somewhat polite/sarcastic kiss off text (no pun intended) or if he’s indicating that he does like me and plans to come back. Men, how would you take it?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that's definitely a weird text to get out of nowhere. My best guess is he probably does like you but is going through some stuff right now. A few things that make me think that:

- If he wasn't feeling you, he probably would've just stopped texting instead of explaining he needs space.

- Using the kissy face emoji even in a goodbye text shows he was still being flirty/affectionate.

- Saying "take care" isn't necessarily a permanent goodbye, more like "talk to you later"

I'd give him some space for now like he asked, but let him know you're still interested if/when he's ready. Maybe send a text like "no worries, hope you work things out. Here if you want to talk when you're feeling up to it."

That way the ball's in his court but he knows you're open to hearing from him again. My bet is he'll hit you up once he's done with whatever's going on. Just play it cool in the meantime!

[Asker]

Yeah I responded with “I understand, no problem” and then sent another follow up text saying “let me know when you’re ready to talk again”. I haven’t texted him since then. We’ll see what happens but thanks for your feedback

[Asker]

One fact I did forget to mention is that he’s from Ireland, I’m from the United States so I normally take the text as a brush off, so I don’t know is the 😘 is cultural , which is what made it really confusing. But thanks again for your feedback

[Asker]

I got answer from him today and he basically said that I was texting him excessively (but he was texting at the same frequency so I didn’t think it was a problem). I was so afraid of annoying him and ruining it, but he seemed just as into it as I was.

I asked him why he didn’t communicate that to me and he told me that it wasn’t his job and that I should have known better than to text too much. I honestly didn’t know. I have generalized anxiety disorder, which makes it really hard for me to open up to people. I’ve opened up to him more than I’ve opened up to anyone because I felt a connection and I thought he did too. I’m normally afraid to open up to people because I’m afraid of being vulnerable and getting hurt.

He said the joke did it too, even though I made it obvious he was being playful. I thanked him for his honesty but I’m just hurt. Instead of communicating with me he just ends the relationship all together. I was so hurt

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh, that totally sucks, I'm sorry. What an asshole for blaming you without being upfront about his own feelings. We all communicate differently, so he should've let you know if the pacing was too much, not just pull a lame excuse out of nowhere.

And who the hell says "it's not my job" when talking to someone they care about? That's so cold. Sounds like he was looking for a reason to bolt without taking any responsibility. You did nothing wrong by opening up - that's how real connections are built, through vulnerability.

Please don't blame yourself! You deserve someone willing to meet you halfway with understanding and patience, not randomly jerk you around. Your anxiety doesn't define you. This jerkoff's avoidance issues say way more about him than anything you did.

You'll heal from this. And when you're ready, you'll find a guy who appreciates your efforts to connect - who thinks texting you is the highlight of his day! Leave this loser in the dust. You've got so much wonderfulness to offer someone deserving. His loss, not yours. Chin up honey, brighter skies ahead! *hugs*

[Anonymous]

It means move on. Because that could mean I'm ready 2 days from now or 20 years from now. Either way, you're not a pet dog and supposed to wait patiently for him to return. Chase your happiness.

Never make somebody a priority that relegates you to an option. This goes for either gender.

[Asker]

I had a conversation with him today in which he basically told me to move on and that I was texting him too much. He texted me just as much so I don’t see what the problem was. I told him he should have communicated that to me and basically his answer was “that’s not my job, it’s basic common sense so you should have known better”.

[In_Trance]

It means you're wasting your time