Boyfriend went out with other girls without informing me. Should I be jealous?

[Anonymous]

Hi! Saturday morning my boyfriend told me that he along with his cousin brother (xyz) would go to xxx Lake and then they'll go have lunch. I slept after this because it was around 1 am here in India (we're long distance, he currently lives in the US for his studies). When I woke up we were texting each other and then I opened Instagram and saw his cousin's story and I saw a picture of him along with my boyfriend and there were two girls too. The four of them went together but my boyfriend told me that it's just gonna be him and xyz. I was hurt obviously but didn't question my boyfriend anything related to this. After a while he himself texted me saying that he was quiet the whole time he was out with xyz because xyz had invited two of his girl friends.
We had a fight obviously.
He knows how insecure I get. He knows everything but he still went and now he's the one who's been ignoring me since the last 3 days instead of saying sorry and making up

[SueShe]

Have you ever wondered where your insecurities come from or why you have them? Have you been cheated on before or do you have insecurities because you know how long distance relationships may develop?

In your age group, it is normal to have fun with others and I can understand that you are upset that your boyfriend did not tell you the entire truth. It could also be that those 2 girls joined that get together afterwards. What would have the best option for your boyfriend? To leave that party the second those girls came or inform you immediately so that you don't worry or be insecure?

There is a certain danger of course to be in a long distance relationship and the temptation may be high that something happens that you cannot control.

Your best option here is to have a serious talk with him when he comes back to India and if you want to be on the safe side, ask him to do a STD/STI test before you get intimate with him. However you realize that if you do that, you indicate directly that you do not trust him.

[Asker]

Yes he should've left or at least should've informed me the moment those girls joined them

[SueShe]

Ideally he should have indeed but he probably did not think that he would be caught or that his cousin puts the video online for you to see.

[Asker]

Exactly my point! He knew that his cousin posted that picture and that's why told me after.

[_Maya_]

"He knows how insecure I get" that was pretty much what I had yo read to have an opinion on your post. My question to you is why are you insecure? You don't mention that. You only mention this instance and nothing more. I bet there are some other things that have happened outside this particular event. It's admirable that you two have a long distance relationship because of his studies. What is not admirable is that you don't trust him. That is pretty clear that you don't. So what if he went out with friends? Is that a problem? Does the gender of people he talks to or is around really matter or is that the insecurities talking in your head? You are only going to push him away.

[Asker]

I'm insecure because things that happened in the past. He used to follow and like pictures of half naked girls and now he hangs out with those type of girls. There's one girl whom he used to like before we came into a relationship, she's still his friends and once they met and clicked pictures standing really close to each other and touching each other, I felt jealous that time too and told him how that makes me insecure but he repeated the same thing again and we again has a fight. When he first went to the US he started following a bunch of girls who didn't even followed him back and there are many more such instances. Also, I have a cheating father and this makes me more insecure that I'll get cheated too

[wassim97]

First you need to undertake that long relationship is very hard and it builds negative feelings all the time and if you just relax for a second and read what you said he did tell you that his cousin invited 2 girls with them and he didn’t know trust is the most important thing in a relationship and its hard to keep it in a long distance relationship talk with your boyfriend and sort things up he didn’t do anything wrong

[Asker]

But he told me after he came back. Don't you think he should've told me the moment those girls joined them?

[wassim97]

Well yes ideally he should’ve told you but the thing is that he didn’t hide it later on he told you after he came back

[Nikki1989]

You have to ask yourself what causes you to have all these insecurities.

[In_Trance]

dump him

[Asker]

Do you think that he did wrong?

[In_Trance]

I mean everybody's different but to me that spells some miscommunication. That's not how a relationship works. If there's really nothing to hide then why wouldn't you pay each other common courtesy