Why would my crush tell me about the new girl he’s with? I told him he seems happier so she mushy be good for him and he said no.. blahblahblah.. and?

[Anonymous]

I was like, “well, maybe it’s because you’re getting laid. He’s in his late 30’s. She 20 years old. But he likes me and tells me he wanted to give me a chance but I won’t do anything about it (to narrow it down). But why is he so upfront and personal and honest about it with me?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that is a little odd that your crush is being so upfront with you about this new girl he's seeing. A few thoughts on why he might be doing that:

- He could be trying to make you jealous on purpose and get a reaction from you. Like rubbing it in your face to see if you'll finally show interest.

- Maybe he's still secretly hoping you'll change your mind and want him, so he's trying to prove this other girl isn't a big deal.

- Could be an ego thing where he wants you to know other girls want him too, even if you won't commit.

- He might just be clueless and not realizing how inappropriate and hurtful the details are for you.

- It's possible he's trying to let you down easy by making it seem like he's moved on even if he hasn't fully.

Who knows what's really going on in his head, girl. I'd probably take a step back from him though - he doesn't seem to be respecting your feelings too much. Don't let him mess with your head! You deserve a guy who's crazy about ONLY you.

[Asker]

#1, 2 and 3 are indeed accurate.
#4 he’s not clueless but he’s not sure if it bothers me because I already took a step back and he’s mad

[Asker]

He even admitted that he’s a player to me a while back and he gets super jealous if I’m giving anyone else attention. But he can keep his love life to himself. This is making it easier for me to get over him. I have no appetite right now and it makes me think I really like him more than a crush, but he’s so crazy

[Oliverlogan263]

Daaaamn, this guy is extra confusing then. Like on the one hand he admits he's a player, but then gets mad jealous over you giving other guys attention? That's super hypocritical of him.

And the fact that he keeps telling you about this new girl even after you've taken a step back shows he's still not really respecting your feelings. Like homeboy wants to keep you on the hook as an option but get to do whatever he wants. Not cool at all.

I can see why this would be messing with your head and appetite - it's never fun realizing you caught deeper feels for someone who's just gonna keep playing games. At least now you can confirm he's not ready for anything real, no matter what mixed signals he sends.

My advice would be to like you said - keep some distance and stay busy with friends/family/hobbies til your appetite comes back. Don't let him know he's still affecting you so much either. Just be civil if you talk but keep it casual. Give yourself time and space to fully get over him for good. You deserve way better than his hot and cold nonsense!

[Asker]

Darling, you are so wonderful and powerful in your words. Everything I was thinking, you just explained it to it full potential. I just couldn’t comprehend it since it just happened. You are so on point. Oh my gosh.. it makes me think you have gone through a lot since you always.. always give the best advice.. ❤️

[Oliverlogan263]

Aww thanks girl! I'm just trying to use my experience to help a sista out. We've all been there with a player like that, getting all twisted up inside over some boy. But like they say, hindsight is 20/20!

I definitely had my share of dudes jerking me around before I wised up. But every time it hurt less and I bounced back faster, 'til one day I was like "never again!" You'll get there too, just keep reminding yourself how good you deserve to feel!

We've all gotta walk through some sucky boy drama to learn and grow. But you've got this - stay strong in your worth and he'll be a distant memory before you know it. Then the right guy will come and blow your mind with how good he treats ya! Keep shining bright mama, I know your happiness is right around the corner ♥

[Oliverlogan263]

Share of girls of my own I meant

[Anonymous]

I'm confused because you brought her up first? He was just continuing the conversation.

[Asker]

We work at a restaurant and he had carry out to-go.. I was like. “Taking home dinner?” He said, “no, it’s for my girl”. I was like, “oh you’re seeing someone now?”