Is this behaviour (of the guy I am dating) a disrespect of my boundary?

[Anonymous]

I invited this guy i am dating to my place for fourth date. I mentioned it to him day before that I’m not ready to sleep yet however I’m fine with anything above waist. When he came over, he didn’t try to flirt or touch. After about 3 hours of talking and watching a movie, I told him in a humorous way “how long will I have to wait for you to kiss me?”. Then he started saying that “you’re not ready. You sent that message that you’re fine only with above waist. You’re not ready”.
and then he said this “no matter what you say, you’re not ready”. I felt like he was pressing me and I told him “I’m ready”.

I’m wondering if he was stepping over my boundaries. I mean he should have just initiated a kiss when I made that light hearted remark about not getting one. Please help me understand.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Alright, I have to pretend to be him, and I'll give you what I would be thinking.

I would be thinking you don't want to even have sex with me, and that you're just using me for attention. I'd be analyzing the other conditions you've been setting fourth hard at that point as well. Like, do you have ex's you had sex with on the first date? if so, why is there rules being set for me when they just get to fuck? I'd be thinking you don't even really like me. Trying to use me for money or pull me into hard commitments by using the pussy as the carrot on the stick?

Yeah for reals... I don't think I would even gave you the 4th date... wasting my time and you think I'm a beta that you make rules for. I might keep you around, but I'd start talking to other women, and as soon as I found one, I'd drop you like a bad habit.

Now that's just me, not him, but I hope my opinion on what I would be thinking gives you some perspective and might help you figure out what's going on.

I mean it honestly sounds like he shit tested your shit test. Look up "shit test" if you don't know what I mean.

[Asker]

He knows that I’m not sexually active and I told him that I’m not ready to sleep yet but above waist is fine. What do you think about it now?
Also, He paid on first date and then I made sure to pay on second. For third date, we did a simple picnic together. So it’s clear to him I am not after his money.

I wanted to ask you. You said “ wasting my time and you think I'm a beta that you make rules for”. Do all men dislike when women make some small expectations during dating like I made by saying “below waist is fine”? He has a huge ego so do you think that he would have felt like I’m trying to make him look like he’s below me by making such expectation?

[D_Bone_Steak]

Does he know history about you? That's going to be a factor. If you were "easy" for others then yeah it's going to feel like he's getting the rules for betas while alphas get the rules broken for them.

From my experience in Japan where I've ran into women that haven't been sexually active for a long time... they are desperate for some dick. They cum almost as fast and they have the cock inside them. In short I don't buy this story of just not being sexually active, because you'd be trying to pull his pants down as soon as a socially acceptable place was found. I think you're fibbing to be real.

It might be clear to him that you're not after his money, I don't even know if he has any... I'm just telling you my thoughts of women I've dealt with... some of them are only after money. I'm not entirely sure about what the situation is between you two. I still don't know if you've been sleeping around and took a month break and now call that sexually inactive.

There is a ton of missing context and factors that I simply don't have... I'm just telling you what I would most likely be thinking. Still though... women that haven't had sex in a while, can't wait to suck and fuck some cock. I doubt you're just a femcel that has rules... I would also suspect you have another man going on in the background... some boyfriend or husband even. I've ran into that a lot.

Simply put... women are hornier than men when they've actually been deprived of dick. Way hornier. Your subtle rejection might signal that you've been dicked down so hard recently that you're waiting for your swollen vagina to heal up for more action.

And on the flip side if you're a Puritan... that's no fun. You didn't even jerk him off? He's probably feeling a bit of rejection, and just giving you some back is all I'm really saying.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Also... along with what I've already said... this top side only rule could feel like being used for attention with no intention of going further. Any real man that thinks he's being used for attention isn't going to like it. The men that do pay for onlyfans girls or even girls on Twitch.

Like for reals you might not be after money, but I would highly suspect you're just after attention. That's worth more than money to a lot of women. Sometimes a gold digger is more attractive than an attention whore because they're less demanding. I'm just saying. Again, I don't really know what's going on between you two. Just food for thought... think about it.

[Asker]

May I DM you please. I would like to give few details and to get your opinion and advise.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Sure... but don't get sexual or I'll block you. Keep it serious on serious matters.

[Asker]

Naah, I’m a decent woman, the exception you will find here on gag

[D_Bone_Steak]

Thank god, I get so tired of "chicks" that are probably actually men trying to do gay talk with me on this site. I don't understand... why don't they go to a website that is for sexy talk if that's what they want.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Feel free to hit me up, but remind me what the question was about. Let me know if there's issues trying to, because who knows if I set up road blocks for the prior mentioned types of people.

[Asker]

Thanks, I messaged you

[slatyb]

Very weird for a middle-aged man. I think he's a waste of time.

[Asker]

Thank you for sharing your opinion. I’ll keep it in mind!

[slatyb]

I dated at your age. When a woman showed me she wanted to be kissed, I kissed her. Often that was at the end of the first date.

His behavior is understandable in a shy 20-year-old. At his age it's odd. I'm more concerned by his patronizing comment that you aren't ready. That's a huge red flag. He seems extremely immature for his age.

[Asker]

I agree. I’ve noticed that he does have a different way of perceiving things and people. If you don’t mind, may I DM you. Actually this is a long story and it’s been few months since the situation in the question happened. I’ve gone no contact with him but I still think of him. And I want to either reach out to him or just try and stop thinking about him. So your opinion and advise will be helpful.

[Asker]

Or I can send details here too if you prefer that. Please let me know your preference. Thanks

[slatyb]

You can DM.

[Asker]

Thank you. DMing now

[Anonymous]

Boyfriend tied me up and blindfolded me then stated to f*ck me with a penis extender on. I panicked thinking it was another guy.

[Asker]

Take your garbage brain out of my question thread!

[WhitneySnow]

He was trying to get you to agree to whatever he wanted to do. He’s very manipulative and not respecting your boundaries.

[Asker]

Appreciate your inputs

[WhitneySnow]

No prob!

[Anonymous]

You're a flake. Now you understand.😆

[Asker]

Why am I a flake when I didn’t sign up for anything?