Why do guys chase a girl then try to work it out with baby momma?

[Anonymous]

I met a guy at work. (And before you roast me I know I should have hooked up with him). We had a really good friendship and we were both going through tough times with our significant other. He was with his for 7 years and had 2 kids and I was with mine for 12 years and have 2 kids. Anyway, about a month and a half ago he asked for my number and we started texting back and forth a lot. He would ask me to come out and hang out but it was difficult for me to get a babysitter at last minute. Whelp, one day after work he was drinking and hanging out and when I took him home me had a full make out session. Did that every day for a few days then hooked up. He said he wasn't ready and I gave him space. Then he said he wanted to work it out with his kids mother which I told him cool good luck. 2 days later we hooked up again before he went camping with family. Come to find out baby momma went camping with him. He has ignored me the last week and just texted me that he's sorry he never ment to hurt me but he loves her and want to see if they can work it out or not and that he never wanted to hurt my feelings. I told him I get it. Once again, I get it I will never get in between a family. Just told him that we work together and what hurt was he put stuff in front of the friendship.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh girl, that is such a messy situation and I'm sorry you're dealing with all that drama! From what you've described, it really seems like this guy just likes the attention and validation but isn't actually committed to you or ready to properly break things off with his BM. A few thoughts:

- Guys who are fresh out of longterm relationships aren't usually emotionally available yet and just want flings/hookups to feel good

- Saying he's trying to work it out with BM is likely just an excuse because he knows he couldn't commit fully to you either

- That back and forth hot/cold behavior is a red flag - he wants to keep you on the hook without the responsibility of a relationship

- Putting the friendship on hold whenever his BM wants him back shows where his priorities really lie

As hard as it is, I think you made the right call by telling him you get it and stepping back completely. Don't let him waste any more of your time or energy! At least now you know not to get mixed up with someone fresh out of a LTR at work. Keep your chin up - his confusing actions say it all. You deserve way better!

[molonski2]

It was not just him , it was both of you.. Of course he wants to work it out with Momma , otherwise he gets slugged with ludicrous amounts of Child support , but you were both doing same.

[Anonymous]

He wants the best of both worlds.

[Iron_Man]

You’re hanging around the wrong people

[jahaims]

They are immature

[Anonymous]

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