He didn't call me for over a month, so why would he call now?

I started seeing this guy in October. We had excellent chemistry, immediately. His best friend is married to my best friend and we have known each other since the wedding, he was a groomsman and I was a bridesmaid, he hit on me shamelessly, but I was there with my boyfriend and denied him. Apparently he is known for being a player and couldn't believe that I shut him down (he is a super handsome bodybuilder who couldn't believe I would choose my boyfriend over him). Girls never say no to him. So about a year after myh boyfriend and I broke up, I saw him again and we hit it off immediately. He called me after that and we would only chat on the phone about once a week for 5 minutes and then see each other about every other weekend (he lives about an hour away). I told him I didn't want a boyfriend, but that I really liked him and I knew from his friend that he was dating at least 2 other girls besides me. I felt jealous, but I was dating other people too. I would have preferred to be with only him. He also claimed that he wanted to be single. So it was a mutual understanding, just dating, which consisted of our friends parties or dinner and then a great sleep over then breakfast the next morning and. He called me on Dec. 20 to hang out during my Christmas break, I invited him up on the 21st and he said he would be there. I was excited. I had plans fall through on the 22nd and called him to hang out, left a message.

Later that day his friend gossiped to me that he had mentioned he wasn't coming that Friday (the 21st). So I got pissed and our mutual friend told him not to call me cause I was mad. So he never returned my call that weds nor did he call to cancel on Friday. Just before new years our mutual friend told him that I was over it and that things were cool between us and that I thought it was just too "high school" drama... He told our friend he was going to call me that day (still before New Years) but he never did... I never called him nor did I ask his friend about him. I cut it off although I still secretly liked the person he showed me he was before he got flakey. Anyway, he called me last night (Jan. 25) to see how I was. He mentioned wanting to come over (even though I didn't invite him) but that he had had a hard week and he was tired. He said to call him to hang out and I said "I don't call boys." He said that he would call me then. I told him that would be ok. I may have come off a bit bitchy, but I was just so surprised. We may be going to the same superbowl party and I am excited to see him but..... I am confused about why he would call now? Does he just want things to be cool, or does he want to start things up again? Secondly, even though I don't typically call guys, what do you think would be his response if I invited him up to stay with me the day before the superbowl party (since it's a far drive). I would really like to see him? It wouldn't just be a booty call to me, how can I start things back up?


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What Guys Said 1

  • It's not clear what he thinks of you, since you've never tried dating each other. He at least likes and respects you enough to call.

    I think that your "mutual friend" was running the show when you were previously interested in the guy, since he interfered with yours and your partner's communication by getting involved in your business.

    The choice to call him or to wait is yours, but if he's a known player, you may want to stay away from situations that allow him to play the game in autopilot mode (i.e. inviting him to your house). Just be careful not to make too many assumptions about how he feels or what he's thinking. If you want a relationship with him, take it one step at a time.


What Girls Said 1

  • the exact thing happened to me...(he was a player too) but you know what this guy whom I was dating had a girlfriend whom he was seein..so he didn't bother to call me...and aftr a month wen he was fed up of her he mrembered me...so I jus gav up oon him and asked him to stop ...callin me.. he said ok...but he called me the next week to say "i lov u" (that was jus to get me into the sack) and I thot id giv him a last chance...trust me...it was no use..i still feelt he mets othr gals ..so I finaaly gav up..im not sayin the same may hold true 4 u...but as I see the 1st half of ur story is like my past...hope the othr half is not... so learn fromothrs experience..try and test him that's all I can say