Is it acceptable for men to display his emotions around women?

[JamieRobinson1994]

I was having a debate yesterday with my girlfriend of two months while we were in the car about whether men should show their emotions to their partners. I told her that she’d never see me cry on her shoulder, but she reassured me that she wouldn’t judge me if it did happen. I responded by saying that, in my opinion, women, including her, aren’t attracted to emotionally weak men. Even if a woman says she’s okay with a man crying on her shoulder, I believe she would lose respect and attraction for him. No amount of convincing would change my mind about this.

From my personal experiences and the podcasts I listen to, I’ve learned that women often act based on their feelings, not their words. For example, if you ask a woman whether she values looks or personality more, she’ll likely say personality. However, in reality, she’d only swipe right on the top 20% of men on dating apps and ignore at least 80% of DMs she receives on Instagram.

Women are attracted to masculine traits in men, like charm, confidence, charisma, leadership, assertiveness, ambition, and stoicism. Controversial I know but I don’t make the rules and this is a take from someone who’s school cry baby. During my teens and a significant part of my twenties, women never wanted to get to know me whether it’s short or long term because they were disgusted by the weak traits I displayed and being insecure about my physical appearance and being bullied a lot made it a lot worse. I exhibited behaviours that aren’t masculine, such as poor social skills, shyness, insecurity, nervousness, vulnerability, indecisiveness, and emotional sensitivity.

I got into my first relationship 2 months ago as result of consistent self-improvement including looksmaxxing and adopting masculine behavioural traits that women look for.

Would you encourage your man to be opened with his emotions and would encourage men to be little bit emotionally even though your feminine instincts would be disgusted by it?

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

You have some confusion running here, between emotion display and emotional balance.
There is no trend I know of where women say they are attracted to someone emotionally unstable. Because someone emotionally unstable is similar to a 5yo kid in need of parent love and guidance, this doesn't mix well with romance as you can guess lol.

What you can hear from women is that they could appreciate seeing men expressing emotions instead of constantly masking or repressing what they feel, such masking which fools no one experienced enough in life anyway. Especially not fooling people raising kids.

What women could appreciate is emotional balance from a man, instead of this masquerade of bros thinking they are strong when in fact they are just inhibited, repressed and lacking in self-awareness. Also yes, such inhibition is reinforced and praised by whatever bro guru we can find babbling on social media, or popular press. This was already the case before Internet.

[morganherrel]

I think you're right, Jamie. Although you sound like you're coming from a place of hurt or indignation, and I hope you can let that go. That said, the hypocrisy and double standard is real, so I kinda get it. It's a fact that can't be denied.

[EmmaMary]

WITHOUT PREJUDICE

I Quote "Even if a woman says she’s okay with a man crying on her shoulder, I believe she would lose respect and attraction for him. No amount of convincing would change my mind about this." End Quote.

Referring to the above, with all due respect it's fairly obvious that we are all wasting our more than valuable time, in even trying to explain or put OUR own personal comments or opinions, as you have completely closed down and have quite simply become extremely argumentative to anything that anyone has already posted.

I will though, go as far in saying that a vast majority of what you have put is complete and utter baloney or nonsense etc... But as you will obviously dismiss this without hesitation, I shall continue no further other than to say, it certainly would not do you any harm at all in perhaps reading again what @_Maya_ has posted.

I wish you good luck and happiness.

[JamieRobinson1994]

Thank you, I appreciate your feedback. Perhaps the user you tagged and some of the other users haven’t read the entire post, all I see is cherry picking on one line instead of analysing the entire post.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[_Maya_]

So you are telling us how we really feel. That's nice. I assure you that we do not feel how you say we do. At least most of us do not. I would not mind one bit if I was dating a guy and he showed his emotions. I would be worried if he didn't and especially true if he didn't for major things that everyone SHOULD be upset and show emotions. For example if his mom passed away from a long battle with cancer and he cried I would absolutely understand why and support him. If he didn't show emotion I would probably consider him a heartless person for watching his mother die and being souless about it. That is just one example. So I don't agree with what you are saying or what you are telling your girlfriend. You sound like you always have to be Mr tough guy and the reason is because you believe that we are secretly disgusted by men showing emotions. False.

[JamieRobinson1994]

I come to terms years ago I had no choice to change because if I didn’t I’d still be a virgin and not been in a relationship. Like I said I don’t make the rules.

[_Maya_]

You mean your made up rules?

[JamieRobinson1994]

It’s not my made up rules, just like it’s not made up rules that women are not attracted to men that lack confidence, have poor social skills, unambiguous etc.

[_Maya_]

" lack confidence, have poor social skills, unambiguous"

What has any of that got to do with displaying emotions?

[JamieRobinson1994]

All of them I mentioned and displaying emotions still comes under behaviours that women don’t observe men on.

[SweetPi]

Agree we judge on feelings! Honestly it's why you cry too!

Just want a good cry that is weird! Watched Bambi aw come cry on me!

What ever happens she might care for you and be disgusted by it. Never showing she does not like that!

Wait a year or two before showing emotion like that! She was talking about what ever not come cry on me and be soft.

[JamieRobinson1994]

There’s a time and place to cry such as loss a loved one, birth of child, wedding day and yes even Bambi

[SweetPi]

Yes but a lot of guys will abuse it! One guy I had this talk to would whine about anything so I'd be his mommy comforting him

[LazerBean]

People with decent standards want someone who is emotionally honest and emotionally stable. Both of those.

If a woman doesn't like you after you show emotion, it's she now knows that you are NOT both of those.

Men who are both of those tend to thrive in the relationship world.

[sirderpsalot123]

I've never had any woman respond positively to any expression of weakness or vulnerability from me. Not my girlfriend, not my female friends, not my sister, not even my mom. They barely tolerate me being sick.

[dustybiker2]

Pfft Untrue (since listed) Because you often take them the wrong way. You see their answers and responses from your point of view not the view thry are making it from. Terms you take and see negatively they see as positives. So most of the responses you get from what you call or see as weaknesses are coming from a place of caring and love. Perspective.

[Still-alive]

This is pretty much 'hear me preach and no you can't disagree with me' the topic lol

[JamieRobinson1994]

The post wa mixture of objectivity, observable reality and yeah there some of my subjective take due to loved experiences.

[LazerBean]

He's a total pussy, no wonder he's better off faking

[Anonymous]

I assume with your girlfriend you had to be the one to ask her out and hit on her

[JamieRobinson1994]

I asked her out after seeing each other for 2 weeks. She’s my sister-in-law’s niece, we knew each other for years.

[Opinion Owner]

Why am I not surprised

[Astarlessnightsky]

Sure. Maybe stop listening to such toxic podcasts

[JamieRobinson1994]

Podcasts I tune into relate to my life experiences and they answer all unresolved diagnostics that I looked for many years

[SaoirseS]

Yes, just like you’re doing here.

[OtterMan68]

Jesus wept. Are you better than He is?

[JamieRobinson1994]

Definitely not

[Abbycado]

Yep.

[JamieRobinson1994]

Blocked

[Still-alive]

^ Oh i see this is just you wanting to just say whatever you want and not be challenged on it huh?