Yes just stop it
No women still like to be approached
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Please select your age
Some men definitely should. That will leave more women for the men who are actually desirable. Desirable doesn't mean tall, rich, gym rats. Desirable means being genuine and masculine and not being a shallow, creepy douche who has a low opinion of women and zero social skills.
Scaredy cat male cry babies crack me up. "I'm afraid I'll go to prison if I talk to a girl." ROFL
Those kind of guys don't deserve relationships and shouldn't be allowed to reproduce.
"Some men definitely should. That will leave more women for the men who are actually desirable", as in creeps and abusers who have no shame.
I've got pretty mad uline features yet I dont approach women because of all the articles they wrote attacking us as a group and how we're all predators who harass.
The only people ignorant to this are the aforementioned subcategory of men. Ones who actually have a brain in their head are more hesitant nowadays, and check she's without a doubt interested before approaching to avoid accusations.
Agreed! 🙏🏼
@Lliam You have a point. If guys want to stop approaching women that's on them, and is just going to leave more available women for the rest of us. TBH women are just a numbers game, the more you approach them and practice the more success you'll have. If you create enough value in yourself you won't have to worry about approaching because they will approach you.
Thanks, Vegasrunner. Yes, that's all I'm saying.
But honestly, I don't understand the hyperbolic fear that you can go to prison for going near a woman. I wonder if those guys ever leave their rooms out of fear in general.
And you're right, there are lots of women. Very, very few are psychopaths. And more you play the numbers game, the greater your chance of success. But if you are comfortable being celibate, that's alright, too.
@coachTanthony @lilam you guys are dicks. Some guys are shy and it is incredibly sexist in this day and age of equality to expect men to adhere to traditional gender roles while women are free not to. Men and women should both be EQUAL in the burdens as well as the benefits. Asking an introvert to be more social or less shy is like asking an extrovert to become less social and quiet. Doesn't work that way. You guys think it's fair or right not only to demonize more introverted guys but to rub their noses in the fact that it's you who wants to keep them from having happiness too. That's why you're dicks.
@mark000h Some guys are shy? Don't be shy. Women don't like shy and if they do it's a fetish. Don't hate the player.
@coachTanthony CoachT guy blocked me like a pu$$ because i asserted that everyone from "players" to introverts should be able to remain themselves without having sexist gender roles. Called him a dick, he is.
@mark000h what are you talking about? I am right here.
@Vegasrunner They do and have, which is why I don't cold approach; they show the signs. Creeps and douches have the "more for us" take on this, whilst sensible men let them come to us to avoid issues.
It may be a numbers game for men like you chasing uninterested women, but its a value game for men like us who attract them. Unless you're using and abusing, you dont need "more", you're looking for One partner. Im above this "more for me" mentality, but Im equally sick of being associated with the "more for us" men by feminists and the media.
@Bl0n6eguy. You make a lot of assumptions about how I met my girlfriends. But I certainly didn't act like a girl by waiting for someone to approach me first.
"Avoid issues" = fear of issues. Fear. Girls are so mean and scary!
As I alluded to earlier, there are two questions. What kind of girls are you looking for? And where do you seek them.
I never sought girls at bars or clubs. I never approached a stranger in public. I wasn't looking for fashion models. I liked normal, pretty, nice girls.
I was good at picking up signals.
You can call me jaded, you can call me hesitant, you can't call me hateful; I only resent those who slander All men. I am approached - interrupted when writing this my a woman asking for directions - but I ignore "signs". I had a feminist upbringing at school, studied at college during MeToo, and was asked on a date by one too (she brought up politics at lunch and got half the bill).
Do you think this may have had an impact? I know I've got confidence issues as a consequence of all that, which is why I'm working to overwrite that.
Im playing things safe; and since they're the ones pitching, the ball is in my court.
@Lliam in my opinion a lot of guys use the fear of prison to justify them being unable to approach women. I worked as a VIP host in Vegas for nearly a decade and my job was to approach hundreds of women a day and TBH I can count on one hand the number of women that were rude, even the ones not interested were usually appreciative and polite so it seems like such an irrational fear.
@Bl0n6eguy Lol, how is that my problem? If you don't want to approach women, don't. As I mentioned building up value in yourself is also a good strategy. Yes a basic mam w/ no game and limited experience is looking for "1 partner primarily because he's unable to get anything else. About 80% of men fall into this category which is why those of us in the 20% are the ones getting all the women. It's unfortunate you're frustrated, but your still going to have to compete w/ guys like me and are going to always lose out because of your insecurities.
@Vegasrunner TF are you making up? I said there's too many landmines out there to just run into the minefield: you've gotta look for signs and know how to navigate [especially in my city].
Didn't say I was frustrated with anything except Feminist articles slandering men as a whole. If yesterday is anything to go by, getting positive attention is entirely covered, I just have no game.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with finding one partner and rejecting others when together. That is the way of my culture, polygamy is illegal here.
Mr po-Tate-to head attracts those seeking his fame/infamy & money; sorry but they're not the types I'm into.
@Bl0n6eguy I live in a city we're over 40 million people annually visit to have fun and hook up so I've seen it all. Rejection is not a landmine it's simply a learning experience. You're overthrowing and pedestalizing women, which is why u are failing.
You have no game because you don't practice.
It's not a wrong or right issue, you dont have a choice because you can't find anyone if you had the ability to attract more women you would take advantage of those options.
Again who "your into" isn't relevant because they're not into you. Justify it how you want but where has that attitude gotten you?
Nope keep approaching with respect and care and you will be fine. It's the men who won't take no for an answer that gives the rest of men all a bad name.
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Please the whiners, perfect the way you are Momma boys with fear of rejection and scared to Risk……
Run to your corner and tremble in fear whilst you hide behind some dude with all the blaming reasons of why you may not Risk.
From fear to gently touch/rape, to waste of money, and to whatever else conceived blaming of others for both your shortcomings and situation that you come up with
Both the “Nerds/Smart” and “Pretty People”… ie “the 5%-10%” thank you very much for your cooperation in our Success.
Yeah, I’m out of Money too but my rate of Return upon minor Risk is acceptable.
Yeah guys should still approach, he should be polite and if turned down he should accept that and go on his way. Gals should also approach more but I'm not sure if that will ever really happen.
I went to a penny arcade place, i was feeling a bit down and I've always enjoyed it as a kid. I was minding my own business even had my headphones in so didn't actually notice him to begin with but took them out and said sorry what was that. And he said looks like your winning a lot want me to refill it for you and I was like of course thanks. And he actually handed me a little ornament said here you are since you're really cute, to which I replied, well you ain't so bad yourself. Had a couple more back and fourths and he asked me for my number and also asked if I wanted to get a drink after he got off work. And I did, that was a very cute little fling I had lol
A loud and dangerous minority of women make approaching such a minefield that many younger men have chosen to avoid it entirely.
Go on, post your "Rope-Culture" & "Men are bad" articles a you want, we'll respond with Malicious Compliance.
I see women glancing and fiddling with their hair suspiciously often lately, but since Feminists said not to approach women, they can twirl their hair until it unscrews as far as I stand.
In this day and age they have to be the initiator to avoid the guy coming off as a creep; otherwise, the only accepted way to meet is through being regular acquaintances or fate sparking a conversation between us.
The problem with this is that women never want to be seen as the initiator, yet they have relegated themselves to this position through the rhetoric of their supposed representatives.
I know some of you think this is bullshit but it’s become a fucking trend on TikTok to record men looking at them in their skimpy cloths while working out then blasting them on social media…
Ide feel bad if they ever did this to me. I don’t handle women with kid gloves anymore when they act like this. Act like your equal ima treat you like your equal.
@suzzieQ Inform yourself better... Just from the first search I made, I quote... wikipedia!!
"According to the data given by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime, worldwide, 78.7% of homicide victims are men, and in 193 of the 202 listed countries or regions, men were more likely to be killed than women."
So next time don't generalize like that... The reason democracy is flawed is because of ignorant people who are manipulated in every way by the media and then spread that official truth, which isn't true at all, though sometimes very well buried. Don't you think there is interest for you to believe what you are saying?
@Lliam nobody said hate, OP said they are following the demands of feminists to the letter by not approaching women, no matter what gestures they use.
Its the only way to avoid reputational mines called Rad-Fems who sit beneath the water and explode once you're in range. The only way to guarantee the safety of your ship is to circumvent the minefield by heeding the signs they put up. If there are mermaids in the minefield, they'll have to swim to you.
OP said they're bitter about man-hating articles because they've always followed their demands and is sick of being tarred by association.
@Opinion owner. That's why frightened boys should stay away from women. They should stay home and safe with their mommies. Justify their timidness by hiding from the real world and, instead, immersing themselves in on-line studies about how evil women are. Scary! Scary! Danger, Will Robinson!
Remain voluntarily or involuntarily celibate. It's cool. Nobody cares.
Either that or learn which women to approach and how to approach them.
@guy_123. Is wikipedia a reliable source? LOL
@Lliam I also think that guys should learn how to approach or deal with women in the correct way rather than give into a self-defeatist mindset. At the same time, it's not doing anyone any good to try and shame men for wanting to stay away from women given how 'dangerous' the dating market has become. Just as someone else mentioned, there is a trend right now where gym girls are falsely accusing men of being 'creeps' and blasting them on the internet. And that's just one example. I see you're pushing the age of 70. You have to understand that dating today is NOT the same as when it was for you back in the day. A LOT has changed, especially for guys around my age. Men should be more 'careful' than ever before. One wrong thing said or done, and you'll have a false (rape) allegation on top of your head. So I can UNDERSTAND why there are men out there who choose to stay away from dating.
But then again, I'm a 'risk taker'. I indulged in female nature and know my way around women, who I should get with and who I should not. Hence why I found a wonderful girlfriend whom I am growing stronger with with every passing day. Instead of trying to shame men for being cautious about a modern phenomenon, perhaps its best to acknowledge there is indeed a fair, a well justified one, but it's not severe enough to give up the opportunity to actually find someone suitable.
Because what you're doing is no different than telling a woman to have some guts and talk to men when there are a lot of actual creeps and dangerous men out there. And sure, in order to find the right one, she must put herself out there, but there is no need to shame her for being afraid that things could turn out bad. Encouragement is indeed.
@TruthBringer You're right. I dont think most older men realise what its like trying to navigate the utter minefield that men in my generation have to navigate. Women of my generation (Z) are like UXB; you can't tell if its unarmed untill you observe enough signs to believe it is – even then it might be primed to Go.
Its not I don't get attention , im not "high quality" yet, but I'm complimented on my looks - but having gone through the MeToo McCarthyism era at Uni I am hesitant on Cold Approaches (which is the topic of this question).
Its not like I dont get attention*
@Opinion Owner Very well spoken! Older generations often like to 'guide' the younger, but that can only go so far. I value older people's knowledge and experience, but only if applying them is relevant. In this case, an older person cannot help someone of our generation in things like dating. Things have changed way more. On top of that, we live in a 'cancel culture' society where it is incredibly easy to be dragged to court for either a lie or something that is extremely trivial.
So I understand why so many (young) men choose not to play at all. I encourage that only until they actually indulge in learning more about women and women's psychology, so they can navigate the dating market much more safely. It's only after I started to learn more about female nature that I stopped getting in toxic relationships. And when seeking a partner, I always know what 'types' of women to avoid that are more likely to ruin my life (drug addicts, wokeys, feminists, the mentally ill, the hedonists, etc.).
I believe if Lliam here actually knew the severity of the issues that people of our generation have to go through, he would be a bit more understanding and less patronizing.
@TruthBringer I couldn't agree more. Lately I've been getting a lot of attention from women whenever I go out, I have no clue why but Im told Im handsome, they sit near, and they fiddle with their hair (as previously described).
If it wasn't for all the horror stories out there, and my subsequent approach anxiety, I could possibly respond to any of these attractive women... Not to say it'd go anywhere with my inexperience, but it wouldn't be a Cold Approach in these cases.
Unfortunately, I also attract the crazies... Like the short green haired, nose ringed, um, woman (?) who sat next to me today (large_side-step. exe).
Do you have any tips, references or a MyTake to help other guys know what to look out for once they've broken through the "Ick barrier" you could call it?
@Opinion Owner, yeah stay far away from the exotic haired, tattooed and pierced type of girls. These types are notorious for having mental health issues that will most definitely poison your life. When it comes to your request for advice, it's best for you to send me a PM. I'll gladly discuss the things you want to talk about over there. Other than that, your best move is to indulge in the red pill philosophy. The RP has helped me TREMENDOUSLY in my own personal dating life, and taught me what women to seek and what women to avoid. It will also teach you on female nature and how to navigate the current dating world properly. Men who have indulged in the red pill and know how to apply the knowledge are 10 steps ahead of the majority of men out there.
@suzzieQ yes, well, that's the current Stalemate. They show interest, wait around and sometimes try to get my attention and I ignore them out of inexperience - they're Good Looking most of the time...
Two did this in the last hour at the Café I was at. The second was more overt. Weirdest experience was when a footballer flirted with me at my work (weird star alignment, I can tell you). She repeatedly flicked up her jacket to show her butt when we were alone. "Do I follow football? Not really, my uncle was a big fan though " - me.
So Im a Undercooked Man, or whatever you'd call it. Ready on the outside, underdone on the inside.
The halo effect: Mostly works for women, but also applies to men; the thing is, not all attention is wanted.
Might as well stop, women on want the top 1% of men out there.
Women want men to approach them, but they only want a certain type.
And at the same time stop respecting them, treating them nice, helping, taking care of them, basics start treating women the way they treat the vast majority of men like crap.
I would suggest you stay off of Redditt. lol That is a bunch of malarkey.
@LegendaryDater agreed, that guys is out of touch
@LegendaryDater Yes and many women feel the same way about men wanting certain women. Also not true.
The women I meet o line compared to the women I meet in person are different. The women online are hateful sluts bent on the domination of masculinity. Neo-Nazi feminists looking for equality where their less then men and privilege where their better…
In person though women are much kinder. They still don’t want me but at least their not asses. There’s women that say their afraid a man will take rejection wrong… honestly good. It’s only because we fear consequences we don’t do whatever we want. I think that’s a good thing. Maybe instill the fear of god in some of these damn kids while we’re at it…
@VanillaSalt so you want to scare women into talking to you than wonder why you have shit luck with them…. Big mystery there
Fyi this isn't true but if it were they'd be setting themselves up for failure because every woman can't have your theoretical top 1%. Sorry if you've had experiences not go as you wished but don't say all women act like this. I hate when people generalize about all men are... and all women are... You're too old to act like a child
"Women want the top 1% of men out there."
1. So why aren't you in the top 1%?
2. Doesn't everyone pick someone they believe is in the top?
3. Do you really want a woman who just settled for you?
@TrueConfection. What's funny about guys who think women want the top 1% of men is that those men want the top1% of women. Fucking idiots. There are millions of desirable women who don't fit the yacht girl standard.
@TrueConfection, my wife and I feel the same way about each other. :-)
Yes, that is correct. All you guys should avoid approaching any women. I agree to take a hit for the team by continuing to approach them. I also agree to report back periodically.
@LiamJHayden you’re getting close just over shot. People shouldn’t approach people who don’t want to be approached. It’s really very simple. Unless someone is giving clear signals they want to be approached, don’t.
No, men should not stop approaching women altogether. Approaching someone in a respectful and appropriate way is not inherently harmful or wrong. It's important to remember that most women want to be treated with respect.
It's important to pay attention to nonverbal cues and to respect someone's boundaries no matter what their gender, if they indicate that they are not interested in interacting. It's also important to recognize that everyone has different preferences and boundaries when it comes to social interactions, and to respect those differences.
Not at all , why pass up on someone that you find beautiful and that might have amazing chemistry and connection with? Yes you aren’t going to hit it off with every girl but it’s better To take the chance then to not take the chance at all , I know some girls can be rude right from the start but that’s not your problem , that’s her problem , it’s not like we walk around with signs flashing over our heads saying what we are
Into or what are relationship status is so if she is rude right from the start just say I’m sorry to bother you and walk away and be a gentleman about it , Most girls will say wait !! i am sorry for being a bitch, I was just having a bad day , or if she doesn’t say anything at all just walk away , at least you tried , it’s better to try then not try at all is how I look at it
The reality of this question is quite sad. Men have to approach because to women most men are the same so you have to make yourself known. Women shoot their shot by making themselves available, they’re not going to approach men cause they’re socialized differently. So no, men should not stop approaching, it’s just become a bit more difficult post me too. So here’s some tips to navigate it for everyone.
1. Approach in a public setting
2. The interaction should be fun and light but direct.
3. Be respectful. Goes without saying but for everyone’s sake this means being upfront about your intentions and don’t insult them.
4. Take their decline with dignity. Don’t get angry or walk away defeated. Say “have a nice day” and try approaching someone different.
The last one goes for women as well. The times where I’ve declined a woman’s advances has often gone into some sort of belittling or not taking no for an answer.
Yes, please stop. The less competition I have, the better.
lol yes right on
Tough question. I don't think guys should do anything that disempowers them. But the number of approaches you'd need to make to get the outcome you want likely isn't worth the effort, especially if you're an average guy. And depending on the context, might actually incur consequences that you don't want.
But what I do think men need to stop is online dating and simping over women's social media. Have some personal pride guys.
The person who wants something to happen should make a move.
Couldn't agree more ms.
There shouldn't be any rules in this. Unfortunately a lot of people still think there are and end up alone.
@LegendaryDater I agree but there are safer ways to make a move. And I'm all for cold approach but doubt that's what women are talking about when they say approach.
That sounds very similar to 'Who ever does the asking pays'
But it’s hardly ever the women that approach… truth is right. It’s the bs argument of whoever asks pays. We know it will be men asking.
It's easiest when everyone pays for their own bit. Maybe I'm weird but I find it insulting to the person you date, and insulting to myself. It comes over as if I can't take care of myself.
@Ms_Facesitter on the other hand I've always hated best friends to interfere from the beginning as if this was a triangle thing.
Ya that’s my point facesitter… “I find it insulting” where as other women are grateful… that’s a pretty fucking large gap there. Pretty fucking large gapOne way gets you hated one gets you respected. And you can’t be sure until you try… unless you ask first. Now how many things do I need to ask first to make sure your comfortable? Who paying? Can I hole the door for you? Should I walk on the side of the street? Can I hold your hand? Can I kiss you? Can I insert it? Jesus fuck. If it’s gonna be like that y’all can die alone I’m not interested.
Of course I'd be grateful if he insists, but when that bill comes I will always tell him that I will pay for what I ordered. I wouldn't let you touch in the dark for that :)
But if you insist and want to pay, I won't make a big deal out of it. I just find the mentality to expect him to pay an insult to yourself. It feels to me as though you can't pay for it yourself while my date " has" to pay without even knowing if something will come out of it. I find the whole thing a bit weird.
Weird to say but it I see it as spending money on some gambling machine.
No. We can encourage women to approach men more, but that doesn't mean we need to tell men to stop. Most girls who aren't weird actually like being approached granted the guy does it respectfully, even if he isn't her ideal.
@AmyHew1tt suzzieq is the reason we can’t. Question answered.
@VanillaSalt if she doesn’t want you to approach, don’t. Really it’s not that complicated
Yeah sure let me just finish this mind reading hat I’ve been working on… dumbass.
@VanillaSalt Lol, I'm so sorry these women exist. But honestly, despite what the media makes it seem, they are on the minority side. Most girls don't want to admit it, but we do like being approached, granted the approaching is respectful.
@suzzieQ It's only simple if they've actually approached you and you're giving off 'not interested.' But on an average day, doing the average thing, I can understand how it would be difficult to gauge whether someone is willing to be approached or not.
I just don't see why it would be a problem unless they don't take the hint, are behaving inappropriately, or actually harassing you. It doesn't mean you have to take them up on it. But unless we're doing all the approaching, we have to accept that if we want any guy to show an active interest, we're going to be approached by some we have no attraction to. We can't magically only attract the men we want.
We’re starting to see that now but… aside from hair color how are we supposed to tell the difference between the one that will have us arrested for sexual harassment and the one that will sexually harass us for good behavior lol?
But also something to consider. There’s a lot of guys that never approached in person. They don’t know what their doing or what to expect. It’s a skill you have to work on so the first few times might be creepy. Hell they might be creepy into their 30s. But think about it… these guys don’t know what to expect then the only thing they see is psycho women online saying don’t approach me.
The fact is women’s voices have too much power in society especially leveraged against a man. The systems broken allowing women unchecked freedom while men and mens spaces are trampled. Then the tenants under which we join are missing… I can give examples. I can give examples. The boys scouts now allow women without contest but have you seen women’s sports, locker rooms, bathrooms with the transgender movement? It was okay for women but not okay for a sick in the head Fred? If one isn’t acceptable neither should be. Girls scouts are still only for women by the way. A few years back a man was arrested for sexual assault while helping a lady with her tire. He served 6 months and they took another 6 weeks to release him after he was found innocent by video evidence. He lost his job, friends, and even family turned against him. On the lying word of a woman without evidence. Even once he was cleared he couldn’t get his job back. That’s permanently on his record. And marriage… Women are too god damn masculine these days. Loud and annoying. Even the traditional women are more irritating then usual. The odds of divorce… the cost of divorce… and I’m not talking financial cost either. Men lose their home, family’s, children… because for women custody is naturally theirs from the start.
What you wants all well and good but what about what we want?
@VanillaSalt and I am not the reason why you can't do anything, if you want to look at what is really causing the problem, allow me to direct you to these news articles.
www.foxnews.com/.../texas-man-abducted-beat-woman-who-rejected-him-cops-say
nypost.com/.../
www.foxnews.com/.../man-assaults-woman-who-rejected-him-bites-off-another-mans-finger-in-drug-induced-attack-cops-say
www.huffpost.com/.../mary-spears-mark-dorch-detroit_n_6151152
www.news.com.au/.../6b8d052480061db442e146ec1a0d7ddd
www.mic.com/.../14-women-were-brutally-attacked-for-rejecting-men-why-arent-we-talking-about-it
www.newsweek.com/florida-yoga-studio-gunman-likened-himself-incel-killer-elliott-rodger-1200452
Lol yep bad things happen should I point out on the the dozens of inappropriate teacher student relationships which arnt treated as assault if the students a boy?
@VanillaSalt Exactly. There are examples of all of it from both sides, blowing us all into fear and twisting things so we villainize each other. It's a bit hopeless.
@VanillaSalt Who doesn't treat them as assault? Never met a woman who thought that was in any way okay, on the other hand I've seen plenty of guys make gross comments like "lucky boy", it's disgusting.
I know more about the real world than I should at this point.
The point is that women are raised and taught to be warry or strange men from the beginning, we are taught by our fathers, our grandfathers, uncles and brothers to be careful and protect ourselves and not to put ourselves in dangerous situations because you never know if the guy that just walked up to you is the next Ted Bundy or Scott Beierle.
@mateta_haidara the same way a man who is approaching you might only want to use you. There is always risk.
I have approached women and got approached by women, nothing bad ever happened.
I think that by being polite and genuinely interested most people will be at least pleasantly surprised to be approached in a friendly way.
I stopped over 20 years ago. It's worked out very well for me, because I've never had any harassment charges nor workplace disciplinary action. And I've never been thrown out of a club. I consider that a matter of pride. Not a lot of men can say that.
@AmandaYVR What's so funny? Lol
@AmandaYVR I HOPE I'm in the majority! But it's doubtful.
Hell no lol. I'm not having that on my profile! 😆
Well I know I've stopped approaching women a long time ago because my results always ended the same way repeatedly and just got really tired of it. If I do continue on approaching women, either they will get creeped out way beyond to quickly (which I think it's ridiculous) or they'll just toss me in the friendzone. Either way the end results are never promising.
Ladies men and men whores,... that's different. 3.8 billion women will be chasing after the ladies men, and to have baby daddies or/& side guys,... they'll be chasing after the men whores. Yes I know that's way too blunt and excessive to say something like this, but believe it or not... it's true. Let's just say I hear somethings like this all the time.
Well then that just means men will never find true love. :1 Or get the goody goods from the girl.
Goody goods?
they should stop approaching them in the wrong ways...
If you want to date someone, you should make a move. If not, enjoy your single life and stop whining.
Nah. I go get in public open my radars and see if some girl is giving me signals and I go approach them. I don't think men should stop approaching because I love the curiosity and excitement of it
If you find a girl attractive, then let her know and ask her out. If she's not interested, then say okay and back off. It's not that hard to gauge.
The rule is don't approach unless the woman makes the first move by saying "Hi" or otherwise indicating she is willing to be approached.
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