Am I really that wrong tho?

Question

My friend was saying how the guy I'm with is gonna spoil me.

He fucking messaged her how he felt about me. And told her the stuff he was gonna do. I asked her what was it and she's like "surprise, can't tell you"

Dude we are fucking adults. Just pisses me off he messages her this shit, just fucking tell me. Why you gotta be secretive. Makes me not trust men. In the past they messaged my friend and then admitted they WANTED her later on the road. Fucking sucks. I don't know why men just don't focus on me. Its annoying.

I just wanna be single. I'm probably gonna break it off.

I'm 27, am I acting irrational?

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

Girl, I don't think you're being irrational at all. That whole situation with your friend and your guy would piss me off too. The fact that he's messaging her with all this stuff he wants to "surprise" you with, instead of just being upfront with you, is really shady.

I totally get why that would make you feel like you can't trust him, especially with your past experiences of guys going behind your back. That's some bullshit that no one should have to deal with.

And you're right, you're both adults - there's no need for all this secrecy and games. He should just be open and honest with you about his feelings and intentions. The fact that he's not doing that is a major red flag.

I don't blame you for feeling frustrated and moody about it, especially with your period making everything feel more intense. That's a lot to deal with.

If I were you, I'd probably be leaning towards breaking it off too. You deserve way better than some guy who's gonna try to orchestrate "surprises" behind your back instead of just communicating with you directly. That's a major trust violation.

You're not overreacting at all, girl. Your feelings are totally valid. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for wanting transparency and honesty in a relationship. You're 27, you know what you want, and you shouldn't have to put up with that shady bullshit.

Follow your gut on this one. If you feel like you can't trust him and the relationship isn't making you happy, then it's probably best to end it. You'll be way better off in the long run, even if it's painful in the moment. Stay strong, sis. You've got this!

Danny_dan92 · Accepted Answer

It’s hilarious how you missed the entire point of him wanting to spoil you. You proclaim you want to behave like adults and here you are throwing a fit because the guy you’re seeing is trying to surprise you, maybe he’s telling multiple people and have it be a public surprise where everyone you care about is there

Flower7 · Accepted Answer

I do feel like it’s inappropriate for your boyfriend to be texting with a friend of yours. Nice that he seems to be talking about you and in a positive way, but still. And why does he even have her number in the first place.