Why do men get offended when women try to stop advances?

[happyfoetus]

In the past, there were multiple occasions when men try to flirt, I stop and they gaslight or remain in no contact. These are by no means my friends or dates.

Updates

1 y

Well couple of men, in power, would send suggestive texts or images and when I ask to stop, they say I interpret it wrong and be mean at work being mean.
They would send me very suggestive texts or pictures of lingerie and when I ask to stop, would say I took it wrong.

[blueonblack22]

You can and should turn down any guy’s advances if you are not interested. Also he’s got zero right to get angry. Especially if you just met this guy as an acquaintance or in the workplace.

Now he might get frustrated/disappointed. That’s just natural because nobody likes getting rejected. But if he takes it a step further and loses his temper and/or says something nasty then you need to get as far away from that as possible.

With that said there are a lot of women out there who still feel entitled to a man’s attention despite having no romantic interest in them. They think if the guy they turned down and/or friendzoned has some sort of duty to keep talking to them and/or being nice to them. Keep giving them validation and feel good attention.

While the no guy has a right to act like a dbag after being rejected, he also is completely in the right for moving on if your not interested. Why should he keep pursuing you? He’s under no obligation whatsoever to waste his time/energy by being “your friend” or some bs.

Even if he ghosts you after getting rejected then you should know exactly why. Don’t kid yourself. He’s not being “mean” if he does that. Rather he is just respecting himself because he sees you as a lost cause.

[Summeroflove]

Those are men who feel entitled to something from a woman he doesn’t even know (believe me there are women like this too) if a woman is very respectful as well as direct. She did him a massive favor by not wasting his time and being kind not stringing him along.

I appreciate you being direct not being a coward as long as you’re respectful. But some dudes are dangerous and despite the fact you never did anything to them they can hurt you so if I were you I would have sone sort of self defense like a gun.

If I flirt with a woman and she turns me down gracefully and directly. I appreciate that a million times more then someone who string me along now personally I don’t waste time with people who don’t give me a direct answer and I don’t really flirt with random women (unless she’s my waitress to get a free desert, JK) but if I did I would definitely appreciate not having my time wasted.

Especially because some girls have boyfriends and husbands. I genuinely respect a person whose loyal to the core and couldn’t even entertain someone else in that way.

[jojouzumaki]

I don’t think they were offended… they tried, got rejected and accept it. they’ll move forward and will pursue others. There’s nothing wrong with that.

[Ariesman81]

More to this than just that. This definitely sounds like a workplace fantasy to me. The "stop" is more like "Staaahp... Mr. Bossman" they're just not willing to risk their careers over it and it's making her feel rejected.

[Ariesman81]

My suggestion... if you want them to continue... ask for the link of the lingerie they like so you can buy it for your "boyfriend"

[Agape93]

They feel entitled to you and your time. When you say no it hits their pride and sense of entitlement

[MisterWack]

Maybe they like the attention without wanting the commitment though it is different between each individual since guys & girls aren’t a collective group, we do weird, dumb, selfish, stupid, crazy and insane shit for different reasons…. We as humans are a confusing bunch.

[236color]

I not going to tell what they are doing is right, it's not. Having said that, understand that men get turned down 99.999% of the time. They get frustrated and they get cynical. Often times this leads to passive aggressive behavior, that's what I'd say sending suggestive messages to someone you're not in an intimate relationship with is. "Shutting it down" quickly is usually the response women have after they've been though this a couple of times. I understand, and it isn't your responsibility to teach these guys better. It does lead some of them to spiral off into "red pill" "manosphere" or "incel" movements. Again it's not your responsibility to educate them and I'm not sure you could even do it, (because of their hard-headedness, not your inability has a teacher). It sure would be helpful if someone could get through to these guys that, being a dick, and/or sending pictures of your dick, is not going to get you where you want to go.

[ManOnFire]

I would want to be there and see if they're really flirting with you or if you just perceive it that way. You could very well be telling the truth, but I tend to take what young women have to say about situations like these with a grain of salt, because they usually think a guy is coming on to them in every way they imagine.

[disappoint3d]

I agree. This sounds like aww OP has a slightly inflated ego.

[RavVid]

There is that. Some women have thought that I have had sexual interest in them when I certainly didn't. I've been quite offended a few times and my internal reaction has been "What? YOU think I want to have SEX with YOU!!!".

Other women, at work, have acted in ways i could have interpreted as sexual interest. In one role I was the approver of work done. One girl came to me for review and pressed her thigh against mine for the whole review.

Men might proffer favors for sex and women might proffer sex for favors. Highly compatible.

The MeToo actresses were quite willing to trade sex for roles at the end of the day.

I don't find it that unlikely that deniable approaches are made by men just as women make deniable offers.

[ManOnFire]

@RavVid There is nothing more annoying than women you are not physically attracted to thinking you must be into them or trying to bed them. It really plucks a nerve.

[RavVid]

Yeah and they will be offended by you not being attracted even more than if you put the hard word on them.

[ManOnFire]

@RavVid Cold hard facts. I used to work with a girl that all the guys wanted to fuck, even the managers. She loved all that attention but even though we got along fine, I knew that deep down she resented me for not trying to pursue her like the others. In fact I think it puzzled her.

[LOLATYOULMFAO]

@disappoint3d "I agree. This sounds like aww OP has a slightly inflated ego."
99% of modern women have a WAAAAY over inflated ego.
You ask them "what do you rate yourself" 9 times out of 10 they say "10" or something stupid like "20" and stuff like "i am the table."
And 80% of women go after the top 5-10% of men. You dont do that unless you think you are on their level.
DELUSIONAL AS F-
Bunch of narcissists.

[disappoint3d]

@LOLATYOULMFAO kinda refreshing to here this for a woman and not feel like I'm just delusional for once.

[RavVid]

Funny :). Your lack of attention probably nonplussed her.

Worked in a building which had a call center and smokers would go to an area on their break. It was quite obvious the call girls collected men like stamps and competed on who had the most men joining them at smoko.

[EzraIsShy76028]

Because they're narcissistic egomaniacs with fragile egos, pretty much.

When things don't go how they want or expect they get furious because then it shows they're not the center of the universe.

[Oncewildtwiceburned]

“I stop” then “they remain in no contact”

Good for them. You stop, they don’t bother you and see themselves out of your life. This is no longer a “them” problem.

[DrPepper12]

Those men who are by definition harassing you especially if it's in the workplace are lying manipulative desperate snowflakes. If they don't stop I would very politely but firmly tell them that we can discuss it with HR.

[JasonBD7]

In my experience, women are taught not to give in too fast or they are “sluts”


and guys are taught to pursue the chase

[Jackblue]

It is wrong for them to stalk or gaslight you, but don't blame them for not wanting to talk to you anymore, getting rejected is humiliating, it is not your fault that they feel uncomfortable, but it is inevitably how they feel all the same.

[molonski2]

Well , with due respect.. What exactly would you expect?

[Decoded93]

A real man will move on and let you be, rejection sucks but you gotta just accept it

[RavVid]

A lot of girls bring up their boyfriend. I think that is a good way to do it.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Sensitive egos and lack of self respect of themselves.

It's super embarrassing if someone doesn't want you to touch them yet you keep insisting touching them elevating them as if they are special.

[luvstoned4him]

Only men who dont respect you or your boundaries behave that way

[normalice]

More defensive than offended.

Because it bruises their ego.

[spartan55]

This whole story is F-A-K-E. Watch, OP will post about this workplace that has no HR to speak of.

[genericname85]

ever heard the saying "hurt people hurt people"? if you reject them, they are hurt. that's why they react offended.

[RingOfFire]

These guys obviously have some kind of issues to send you stuff like that in the first place. You can't explain the behavior of jerks.

[Ariesman81]

So... you're flirting... you stop (probably to see if he'll pursue), and then get mad when he feels rejected and stops?

[CB-Raido-Time]

Why do women do the exact same thing even going as far to call a man gay when the man turns them down?

[jahaims]

Only an immature man does that. He doesn't respect the female at all if he acts like that.

[Thecuriousbird]

It can hurt emotionally, kind of breaks previously developed love-bonds or reduces expectations

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Same reason why women get offended when men try to stop advances

[privateanon]

because its a soft form of rejection but its still a rejection and some men have too fragile an ego to tolerate it.

[Anonymous]

What does it mean that they "remain in no contact?"

[Kingofkings1992]

Some men * don’t lump an entire gender into one category

[Flvr0]

Because of the ever so fragile male ego.

[Radiate143]

Men feel entitled.

[Tomisworthless]

Ego gets hurt its their pride

[Anonymous]

How do they gaslight you?

[LiamJHayden]

I don't.