Is there any value in actually receiving closure from a man who ghosted you?

Question

He actually called me after he ghosted me and played me…(weeks later) I told him that it was weighing on my mental health… that’s the only reason but his closure did not make me feel better…

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Of course there's not and if you think that his words are going to make you feel better they're not
And the reason why..
Is because you know the truth already the only thing it's going to make you feel better is you because you are the only person on the inside of you it can do that..

Look when somebody ghost you breaks up with you whatever the very first thing you have to do is think about everything and be 100% honest I mean 100% down and dirty honest..

Whether it's your fault or his fault it doesn't matter what matters right now is you need to accept it you need to acknowledge it and accept it...
. There's a reason for everything in this world whether you understand them or not there's a reason for it don't beat yourself up over some guy that treat did you like the way he did I don't know if he got what he wanted and then left or what but whatever it happened it doesn't even matter now because that was yesterday what matters now is today

What did you learn from it and how much stronger did you get

Any relationship that you go into you have to go into it and before you jump in you have to say to yourself okay it's a 50/50 deal I can back up my 50 but I can't guarantee he can do his 50 and if he can't do his 50 what am I going to do I'm going to have to walk can I handle that is it worth it

And if you tell yourself yes go for it become the best partner you can become and if something happens and he wants to walk away or He cheats you have to say thank you thank you for showing me exactly who you are and thank you for only wasted this much of my time and walk away with your head held high because you did your part and let It Go,..

We all have been programmed in one way or another to feel bad for ourselves to be sad because we lost somebody we loved blah blah blah you didn't lose somebody you loved you. . You got lucky that he didn't take more from you and you got lucky that you're strong enough to make it through it because you know you will because you always have no matter what so you think the person for showing you exactly who he is and walk away...

Quit looking at things negative look at them positive he goes to you remember that's a positive because he shows you who he is what he's all about you don't want to be with the person like that do you no hold your head up high and say thank you buddy and move on and be happy make yourself happy again because that's all you can do quit wasting time he goes you and you want to waste time feeling bad forget that crap start living life again

blueonblack22 · Accepted Answer

I got ghosted after 9 months of dating once. My ex girlfriend was much younger and immature. In the back of my mind I knew it wasn’t impossible for her to do something that shitty but it still hurt.

This is the only time it’s okay to ghost someone:

They cheated on you
They legitimately harmed you with physical violence and/or threatened you. (However I don’t like the phrase “emotional” abuse though. It’s used to loosely e. g. Jonah Hill’s ex)
They stole money from you
They lied about something major (they have kids, have STDs, etc.)

All of the above are fundamental issues. But if your ex did none of above and you ghosted for other bs/lesser reasons it makes you a douchebag. Again you are a true douchebag.

So if you got ghosted for unfair or worse inexplicable reasons then you have to keep reminding yourself that what your ex did says an everything about them.

Also I noticed ghosted started out as female dbag issue a few years ago. But now men are doing it to women which is bs as well.

Xoxocutekitty · Accepted Answer

Only a few times has someone given helpful closure, every other time it's always about him relieving some guilt about treating a girl shitty.

Unhelpful closure:
- (most common) now that I've met the one, I can't believe I ever treated you so terribly because id never treat her like that. Sorry for being a jerk.
- it was me not you (cliche, vague).
- I wasn't ready to be in a relationship (but they did 3 weeks after breaking up, so definitely untrue)

Helpful closure:
- you were nice and I was lonely. Sorry I wasn't more upfront about it since it was clear you wanted more.
- i was experimenting and had never thought critically if I could introduce someone like you (age/race) to my friends/family. I realized I couldn't and that wasn't fair to you since it's something I could have thought about before getting involved.
- I was really bad at communicating because I wasn't looking forward to our dates anymore but didn't want the intimacy to end.

SweetJoyGirl · Accepted Answer

Nope.
That is the thing with men that come back. It doesn’t make you feel better. Frankly, I believe they are coming back to see if you are still stupid enough to take them back. Not to give you closure. So, be a wise one and don’t accept such acts from a man. Your worth is more than the validation of any man.

MisterWack · Answer

No, there isn’t even satisfaction when girls who ghosted me (regardless circumstance) explain themselves…

Summeroflove · Answer

Ghosting is cowardly I have more respect for someone who is honest in a respectful way that they don’t think things are working out or whatever it is.

Just give someone closure especially when people play games and leave people on the back burner

DextroShade · Answer

I think there is only value in that if he tells her why she was ghosted and she actually listens and accepts his reasoning. An example would be him saying "I ghosted you because you kept talking about your ex and you have slutty thirst trap pictures on your IG." and then she actually listens and takes the picks down and stops mentioning her ex.

Anonymous · Answer

No. It actually might make you feel worse. Especially if h told you he left you for another girl who was not only much nicer physically speaking but personality wise. That she tended to his needs, cooked for him, actually listens to him, etc. It could go either way.

V_Injector · Answer

What you want... a picture of me banging the midget I left you for?

WhitneySnow · Answer

I have never had this happen to me, but I think it would help to give me closure

Iron_Man · Answer

At first it is but then he did it again so it’s a waste of time you’re just like a third stringer disrespect

LiamJHayden · Answer

Someone who ghosts is not worth a second thought.

spartan55 · Answer

Closure from another is worthless.

scott04sa22 · Answer

I get ghosted all the time

EnjoytheDay777 · Answer

I think if things end on a good note...

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