Last week I went on a date. It was incredibly enjoyable and I stayed over to spend the night with him. In fact, I had my first kiss from this guy, and he knew about that.
Anyway, we live on opposite sides of the world and the next day I went back home.
At night he texted me because he felt sad about me leaving and hoped we could stay in contact.
Then when I asked why he was still awake, he told me it was because he couldn't sleep - he felt like he was going to miss me.
He told me multiple times he was afraid I would forget about him and so I made it a point to reach out to him to keep the contact going.
I've been home for some time now and I've noticed that even though he was the one to suggest keeping contact, wanting to see me again, expressing how he would miss me, etc. he also rarely responds to my messages and never keeps a conversation going.
When I asked if he wanted me to text him at all, he told me I could text him whenever and even though his responses seem encouraging of maintaining contact, he never actually reached out himself or even tries to hold a conversation. Usually it's just one message, so I always feel reluctant to keep things going.
I don't really know what to do about this and if it's even worth keeping contact if he's already losing interest in trying to stay in touch just few days after I left the country.
Is this a normal thing to do? What is the reason for such behaviour?
Anyway, we live on opposite sides of the world and the next day I went back home.
At night he texted me because he felt sad about me leaving and hoped we could stay in contact.
Then when I asked why he was still awake, he told me it was because he couldn't sleep - he felt like he was going to miss me.
He told me multiple times he was afraid I would forget about him and so I made it a point to reach out to him to keep the contact going.
I've been home for some time now and I've noticed that even though he was the one to suggest keeping contact, wanting to see me again, expressing how he would miss me, etc. he also rarely responds to my messages and never keeps a conversation going.
When I asked if he wanted me to text him at all, he told me I could text him whenever and even though his responses seem encouraging of maintaining contact, he never actually reached out himself or even tries to hold a conversation. Usually it's just one message, so I always feel reluctant to keep things going.
I don't really know what to do about this and if it's even worth keeping contact if he's already losing interest in trying to stay in touch just few days after I left the country.
Is this a normal thing to do? What is the reason for such behaviour?
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2Opinion
Oh wow girl, that is such a confusing situation! I know it's hard not to take it personally, but honestly it sounds like this guy is just not that good at communicating and keeping connections long-distance.
A few thoughts on why he might be acting this way:
- Guys can come on super strong when they're into you in person, but then find it harder to keep the spark going from far away. The distance and less interaction is a buzzkill.
- He could just not be that into texting/chatting regularly. Some people are more casual texters and it's not personal.
- Maybe he was afraid you losing interest fast after leaving, so he tried to overcompensate by saying he'd miss you. But now that a little time has passed, his fear is lessening.
- Long distance is hard work and takes consistency. Perhaps he's losing steam on putting in the effort to stay connected everyday.
My advice would be protect your feelings and pull back some too. You don't want to be chasing after someone who isn't fully reciprocating. Focus on your life at home and if he steps up with better communication then great. If not, don't drive yourself crazy wondering what's up with him! It's still so new, so protect yourself and your heart first, girl.
Time to end it. Sounds like he just wants to keep your interest. Keep your attention!
This is not a normal thing to happen. Usually you both wanna keep in contact not him begging for it.
Congrats on meeting together but sounds like your over it even though it was nice
What do you mean, 'him begging for it' though?
That he felt sad for leaving and wants to be in contact. Though he rarely texts much