Why hasn't he called me out or left, yet?

[Anonymous]

I feel like I am driving him away, but he never seems to actually be moved by my behavior.
I like him, but we live fart apart so he doesn't want to date.
When we text, it's because I reach out and sometimes we have a good conversation, but often he takes days to reply.
When I ask if he wants me to stop contacting him, he tells me he doesn't mind me reaching out.
We talked a few days ago but then he left the conversation and didn't respond again for 2 days.
Still, he never says I should stop texting or that I bother him - even when I ask him about it.
Why?

[OfMiceandMen]

I think he realizes it for what it is and just wants to casually talk because he likes you but the distance is an issue.

I think you should consider what you want out of the "relationship" and not rely on him to make the decision. It's your call too, and if it's not what you want, then perhaps take the reigns and make the call yourself.

[Asker]

I want to keep contact, because I enjoyed his company and think he's really kind.
My mind is constantly in a rush so I overthink everything and all becomes chaos.
In the past, it has caused people to pull away, but he hasn't yet and sometimes I worry I'm missing signs that he will, or maybe he just isn't as bothered about it.

Thank you for responding.

[OfMiceandMen]

Then you have to be patient and maybe limit your discussions to a certain time period. Most guys don't live on their devices. If you're speaking to each either via text or on facebook we can only take so much before we need a break so him leaving you hanging may suggest he's had enough for now and will pick the conversation back up when he's ready. Don't get put off by this and let him respond get back to you when he is ready.

[OfMiceandMen]

Time for me to head out, good luck with him.🍀

[Asker]

Thank you for the insight 🍀

[OfMiceandMen]

No problem, hope what I said helps... even a little.

[Asker]

One more question: would it be ok to tell him I appreciate his patience w/ me, or is that too much? He hasn't responded to other texts I sent but I can't tell if that's because he doesn't think it necessary to respond or doesn't want to respond...

[OfMiceandMen]

I can't see where telling him that you appreciate him being patient with you would hurt, but I would not keep bombarding him with texts after that. Just let him come around on his own time frame.

[Asker]

Well, I no longer expect him to, but as it is, we won't be talking again. 😅

[spartan55]

I would stop asking hm that, it's very annoying.

[Asker]

Do you think it would be ok to message that I appreciate his patience with me, knowing he has things going on himself?
Or should I not reach out, considering he hasn't responded to my last message?

[spartan55]

The guy said he doesn't want to date you... so why are you bothering?

[Asker]

Because he also asked to stay in touch and meet again some point in the future.
Sometimes I just get a little overtly excited in talking to people, and never really know if I'm crossing boundaries.
So I just want to express gratitude and let him know I don't mean to cause any difficulties.

[Nikki1989]

“When we text, it's because I reach out and sometimes we have a good conversation, but often he takes days to reply.”

— So you don't know how to talk?

[Asker]

What do you mean?